Afternoon, December 20th..

"...bless you and watch over you--"

He could just hear the priest's voice as he stepped out of the kitchen, his skin feeling alive with the prospect of being watched even though he knew he was alone in the corridor. He took to counting candelabra as he passed them.

"...and be gracious to you. The Lord look kindly upon you, and..."

His hands slipped into his pockets, finally shuffling to a stop in the doorway leading into the north east corner of the nave. The holiday decorations were too cheerful. He hadn't really noticed them until now, and seeing glittering lights and bright colors around a simple box that looked like it was filled with Patrick made him want to tear down every piece of it.

Sister Matilda stood near Patrick's head, her hands folded before her, her head lowered. Another woman stood at her right with her long black hair loose and spilling over the white of her shirt, touching the waist of her red pants.

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son..and of the Holy Spirit," the priest said, crossing the air over Patrick's coffin with a slightly curved hand. He was short and looked tired, his bald head, with puffy white hair sprouting out over his ears, bowed solemnly.

"Amen," the congregation replied. There was a lot of shuffling around, shifting..sniffing and soft weeping. Sister Matilda and the woman beside her lifted their heads at the same time..but the woman was the only one that kept looking at him. Even as the tiny sea of darkly clad people parted to let a single, curly blond hair figure pass, he could feel her eyes on him.

He gulped, watching Sera curl her hands into the edge of the coffin and look down into it. The priest bowed lower.

"I am sorry, child."

She nodded and reached forward to lay one hand on Patrick's folded ones. The moment seemed to last forever. No one moved, or said anything. He couldn't hear any more sniffing or crying. He held his own breath until Sera bent to kiss Patrick's brow and stepped away from the coffin. Sister Matilda wrapped her arms warmly around her, but Sera didn't hug her back.

One by one, people broke away from the little black mass that was hovering between the pews. Sister Margaret and Robyn paused at the side of the coffin and crossed it. Sister Agatha..several more nuns that he didn't know. There were people that he had never seen before, a little girl and boy that needed to be lifted up to see inside the coffin. They all had maroon hair.

"Is he sleeping? When is he gonna wake up? He promised that--"

"Oh, darling." The woman that was holding the little boy started to sob, and that just seemed to confuse him more.

His hands tightened in his pockets. He didn't understand why having something to say goodbye to was so important. It seemed to just make everything worse.

The body of the person that everyone lost was right there in front of them. They had to look at it, knowing that Patrick wasn't ever going to get up, or smile, or laugh again. He wasn't going to be around to help the church or the kids, light another cigarette, or to make Sera happy.

"Toby."

He blinked out of his thoughts, his eyes shooting up at Zenny's familiar voice..coming out of the mouth of the long haired woman next to Matilda. The old nun's eyes lifted to him, Sera's head turned to look at Zenny, then in his direction. The priest..followed by one head after another until every single pair of eyes was fixed on him and the weight of all of their stares felt like a great force pushing him back into the corridor behind him.

"Come," Zenny said, extending a hand in his direction. She smiled smoothly, and the expression looked terribly wrong surrounded by several tear stained faces. There were murmurs of protest and outrage, and of confusion.

"I think that the boy that this young man so selflessly gave his life for indeed deserves the opportunity to say his own goodbyes. Don't you agree? Toby."

The slap echoed all the way to the domed, painted ceiling of the nave. His head snapped to the side, his cheek burning with the impact. There was ringing in his ears. He closed his eyes, refusing to touch the rising welt on his face.

Sera huffed once, then again..and threw her arms around his neck. She squeezed him as she sobbed into his ear, weakly beating her fists into his shoulders. Her honey scented hair tickled his nose. He swallowed painfully around the hard lump in his own throat, his arms coming to life and slipping around her small body.

He didn't know how he was able to listen to it, or ignore her heavy, uneven breaths and wet tears on his neck.

"Wh-why d-didn't you s-stay..?" she panted. "T-talk to m-me..t-tell me wh-what h-happened yours-self..?" She leaned to his right, dropping down on the pew beside him, but she hadn't let go. He grunted softly, hunched over her like a shell, keeping his head lowered.

He didn't know how to answer her. He honestly couldn't remember his reasons, but he remembered leaving.

"I don't know.."

"Y-you h-have a habit of r-running away f-from people, d-don't you..?" She brushed her palm over his hair over and over. He shook his head, counteracting the calming feeling that he didn't want to have. His hand slid to her shoulders, he gently dislodged her from him, gave her hands back to her. "I am n-not blaming you, T-Toby."

"Mmph.." He licked his lips as he sat back, draping his arm across the back of the pew. She turned to face him, curling her legs up underneath her. Her feet disappeared beneath the length of her black skirt. "I didn't think you were.. I kind of..never thought you would, just.." he shook his head, his eyes finally coming to a stop on his drumming fingers. "I knew you were going to have to see him.. At the same time, I didn't want you to."

Sera coughed and snorted, but when he glanced at her, she was smiling. "I'm a b-big girl, Toby, I c-can take c-care of myself."

"Heh.." He looked back to his hand. "You're smaller than me, Sera."

"You kn-know what I m-meant."

He nodded.

They sat in silence. Every so often, he saw her raise her hands to her face and rub at her eyes, dab at her nose with a neatly folded tissue.

"Z-Zenny t-told me what h-happened.." His eyes slid slowly over to her, she met them steadily. "B-but..I'd l-like to hear the story f-from you."

"Sera.."

"Toby, don't deny me this. I deserve this, she was r-right about that." She touched his hand, pressing his fingers flat into the bench to make them stop moving. "I don't want a half baked story from someone who was not even th-there. I can handle i-it."

He inhaled, filling his lungs completely..then slowly let the breath out.

"How much did Zenny tell you about that woman who was asking about me.."

******

The silence that had settled over them wasn't as heavy as he expected it to be. He knew that being quiet and hiding things, trying to protect people from them, was hard..but it surprised him exactly how much weight a simple explanation could lift off of him.

He stared at his knees as he waited for her to say something. Little tearing sounds came from her hands as Sera wrung the tissue into a fuzzy mess.

"Th-they were a-asking about you b-because they wanted to k--..k-kill--"

"Yes."

It wasn't the first time she has asked that question, but he had resigned himself to answering anything she wanted to know..no matter how many times he had to repeat himself.

"A-and P-Patrick.."

He exhaled. "Yeah.."

"I-I..I d-don't know wh-what to s-say." Sera balled the tissue up in between her palms. "I kn-knew he was a-angry w-with you, I know a l-lot of people were..and a-are, but I d-didn't think he would--"

"I don't blame him for it, Sera. I don't feel like he betrayed me or something.."

Sera blinked. "Y-you..d-don't..?"

He shook his head. "No..I don't. I mean, not anymore.. When I first figured it out, yeah..but I could understand it. I understood him, and why he wanted to do it. And really, dying because of a Claymore isn't that bad.."

"I-isn't th-that..b-b-bad?! What are you saying?!" Her voice rose, sounding high and squeaky.

"I don't mean that I want one of them to kill me, I've just..understood..that that's how people like me are supposed to die."

"P-people like y-you. Y-you mean..d-d--u-uh.."

He licked his lips slowly, the urge to smile coming and going in the blink of an eye. "Yes.." he answered, saving her the trouble of saying the word 'demon.' She sighed heavily. "That's how things work where I'm from, that's how they've always worked. I understand it..but I'm not allowing it to happen anymore."

"A-anymore..?"

He blinked, his mouth parting in surprise. He figured that he was just on a roll, already spilling information like a fountain. "There was a time..when I wanted it to happen, and if Patrick would've done this back then, I wouldn't have cared.

"We're not supposed to be talking about me, Sera, this is supposed to be for Patrick.."

"Are you ok-kay..?"

He blinked again and looked over at her. She was staring intently at the wad of fluffy, useless tissue in her hands. "Yeah..I'm fine. What about you.."

She nodded. "I'm alr-right..thank you." Her eyes lifted, but her head didn't. Their gazes met..and he found the corners of his mouth stretching into a sad smile.

She was lying..just like he was. He didn't really expect her to be alright, but he understood the want to keep someone from worrying. It was sweet that she wanted to try and do that for him.

She chuckled weakly and sniffed, color stretching across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Her head lowered in a nod, she started unfolding herself to stand up. "I'm g-glad you c-came, Toby. P-Patrick s-saved you, I'm s-sure he would l-like that you were h-here. Not n-necessarily that I h-hugged you, b-but.."

He stood too, holding out his hand to her, which she took with a fleeting smile. Her hand squeezed his tightly for a moment, then fell away. "Right. I know."

"They're l-laying him to..t-to..r-rest in the, um.." She huffed and fiddled with the tissue. "I-in the, u-um..cemet-tery. I-if you w-want to go s-see.."

He grunted softly, not sure how to take what she said. "You're not going to be okay by yourself, Sera.."

"I-I..I j-just n-need some m-m-more tissues, that's..th-that's all."

"I can stay with you.. We can, uh.." he glanced over his shoulder at the open doorway..then shook his head. "Come on..I'll stay, we can go see him later.. Is that okay..?"

When he turned back, he found her staring up at him hopefully. She squeaked when she was caught, and nodded. Her hair bounced all around her face, a couple curls sticking to her cheeks.

"Th-that would be..n-nice. Th-thank you."

"Yeah.. No problem.."