Wednesday, February 20th, 2013 -- late evening
Jackie?d said that she wasn?t going to bother Ben about talking until after they?d gone back to his place and watched a movie, and Ben was fine with that. He fakes it well enough, feeling okay, during the walk to his house, and maybe even a little better once they?re inside and he?s trying to get Adam to go to bed after Hayley leaves to go home. Adam doesn?t seem bothered by Jackie being there, not even when Ben tells him that she?ll probably be staying the night. Really, the only thing that seems to bother him at all about the evening is that Ben?s making him go to bed even though Ben and Jackie were going to stay up and watch a movie.
?Listen, it?s some dumb chick-flick romance movie anyway,? Ben?s explaining to him from his lean against the bathroom doorway. Adam?s brushing his teeth, but he rolls his eyes anyway, like he doesn?t believe him. Ben tries not to laugh, though there?s still a little bit of amusement in his voice when he tells him, ?Really. You wouldn?t like it.?
Adam grumbles a ?whatever? at his father as he edges past him through to door, heads into his bedroom. He leaves the door open, though, so Ben takes that as an invitation, and he follows as far as his son?s bedroom doorway. ?Goodnight, Adam.? Ben waits for a response for a moment, but Adam is in bed with his back turned to the door, and he doesn?t say anything back, so Ben leaves him to sulk, stepping back from the doorway and shutting the door, leaving it cracked just a little. He makes it a couple steps down the hall before he hears, ?Dad??
Ben does an aboutface, opens the door enough to see into the room. ?Yeah??
Adam?s still in bed, but facing the door now. ?Are things getting worse instead of better?? Ben feels like all the air?s been knocked out of him, and he can?t formulate a response before his son follows with, ?I mean, with you being sick. Is it bad again?? Adam doesn?t sound scared. That isn?t why he?s asking. But he sounds concerned, worried, and that breaks Ben?s heart a little.
Ben doesn?t answer right away -- can?t answer, really -- but he moves into the room, shuts the door most of the way behind him (though the only other person in the house is Jackie, and even if she happened upon the conversation, it wasn?t anything she didn?t already know about), and sits on the edge of Adam?s bed. He feels old, suddenly, and he keeps his hands folded in front of him, keeps his focus there. Avoidant of his own too-perceptive son. ?Yeah.? Letting out a sigh after the one word answer, and then he distracts himself unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up to his elbows, slowly, meticulous about it, even though he normally wouldn?t be. ?Yeah, it?s been bad lately, kiddo.?
?I thought you were getting better.? It isn't accusatory or betrayed -- again, just worried, maybe a little frustrated. He's tracing the lines in the plaid pattern of his bedsheets -- it's a fidgety little thing that an anxious Ben might do, too.
Ben bites his lip, uncertain of what to tell his son. He doesn't want to lie, but he doesn't want to let him know just how bad things are, either. After a long pause, "You trust me?" He turns enough to make eye contact with his son, brows lifted a little. Somehow, he manages not to look too pained -- not to let on that he's afraid to know the answer.
Adam studies his father's face for a moment, then nods, only once, but firmly, decisive. Ben can feel some of the tension in his shoulders disappear.
?Okay. Then... you need to trust me when I say that sometimes, things get worse before they get better.? Adam frowns, his brows knitting, and Ben isn?t really sure why -- but then his son reaches over, grabs Ben?s forearm, pulls on it a little. He?s seen the scars before -- Ben doesn?t make much effort to hide them -- but he?s never mentioned them, even though he must know Ben didn?t have them in the summer, before he disappeared from Vancouver. ?But they are getting better. It?s just not going to be easy. It helps that you?re here, though,? and Adam lets go of Ben?s arm, looks up at his face; at least he?s smiling a little.
?Really??
?Yeah, kiddo.? Adam?s probably too old for it, but Ben leans over to brush a kiss to Adam?s hair anyway; Adam lets him do it, but he makes a face and sort of huffs, which Ben ignores. ?Really. I feel a lot better just from you being here.?
Any sulking from Adam disappears; he just looks happy to hear it. Ben wonders, fleetingly, how much longer he has with his son like this, this kind of simplicity and innocence. He could never tell him, but his son?s resilience in the face of all he?s gone through because of Ben might be the thing that inspires him the most.
?Good night, Dad.?
?Night, Adam.? Ben gives him one more smile, tousles his son?s hair, and then gets up and leaves the room, shutting the door most of the way before heading back downstairs to the living room, where he assumes he?ll find Jackie with the movie cued up and ready to go.
Jackie?d said that she wasn?t going to bother Ben about talking until after they?d gone back to his place and watched a movie, and Ben was fine with that. He fakes it well enough, feeling okay, during the walk to his house, and maybe even a little better once they?re inside and he?s trying to get Adam to go to bed after Hayley leaves to go home. Adam doesn?t seem bothered by Jackie being there, not even when Ben tells him that she?ll probably be staying the night. Really, the only thing that seems to bother him at all about the evening is that Ben?s making him go to bed even though Ben and Jackie were going to stay up and watch a movie.
?Listen, it?s some dumb chick-flick romance movie anyway,? Ben?s explaining to him from his lean against the bathroom doorway. Adam?s brushing his teeth, but he rolls his eyes anyway, like he doesn?t believe him. Ben tries not to laugh, though there?s still a little bit of amusement in his voice when he tells him, ?Really. You wouldn?t like it.?
Adam grumbles a ?whatever? at his father as he edges past him through to door, heads into his bedroom. He leaves the door open, though, so Ben takes that as an invitation, and he follows as far as his son?s bedroom doorway. ?Goodnight, Adam.? Ben waits for a response for a moment, but Adam is in bed with his back turned to the door, and he doesn?t say anything back, so Ben leaves him to sulk, stepping back from the doorway and shutting the door, leaving it cracked just a little. He makes it a couple steps down the hall before he hears, ?Dad??
Ben does an aboutface, opens the door enough to see into the room. ?Yeah??
Adam?s still in bed, but facing the door now. ?Are things getting worse instead of better?? Ben feels like all the air?s been knocked out of him, and he can?t formulate a response before his son follows with, ?I mean, with you being sick. Is it bad again?? Adam doesn?t sound scared. That isn?t why he?s asking. But he sounds concerned, worried, and that breaks Ben?s heart a little.
Ben doesn?t answer right away -- can?t answer, really -- but he moves into the room, shuts the door most of the way behind him (though the only other person in the house is Jackie, and even if she happened upon the conversation, it wasn?t anything she didn?t already know about), and sits on the edge of Adam?s bed. He feels old, suddenly, and he keeps his hands folded in front of him, keeps his focus there. Avoidant of his own too-perceptive son. ?Yeah.? Letting out a sigh after the one word answer, and then he distracts himself unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up to his elbows, slowly, meticulous about it, even though he normally wouldn?t be. ?Yeah, it?s been bad lately, kiddo.?
?I thought you were getting better.? It isn't accusatory or betrayed -- again, just worried, maybe a little frustrated. He's tracing the lines in the plaid pattern of his bedsheets -- it's a fidgety little thing that an anxious Ben might do, too.
Ben bites his lip, uncertain of what to tell his son. He doesn't want to lie, but he doesn't want to let him know just how bad things are, either. After a long pause, "You trust me?" He turns enough to make eye contact with his son, brows lifted a little. Somehow, he manages not to look too pained -- not to let on that he's afraid to know the answer.
Adam studies his father's face for a moment, then nods, only once, but firmly, decisive. Ben can feel some of the tension in his shoulders disappear.
?Okay. Then... you need to trust me when I say that sometimes, things get worse before they get better.? Adam frowns, his brows knitting, and Ben isn?t really sure why -- but then his son reaches over, grabs Ben?s forearm, pulls on it a little. He?s seen the scars before -- Ben doesn?t make much effort to hide them -- but he?s never mentioned them, even though he must know Ben didn?t have them in the summer, before he disappeared from Vancouver. ?But they are getting better. It?s just not going to be easy. It helps that you?re here, though,? and Adam lets go of Ben?s arm, looks up at his face; at least he?s smiling a little.
?Really??
?Yeah, kiddo.? Adam?s probably too old for it, but Ben leans over to brush a kiss to Adam?s hair anyway; Adam lets him do it, but he makes a face and sort of huffs, which Ben ignores. ?Really. I feel a lot better just from you being here.?
Any sulking from Adam disappears; he just looks happy to hear it. Ben wonders, fleetingly, how much longer he has with his son like this, this kind of simplicity and innocence. He could never tell him, but his son?s resilience in the face of all he?s gone through because of Ben might be the thing that inspires him the most.
?Good night, Dad.?
?Night, Adam.? Ben gives him one more smile, tousles his son?s hair, and then gets up and leaves the room, shutting the door most of the way before heading back downstairs to the living room, where he assumes he?ll find Jackie with the movie cued up and ready to go.