Laughter. Laughter that spills through memories and into dreams. The laughter of family, of friends, of enemies, of those who took what they wanted and never looked back, never once thought of the child they had stolen from.
I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
There was happiness once. The feeling of being surrounded by love, of having everything I could ever have wanted, of lacking nothing but the motivation to make of myself whatever I wished. A family that loved me held me close, gave me everything, showed me the world ... and then they were taken away.
Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
How strange to think that as I was becoming a woman, the world was conspiring to take away everything that anchored me in place. Father, mother, sister ... all gone. Perhaps I should have gone with them. Maybe then the pain that came after would have been given to another. I thought he was family, that he would look after me. But all he did was use me and throw me away. He sold me into a fate worse than death.
I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow,it seems colder now
I still remember so clearly the fear, the hunger, the pain. Being crowded into pens to await the auction block, knowing that even if I survived the night to come, the pattern would repeat, and I would always return there. That place haunts my memories, my dreams. I can't escape. It torments me with every beat of my heart.
Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I do not know how I ever found the strength to get away, but I do know this. For every crack in my soul I mend, another remains shattered, broken beyond repair by the actions of others, the pain of the past. By the love that was ripped away from me, by the promises broken, by the torments inflicted by those who never took the time to know me, who never wanted to know me. No matter where I go, or what I become, they will linger with me ... always.
I still remember.
I will never forget ...
((Lyrics in italics are from Field of Innocence by Evanescence.))
I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
There was happiness once. The feeling of being surrounded by love, of having everything I could ever have wanted, of lacking nothing but the motivation to make of myself whatever I wished. A family that loved me held me close, gave me everything, showed me the world ... and then they were taken away.
Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
How strange to think that as I was becoming a woman, the world was conspiring to take away everything that anchored me in place. Father, mother, sister ... all gone. Perhaps I should have gone with them. Maybe then the pain that came after would have been given to another. I thought he was family, that he would look after me. But all he did was use me and throw me away. He sold me into a fate worse than death.
I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow,it seems colder now
I still remember so clearly the fear, the hunger, the pain. Being crowded into pens to await the auction block, knowing that even if I survived the night to come, the pattern would repeat, and I would always return there. That place haunts my memories, my dreams. I can't escape. It torments me with every beat of my heart.
Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I do not know how I ever found the strength to get away, but I do know this. For every crack in my soul I mend, another remains shattered, broken beyond repair by the actions of others, the pain of the past. By the love that was ripped away from me, by the promises broken, by the torments inflicted by those who never took the time to know me, who never wanted to know me. No matter where I go, or what I become, they will linger with me ... always.
I still remember.
I will never forget ...
((Lyrics in italics are from Field of Innocence by Evanescence.))