A moment spent cuddling close, hugging her new friend to her chest, and she looked up, her eyes soft as she reached up to touch his face gently. "Don't cry, Jessie ... Spud doesn't want you to cry. And neither do I."

His shining eyes gazed upon her, seeing the sweet, lovely child before all of the madness. "I won't cry, Dovey." At least not yet. "Spud's his name? That's a right fine name, if I do say so." He laughed softly and gave her a kiss to the cheek. "And look, there's sweets that he's brought for you." Opening the egg, he held out a jelly bean for her.

Wary fingers took the jelly bean from him, raising it to her nose to sniff curiously. The smell was sweet, almost sickeningly so, but for the memories it brought back to her of home and family. She had almost forgotten, in the years she had been held back one way or another, what those times had been like. Under Jessie's gaze, she offered the sweet treat to the stuffed bunny cuddled close, murmuring to it as though it could answer, before biting the end of the jelly bean.

He watched the emotions cross her face as he gently rubbed her back. When she took a bite of the candy, he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "I'm going to put away the groceries. Why don't you take Spud and go watch some television, ok?" Another kiss to the side of her head and he stood up with a worried look in his eyes.

He had hoped that she'd get better with time, but it didn't seem that way. He was scared that if he took her to a doctor, they'd take her from him. Swallowing that fear and putting on a brave face, he stepped back and started to unload the rest of the groceries.

Still chewing thoughtfully on the sweet bean, Dove nodded trustingly, hugging Jessie around the middle once more before moving away. Her voice drifted back to him.

"What do you think we should watch, Spud? I know, let's find that music thingy, and I'll show you show to play along ..."

She sat herself down on the floor as the strains of an intricate piece of classical guitar filled the room, carefully arranging Spud the bunny on the floor in front of her. She never ceased talking to it all the while, seemingly lost in her own little world again.

As he put away the groceries, he watched her playing with the bunny. A sad smile on his face as he sighed heavily. The peanut butter was grabbed and held in his hand. How many meals could they make from that single jar? He knew Dove needed help. He wondered how long he'd have to work to afford the kind of help she needed. And it pained him that he couldn't do it himself. He actually enjoyed when she was like this. Quiet, content, happy. Childlike, yes. But it beat the cold fear in her eyes and the terror as she screamed out her nightmares.

Turning, he grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with milk. "Dovey, love, come get your milk."

"Busy."

If Jessie looked up now, he would find her sitting cross-legged on the floor, her hands held aloft as she looked very seriously at the stuffed bunny in front of her.

"See, you have to follow the measure of the chord even if you're picking, Spud, otherwise it all sounds bad, and no one will want to listen," she explained, glancing at her left hand. Her fingers formed strange shapes in the air, switching positions in time with the music that played softly on the television. Only the movement of her other hand gave away what she was doing ... finger-picking and strumming an air-guitar.

"Busy." He chuckled softly and took a drink of the milk.

Sitting in a chair, he crossed one leg over the other. He debated with himself whether to encourage the delusion, or not. Another swig of milk taken and the glass gets put down onto the table. He knew what his next gift for her would be. "You sound wonderful, Dovey. Simply wonderful."

The look he got for that comment could only have come from a little sister. Flat and amused all at once, Dove turned to look at him, her head tilting to one side. "I keep getting bits wrong, Jessie," she pointed out, reaching over to sit Spud the bunny in her lap and cuddle it close again. "I wouldn't if I could practise more."

"It still sounds quite lovely, Dove. And you can practice all you'd like. I promise." He offered a warm smile that definitely did not reach his eyes. "Dovey, what're we going to do?"

She looked down at her fingers playing with the stuffed toy's limbs, and her movements stilled. When she looked up, the innocence was gone from her eyes again, and she spoke quietly.

"We're going to keep going, keep moving, because if we stay in one place too long, they'll find us again." Her eyes strayed to the stuffed rabbit again, and she let out a soft snort of amusement. "Thank you."

And there were the haunted eyes that knew too much. "We're safe for now, it's going to be alright." He nodded slowly. His voice had a worried edge to it and he held up his hand. But then she retreated back and he sighed, his arm relaxing down into his lap. "You're welcome, Dovey."

With a quiet snicker, she shuffled across the floor to curl up next to him, wrapping one arm around his calf and laying her head on his knee, the other arm wrapped securely around her new stuffed friend.

"Don't be so serious, Jessie. You have to smile sometimes, you know." And as the childlike side of Dove spoke, her fingers poked the hollow of his knee lightly, trying to make him laugh.

He watched her crawl over and when she curled around his leg, he lay his hand atop her head. A warm smile as he looked down into her big, innocent blue eyes.

"I love you, little one." He soothed her hair back from her face. Laughing softly at the poke, he ruffled her hair. "Look who is taking care of who now, hmm?"

She shrugged artlessly. "Love you back, jelly bean," was the inevitable reply, and Spud was presented for his inspection. "Shake hands and make friends ... everybody has to be friends ..."

Her voice faltered, and there was one of the dangerous moment they had weathered before and would no doubt weather again, where she wavered between innocence and knowledge.

He continued to smile down on her and he took the little bunny arm between his fingers and shook it gently. "So nice to meet you, Sir Spud. I am Jessie." His smile faltered as he watched her confusion. And he held his breath until he found out which side won over.

" ... friends ... friendly ... family ..." The darkness was back, filling her eyes and her voice as she curled up tightly on the floor, heedless of the tender wound in her side. Perhaps the pain helped to keep her grounded, though there was little enough to ground when she fell into this mindset. "Gone, all gone, and they'll find us ..."

She looked up at him wildly, blue eyes not meeting his but focusing on the bridge of his nose in a very disconcerting manner. "We have to go, can't stay ... they'll find us, make us go back ... don't make me go back, don't make me do that again ..."

Jessie saw it coming, as it always did, with the slow murmurs. He steeled himself, and did all he could do when she was in this state. Sliding out of the chair, he curled himself around her and held her close. Murmuring softly, words of encouragement and trying to soothe her as best he could. He hated these agitated states. "Shh.. Dove, calm down. Nobody's taking you away from me. I'm here, shh. Nobody will ever hurt you, never again."

"Old men, young men, cruel men ... all touching, all taking, hurting ..." Her fingers clutched at him, holding on tightly as she gasped and shuddered. That was the strange thing about her; there were never any tears, not anymore.

He laughed as she bounded into his arms and he pulled her to sit in his lap. The kiss was received with a nose crunching grimace and his shoulders shook. At least one part of her was happy. He just hoped that his boss would entertain the idea of dusting off the harp in the mall and allow her to play. It seemed like the best solution for everybody, as a security guard usually stood by and didn't allow anybody near the musicians. Just getting her used to the man in uniform was going to be the challenge. Before he let himself get worked up, he decided it was best to leave that bridge uncrossed until it was it's time.

She hunkered down in his lap, leaning against him, a child of a woman gabbling away happily to her stuffed rabbit. Eventually, however, she seemed to run out of things to say, and sighed softly, hugging Spud tightly to her chest. "Jelly bean?" she murmured quietly. "Why don't I 'member my family? Must have had a family before ... Spud says I must have."

Quietly, he rubbed her back and listened to her babble to the stuffed bunny. His mind drifted off, as it usually did, to the place he imaged for them. A brilliantly blue, sunlit sky with soft puffy clouds above a large oak tree that spread it's branches above a red brick house with green shutters. There were flowers in the yard and a dog on a chain in the backyard. When she questioned him, his eyes landed back on her.

"Hmm?" He'd fielded the question before and spoke quietly. He told the story about her parents that she had told him. Only, in this state, they hadn't died. They were simply on a second honeymoon world cruise and left her for Jessie to take care of.

She accepted it all quietly, knowing somewhere in the back of the mind that it was simply a kind lie. But she wouldn't be able to cope with being told the truth when she was like this, and she was grateful that Jessie had never tried to. "Jelly bean?" she asked again, rubbing the stuffed bunny's arm against her cheek. "What happens if you get a boyfriend? There won't be room for three people in here."

He laughed softly to her question. "When I get a boyfriend, we'll be living in a big house where you can throw parties and dress up like a princess. And he'll love you, just like I do. He'll take care of us, and we'll take care of him. But I'm not looking for a boyfriend, right now. All I need is right here, sitting in my lap. My best friend, my sister, my compatriot and my partner in crime." He smiled and touched her nose with his own.

"And Spud," she added with a nod of her head and a cheeky smile, cuddling against him again. Then she gasped, and scowled down at the bunny. "Ewww! Shouldn't say things like that, Spud, it's icky!" Indignant eyes turned onto Jessie, one hand waving the badly behaved toy in his face, "Tell him not to say stuff like that!"

"And Spud." he laughed softly and then leaned back to watch her thoroughly trounce the ill-behaved bunny. When the egg popped open and the jelly beans went flying, he jerked his head back. And then the bunny was in his face. He maintained a serious tone and look for the bad bunny. "No Spud, it's not nice to say icky stuff like that. Now you give Dove a kiss and tell her you're sorry." Guiding her hand back, the bunny's nose was placed against her cheek.

She giggled as the bunny's nose brushed her cheek, looking down at the sweets scattered all over the both of them. "Oops ... sorry, jelly bean." She hung her head in a ridiculous facsimile of guilt, still scolding the badly behaved Spud under her breath. Whatever he'd said seemed to have offended her royally.

Her giggle lifted his spirits and he hugged her close. "Don't worry about the candy, I'll get it." A kiss to the top of her head and he slid her off of his lap and into the chair. Kneeling down, he picked up the jelly beans. "What did Spud say, Dove?"

Dove scrunched up her nose, making a face that indicated disgust and a fair amount of guilty amusement as well. "He was rude," she said, nodding firmly. "He said what if I get a ..." Her voice lowered into a harsh whisper, loaded with the revulsion of a a child when confronted with this appalling subject. " ... a boyfriend?"

She effected a shudder, shaking her finger in front of the rabbit's nose. "Bad Spud! Boys are smelly and sticky and they pull my hair! 'Cept for jelly bean, 'course."

Jessie looked up curiously. He couldn't imagine a man, much less a boy, getting close enough to Dove for that idea to even be plausible. Not in her current state, at least. "You're right, Dove, boys are icky and smelly and they pull hair. They're not nice at all."

He gave a firm nod as he got up to deposit the jelly beans into the bin. It seemed like such a waste, he'd spent five dollars on the bunny and the candy. He wanted her to have something nice in while living in a dump like this. Turning back, he plastered on his best smile. "Bad Spud, very bad."

The slap of the bin lid brought her out of her muttered scolding to the rabbit, and a look of consternation covered her face. Then she looked down at her feet, guilt radiating from her, and muttered in a very small voice, "I'm sorry I made a mess."

"Oh no." He shook his head and moved to kneel in front of her. How many times had they done this very same thing? And every time, no matter what, his reaction was the same. "No, Dovey. It's alright. The beans were stale anyway. And there was no icky mess to clean up with a paper towel or sponge. It's ok, all is better now."

She must look so very strange to him, a fully-grown young woman huddled in on herself, cuddling a soft toy to her chest tightly. And even with that reassurance, she remained subdued, slowly returning from the little girl to the young woman once again. The transitions would greatly confuse anyone who had not seen them before, and she was grateful that Jessie hadn't simply left her behind when it became clear that she wasn't right in the head.

He could see it in her face, especially the when the light in her eyes dimmed to a mere flickering candle. "Come on Dove, let's get to bed." He rose and offered her his hand. Of course, he didn't bring it too close to pose as any kind of threat. He'd learned quickly, with a fierce bite to his fingers, to never do that again.

Again, she nodded slowly, uncurling from the chair to slide her hand into his, following along one step behind, pausing at the doorway to peer inside before crossing the threshold. Spud remained hugged against her ribs as she looked up at Jessie, blinking tiredly.

His shoulders sagged, just a bit, under the burden that no young man should ever have to bear. He didn't think of it that way though. As he saw it, in it's simplest of forms, something needed to be done and he was doing his best to fix it. There was no reason or rhyme, that was just the way it was. As always, he paused before the door to let her get a peek into the bedroom, before continuing in.

He stopped before the bed and carefully turned down a corner before turning back to her. "Arms up." He gave the same order, every night.

A faint grimace flashed across her face at the order, though she obeyed him quickly enough, letting him pull her shirts off her and drop a nightie over her head. She slapped his hand away, however, when he reached to help her out of her trousers. "I'm not quite that little tonight, Jessie," she told him apologetically. turning away to finish undressing herself before scrambling into the bed.

He helped her get into the nightie and then stepped back when she slapped his hand. A small smile on his face, he admired her tenacity. As she finished getting undressed, Jessie peeled the button down shirt he wore off, leaving his white t-shirt on. He never exposed his back, especially to her. The scars that criss crossed it with silvers, purples, blues and yellows could possibly do her a lot of harm in her delicate state. His shoes were kicked off and his trousers were dropped into a pool around his long feet.

Stepping out of them, he crawled into the bed beside her. Gently he wrapped his arms around her. This was the routine and the only time he knew he could offer the sibling like affection without being attacked. Reaching over, he dimmed the light. They never slept in complete darkness. With a sigh, he steered her head to his shoulder and sighed softly.

Wrapped in his arms, Dove let out a sigh of her own and relaxed. This was the only time when she was fully herself that she let herself relax, knowing she was safe and protected. The sight of the bunny squashed between them made her smile faintly, and she wriggled a little to get comfortable, willingly cuddling into the affectionate comfort offered to her and hoping to return even a little of it to him. As the sleepy silence fell over them, her lips moved in a quiet good night. "Love you, Jessie."

"Love you too, Dove," he whispered softly with a soft kiss to her forehead. As she drifted off into sleep, he hoped that it would be a peaceful one. Arching his neck, he stared out of the window that was over the bed they shared.

Reflecting on the day's events, it had been a good one. Then he wondered how many more nights they'd spend like this, in this tiny apartment. He hoped not many. Taking his stare from the moon, his eyes shifted to the sleeping girl beside him. "Not much longer, Dove, not much longer." He sighed softly and stared back at the moon. A silver streak fell down his cheek. Only then, did he allow himself to cry.

*~*~*
((A collaboration between Jessie Angelico and Dove Atherton.))