Man my feet are killing me! I have been doing alot of walking lately. I turned Gus out a couple days ago so he could rest up a bit. I know it's rough on him when we have to work everyday, maybe I can buy a couple mares saddle break one and breed the other then alternate.

The steers are looking good, starting to get a good store of fat on them for the winter. Another week or so, and I will take them down into town to sell. Theres only forty head so I should be able to manage on my own. Still it'll be hard working with just one, sure could use a second pair of hands. Bobbi Joe still tries to help bless her heart, but she just doesn't have the legs anymore.

Don't know what I will do when she is gone.

Talked to Miss Eless again. She sure is a sweet lady, pretty too. Brought me some biscuits the other morning. Not as good as grandma's of course, but they sure hit the spot.

I asked her the other week to have Sunday dinner with me. She said yes, but I wonder if she wasn't just being polite. She seems to have a bunch of fella's that seem to fancy her. Can't say as I blame them either, the other day when she brought me the biscuits she looked so pretty, that I thought about kissing her. I didn't of course, but I thought about it. Still I like the way she smiles at me. They almost seem a special gift, a private thing she is sharing only with the person she is looking at.

I saw Miss Erin the other day in the inn. I was talking to Mr. Lowe about my brand and such when she walked in. I waved, but she was in a hurry as she headed straight upstairs. I like the way Miss Erin smiles too. Hers are different then Miss Eless' though, hers are more like a little surprise when they happen. Kinda like the first brave daffodil of the spring, that pops its head up when there are still patches of snow on the ground. Her dimples are cute, I think they suit her more then the troubled look she often carries. I wish she would smile more.

There was a good thunderstorm the other night. I went out in it for a bit to watch the lightening. I love seeing the St. Elmo's fire on the horns of the herd.

Since I got here I have been just exsisting, not living. I need to change that and start carving out a life for myself here. I think I will have a barbeque so I can meet some more people. I think I will do that Sunday night at the Inn.

I hired a fella by the name of Dakota Steele to help me get those steers down into town. Don't know much about the guy, and we didn't talk much while we were working, there wasn't a whole lot of time for it anyway, I can say the man wasn't lying when he said he could work cattle. The guy sure can cowboy.

Getting those steer down was a bit harder then I had thought as the streets of RyhDin are kinda narrow, but we managed. I got a fair price for the steers, and now since I still am not good at this money system I figured it came out to bout 40,000$. It will be hard to make that last with everything I need to do, and get for my house.

I bought some proper glass windows, and some tin roofing panels for the house. The work went pretty easy, and I got most of it done. Still empty on the inside, but the outside is looking pretty darn good if I do say so myself. I need a couple rocking chairs for the front porch.

Well that was a heck of a weekend! I really had been dreading my birthday this year. It was the first one since my grandma passed away, and I wasn't sure I was entirely prepared for that. Friday was my birthday, Erin came over, and had dinner with me so of course I really enjoyed that. She seemed to have a good time.

Saturday I mostly worked arround the ranch. I went out riding to do a bit of scouting to the north of here. Its pretty country up that way. I am looking forward to heading up that way this week.

Sunday...where to start...I went to the inn, and I will admit it here I kinda got dressed trying to look good hoping to impress someone. I debated for awhile about not wearing a hat, but I just couldn't bring myself to not wear one. That pirate came into the inn...Robert Kidd...what a jackass! He was running off at the mouth about Eless, and then Erin...He called her a whore, so I slugged him. I tried to leave then, but Erin stopped me. I am not sure how it came up, but Erin asked me about the fight on Monday with Anubis. I told her the truth....all of it..and then somehow I ended up kissing her. It was my first kiss! That must seem really funny a man as old as I am and having never kissed a girl. Erin asked me to come have dinner with her tonight before she leaves for her trip.

I liked kissing Erin.....alot!

So I get back from driving the new herd down, and I go to town ended up running into Erin, Lydia and some guy named Glenn at the Teas' n Tomes place.

We wound up playing truth or dare. I hadn't played that since I was back in school. We had a lot of fun. Lydia dared Erin to eat this.....oh this monster pastry..it looked so nasty. She tried to be all polite and stuff when she ate it, but she ended up getting a bunch of chocolate on her face. I couldn't help but grin when she looked at me like that. She looked so cute.

I have left Beth in charge of the day to day running of the ranch for awhile, since I am going to be busy in the WestEnd. She seems a good person.

I have to say that I really love Lydia she is such a sweet woman. She, and Erin always seem to have so much that they hold inside it was good to see both of them smiling, and enjoying the evening.

Erin told me a secret about herself, and I very nearly told her about my secret. The time wasn't right, but I do want to tell her everything.

I saw her again today! She is just....yeah she so has my heart if she would ever decide she wants it. I need to be honest with myself though, why would a woman like Erin, who is so so worldly ever want someone like me. I don't have any money or charm or anything like that to offer her. All I have is a bunch of cows, and some scarred up, calloused hands. I get so nervous when I touch her I can only imagine what she is thinking when her smooth, soft skin touches mine. I look in her eyes, and I see that I am not a image of what she has always dreamed about. It makes it hard to look at her sometimes.

We were at the bookstore....again. It seems like that is becoming our meeting spot. Anyway she was teasing me about how we were being all secretive, and hidden inthe stacks. I told her that boys back in school used to hide in the library to kiss their girlfriends. She asked me if I was wanting to snog...which I guess means kiss...her in the stacks. I told her that I don't make a habit of kissing my friends..which I don't. Well she wanted me to make an exception so "we can be more confused." I told her that "I" was not confused, and then I kissed her on the forehead. I really did want to kiss her though, but I think she was just teasing me.