Topic: October 10th: If You're a Bird

Ben Sullivan

Date: 2014-01-24 01:20 EST
October 10th, 2013 -- evening

Ben getting an early jump on the day wasn't anything for Jackie to be concerned about, but it wasn't exactly standard for him lately (he tended, these days, to linger a little later in the morning and eat breakfast with Jackie and Adam before leaving for the office), and could've tipped her off that something might be up. Either way, the note he left folded on the dashboard of her truck should give it away:
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Working late tonight, but how about I make it up to you with a movie night, birdy? I already picked one out, I think you'll like it.
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I left something for you to wear on my dresser. Meet you on the couch at 10. Love you.
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When Jackie eventually checks for what he'd left out for her to wear, it's maybe not what she'd expected -- not lingerie or anything even overtly suggestive -- in fact, it's his clothing, a worn soft-and-thin heathered grey tee and a pair of flannel pajama pants. Nothing that would've raised an eyebrow if she'd noticed it this morning.

Ben rising before Jackie was a standard thing, even if he did take his time these days to eat with the family. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to her when she got Adam off to school, did the dishes from breakfast, or got dressed so she could go run her errands for the day.

It's only when she read the note that she got her first clue but it didn't tell her much. The moment her thoughts would settle on one idea something would sway her and send her guess about what he could have in store for them bouncing in another direction. That's how majority of her day in the market went.

Eventually she makes it home and drops her bags off in the kitchen without even unloading them so she can see what he put out. Something pink and lacy? Or was it going to be black with just a bit of bite to it? It's when she finds his clothing, his worn pajamas, that it finally clicks for her and it puts her anticipation for the evening to the edge.

The rest of the day ticked by at a turtle's pace because she was so excited but she did what she had to. Adam was fed, completed his homework, and promptly banished himself to his room for video games before falling asleep. Jackie had taken to checking on him at night the same that Ben did.

Once Jackie was positive he was out she slipped into the pajamas left out for her and when Ben got home she was in the kitchen. After he gets settled she made her way out to the couch, a bowl of fresh air popped popcorn held against the bulge of her belly beneath the grey tee.

True to his word, he's home just before ten, and he's already in the process of getting comfortable, ditching his shoes by the door, pulling off his jacket to throw over the back of the couch once he's close enough, loosening his tie. He doesn't hesitate to take a seat next to her.

"I wouldn't have bought all that maternity lingerie if I would had known this is where your tastes lie, Mr. Sullivan." Sinking into the couch cushion beside him and leaning up to display puckered lips urging for a kiss.

Just like before -- one year ago, exactly -- the sight of her wearing his clothes gets him going a little, hooks him well enough that he can't help but stare for a few heartbeats. It's different, too -- the swell of her belly. The security they have in each other. That night a year ago had been important, Ben's sure of it, but look at how everything had come together in the year since.

He watches her make her way over to him, but her comment breaks him out of his mild daze, the obvious display of his infatuation, and he smiles into the soft kiss he presses to her mouth, taking her chin in his fingers to hold her there for it. "We've still got a few months to put all that lingerie to good use. This isn't an indicator of my general tastes," except it was, some nights. Not that he didn't enjoy her in black lacy nothings and heels, but there was just something about her in his own clothes that always did him in.

"Adam sleeping?" He puts an arm around Jackie's shoulders, grabs the remote so he can turn the TV on and start the movie. Once that's done, his free hand is working at loosening the knot of his tie even further.

Even when he pulls away from the kiss her lips are still gently pursed, held in place by the soft urging of his fingers. "Oh, please. With the Sullivan army in the works that lingerie will be gettin' some use out of it for years to come." Lips spread into a content smile and she dips her chin to land a stray kiss to his hand.

"Yes he is. Homework is done and I already checked on him before you got home. Did you want to check again?" Nothing rude or teasing in her tone, she understood the ritual. That doesn't stop her from settling into place against his arm, resting the popcorn on her lap so her hand closest to him can reach aside and help with the loosening of the tie. "Well, if we're dressin' each other up in the clothes that make our hearts skip a beat I might just have you leave the tie on." Giving the knot of fabric a playful tug and she shot a sly smile his way.

"I like the sound of that, years to come. May as well get your money's worth, right?" The grin he gives her is sly, but it softens some when her lips brush his hand. His expression changes yet again when she asks if he wants to go check on Adam. The answer, of course, is yes, but after a moment of biting his lower lip while she settles in against his arm and shoos his hand away to get at his tie, he shrugs, just slightly. "No, that's alright. If you checked on him, I'm sure he's fine." Had to get out of the compulsive habit someday. Tonight was as good a night as any to start.

His own grin matches hers when she pulls on his tie, though it's more crooked, devilish. "Alright, leave it on, then. Maybe if you're distracted enough by it, you won't end up crying at the end." He knows that isn't likely, but he settles in to watch the movie anyway, letting her do whatever she likes when it comes to the tie.

She looks equally surprised and impressed when he says he doesn't have to check on Adam. Aside from the fleeting look she tries to not linger on it too long, to take it for the gigantic step that it is and move on so he doesn't let it gnaw at the back of his mind. He knows it's unlikely for her to not cry and she's woman enough to admit it. "I won't cry at The Notebook when you'll pass by a hockey game on TV in favor for somethin' else. In other words, not going to happen."

He's seen the movie a handful of times already with Jackie, but this time around, all those lines that seemed to apply directly to the two of them, the ones that had hit so hard a year ago -- those draw his attention more than usual tonight. Doesn't really look at Jackie during the movie, but at those parts, the lines she'd always mouth along with, his fingers drew idle shapes along the bare skin of her arm, or his hold on her shifted so he could tangle his fingers in her hair. By the end of it, he's ready, as always, to gather her up into a hug when she starts to really cry, if she ends up getting to that point.

The tie is loosened a bit more but it's left in place, fingers finding it and absently toying with the fabric now and then throughout the movie even though she's completely enraptured for the most part as always. It doesn't matter how many times she's seen this film, she happily mouths the words to herself until it comes to the very end which always guarantees water works. With her shifting throughout the movie she ended with the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table so she's free to drape her legs over his lap and her arm around his shoulder, fingers of her other hand tangling in the fabric of his shirt at his chest. She cries openly, laughing at the same time. "This stupid movie." It's always stupid by the end.

"It is stupid," and he always agrees. "Really stupid." Slowly dragging his fingers through her hair, his other arm around her waist. He presses a lingering kiss to her forehead, then rests his cheek against the spot, closing his eyes. Jackie may have been laughing, and maybe Ben had been, too, subdued, but he was all seriousness when he asked his question, voice low enough that a hint of that gravel crept into it. "When did you know?" And after a little pause, "That that was us."

Ben Sullivan

Date: 2014-01-24 01:21 EST
"So stupid." It was like a script between them, perfectly performed each and every time the credits would roll. Deep breaths are taken to settle herself, fingertips lifting to dab at the corners of her eyes while she put herself back together. They were settling into something much more quiet but she still hadn't been expecting that question from him. Not now, a year later to the day.

She hesitates then eases her head back so she can look at him. Lips pursing and working themselves together thoughtfully. "Towards the end of the movie, but who wants to admit their romantic woes sound like somethin' out of a movie script?" A soft smile curls at her mouth. "How he stuck with her the entire time. Even when she was being indecisive and didn't know what she wanted. Givin' him a headache. You said he was crazy about her, so what else could he do? Says the guy who loaned out his pajamas to a girl who caused a world of trouble for him while tryin' to do good in her eyes. Held her when she cried over a movie and fell asleep with her on the couch without question 'cause she wanted to."

When she pulls back enough to see his face, he disentangles his hand from her hair, lays it gently against her cheek, thumb stroking against her skin. Her soft smile gets a tiny crooked one from him, too. "I really was crazy about you. I still am. --and you still give me headaches," teasing, and his smile goes a bit more lopsided before it softens. "What else could I have done? Told you to leave? To go home?" Shaking his head, because the idea never crossed his mind that night. "You weren't the only one that wanted to fall asleep together that night. Obviously." Another little quirk of a smile, one that's hidden briefly when he leans in close to press a kiss to her mouth. "I never thought that we would end up like this, though -- not this quickly, anyway. A year from then, and our life is like this?" He does glance quickly around the room to indicate the new level of luxury they'd just moved into -- but then he drops his hand from her cheek and settles it on her still growing belly. "Kind of makes you wonder what the next year holds for us, doesn't it, birdy?"

"The headaches I cause you are fun." Informing him helpfully since he seems to be unaware or had briefly forgotten. To his questions she initially shrugs. "You could have decided I wasn't worth the trouble and that I was too confusin' to be around. I wasn't tryin' to test you or play games, but you could have thought I was and washed your hands of it." Even though it's all hypothetical there's still a flicker of a frown that vanishes beneath the press of his lips. "But I'm thankful everyday that you didn't."

He's looking around the room and she's looking down at her stomach, smiling when his hand settles on it. "Can you imagine if a year ago while I was wearin' that leather vest someone would have said, give it three-hundred and sixty-five days and you'll look like you're smugglin' a basketball under your dress." Lips purse at his proposed pondering. "Considerin' all the leaps and bounds we've taken in a year... if we keep going at this pace I don't know where we could keep going from there. Things are so different now." Smiles. "Yet at the same time, some things have never changed. Like how head over heels I am for you. How you still know all the right things to say to me." Leaning closer to press a kiss to the edge of his lips.

"Oh, right, they're fun headaches." Amused, and he lets it show in the hint of a smile. It fades as she continues, and after the kiss he shakes his head a little. "I couldn't have. I mean... you were confusing. It was hard to be around you sometimes. But I don't think I could've just given up. You got me, right? From the beginning. No matter how confusing it was and how..." Trailing off, a faint knit of his brows together before he redirects and smiles instead. "And I'm thankful you gave in and gave this another chance."

Stifling a little laughter at her basketball comment, he shifts to rest both hands against her stomach. "Different, but it's just where we've always needed to be. This is what's right for us, sweets. This house, our family... How crazy I am for you, still..." His voice drops to a murmur, and he leans in closer to kiss her, pausing with his forehead pressed to hers, mouth just a millimeter away. "What to say? What, like you're beautiful and I--" Cutting off suddenly, he pulls back -- keeps his hands where they are, though, and he's grinning ear to ear, dropping his gaze to his hands on her stomach. "That was her, yeah?" Ben's usually so even keeled, but the look on his face is near-giddy when he glances back up to Jackie.

"Hard to be around?" She couldn't say he's wrong but it doesn't stop her bottom lip from popping in a pout that fades just as quickly when he continues on. "You got me, sweetheart. From the first day." Nodding along with him. "I couldn't give up on us either. Somethin' always kept bringing me back to you and I couldn't ignore that."

She sinks herself further against the couch cushions when he presses both hands to her stomach, happy to be comfortable and get some attention for her ever expanding belly. "Oh, I know. No one can say a word about our life. We got our ups and downs, but I think we're doin' pretty damn good for two people who don't know what they're doing." Grinning beneath the kiss, staying close when he speaks. Jackie assumed they were going to stay that way so when he backs up from her she's surprised, but confused when he's grinning. It takes her a moment to realize what he's talking about but she looks down at her stomach with a nod. "She woke up when I started shiftin' aroun-" A blink and the next words come out as a squeal of delight that she muffles too late with her hand remembering Adam is just upstairs. "You can feel her kickin'?" Sitting up just a little straighter then going still waiting to see if Ben could feel it again.

Under different circumstances, he might've played offended at her assertion that they don't know what they're doing -- but, understandably, he's distracted away from playing that game right now. He can't help but laugh when she squeals, though at least he's quiet about it. "Yeah, I ca-- oh." Cutting off with a surprised sound, eyes widening again before he drops his focus, mouth twitching up into a grin. "You really don't like it when Daddy tries to romance your mama, do you?" The smile doesn't fade when his gaze settles on Jackie's face again; he lifts one hand to take her chin in his fingers. "Not that that'll stop me. But yeah, sweets--" Tipping his head to kiss her, and when he breaks the kiss, both hands are on her cheeks. "I can feel her. Our little girl." Pausing to smudge a kiss to her forehead. "...you're feeling better about all this now, aren't you? You seem like you are."

She perks when he says 'oh', briefly worried something is wrong but Ben cracks his joke and it's with another exhale of laughter that she's draping herself against the couch cushions, beaming rather proudly over their little bundle and the fact that Ben can share in the kicks and commotion now. She presses into the kiss, sighing when he breaks away. "Our Lily." Her head rolls aside to rest against the back of the couch, hands folding over the top of her belly so she's not in Ben's way should he want to investigate Lily's kicking more.

"Meeting Lily made me feel a lot better. I know that she isn't a guarantee for what our Lily is goin' to be like, but obviously somewhere out there we know what in the hell we're doing," despite her previous joke. "So why not us here, too?" A small shrug. "I've got my good days and my bad days still. Those bad days won't go away, even after she's born, I'm sure. But I think that's normal when you've got someone's life in your hands. All I can do is my best and pray it's enough."

One hand does drop to Jackie's stomach again, but he shifts to face her, his other arm slipping around her shoulders. Idly, he's toying his fingers through her hair -- he pauses every time he feels the little flutter of movement beneath his other hand, though, and he can't stop the grin now that it's started, though it's at least tempered some by what Jackie's saying. "Well... I'm glad that made you feel better. We're gonna figure it out together, sweetheart. Lily's going to grow up to be amazing -- you saw it yourself. So will our other kids. We'll make mistakes, I'm sure, but everything will turn out alright." Listing in to ghost a kiss to her cheek. "It all has so far, don't you think?"

The glutton for attention that she is she eats it all up, even if she's sharing the affection with Lily. She has gotten much better at that. "I know we'll have time to figure it out, sweetheart. I know there will be mistakes, I only worry about what mistakes there will be. The worryin' is normal, right? I'm sure you worried before Adam was born. Worryin' is not weird." It went from asking him to telling him, the faintest pucker between her brows that smooths out following his kiss. "Yes, things have worked out. That's an understatement, really. Things are wonderful." But it doesn't stop those nagging feelings at the back of her head but she decides to not voice that, doesn't want to talk about it anymore. She's happy to remain in her curled position wrapped within his arm with his hand on her belly. It's much more enjoyable to focus on.

"The worrying can be normal... as long as it's a normal amount, about normal things." Of course, Ben knows it's sort of hypocritical for him to be lecturing about what's normal to worry about -- he'd managed to push past the anxiety of not checking on Adam when he got home, but now the urge to is back again -- though with a flicker of a frown, he pushes those thoughts aside. "It is an understatement," voice quiet, sort of soft, he just leans his head against hers, lets her get comfortable against him. "It's not possible for life to be perfect, but this is as close to it as I ever dreamed it could get. Adam's here, I'm starting a family with a beautiful wife -- beautiful home, my own business... --did I mention the beautiful wife part yet?" Sweet talker -- and joking would help him get past his little lapse into anxiety, too. His fingers curl lightly into the fabric of the grey tee when he feels another subtle movement beneath his hand. "...just wait until she starts punching you in the ribs. Unless she already has?"

"I worry a normal amount." It takes no amount of thought from her, no hesitation. It doesn't matter how much or little she worries to herself on a daily basis, no matter what she would declare it to be a normal amount. The light edge to her tone melts when his voice softens. Listening idly to his explanation of their near perfect life, chuckling when he mentions his beautiful wife twice. "I might have heard rumor that you have the most amazing, brilliant, and beautiful wife in town. I think it was in the RhyDin Post."

She goes still again, happy to let her body become heavy after the drain of the emotional movie, the excitement, and the little bites from the conversation about her ever nagging thoughts. "She has gotten in a few lil' hits here and there, but nothing that compares to her Mama just yet. I'm sure she'll get me sooner than later." Rolling her head to smile at him. "This was a nice surprise, sweetheart. All of it, the parts you planned and the parts you didn't." Rubbing at her belly. "Last year we didn't know where we stood with one another and today, well, you got to feel your baby girl kick for the first time." Brows rise questioningly with a smile. "How are you going to top this next year?"

"I've heard that rumour too. It's true. --well, I'm pretty sure it's true. Maybe I need a reminder on the amazing part..." The look he gives her is sly, but changes to an easy smile, one that comes with a quiet chuckle. He leans his head against hers, but when she turns to smile at him, he rights it again. "I've been slacking on the surprises lately. I owed you a nice one." Even without the other things he had going on -- work, being haunted, his own issues -- he really wanted to spoil her for the last few months of her pregnancy. "And it was nice for Lily to get in on the fun, too." Thoughtful when she asks how he'll top it next year. "Vacation somewhere? We'll have to see. I gotta admit, this is going to be hard to top, even for me."

"A reminder? I'm smart enough to know you're proddin' me into action yet bullheaded enough to full accept that challenge, sweetheart." A gentle scoff and shake of her head. "I don't think you can use the term slackin' to describe anything you've been doing lately. It doesn't fit at all, but you know I won't turn down a surprise." Chuckling she peered down at her belly, rubbing it lovingly. "Daddy and daughter plottin' and plannin' already. I'm in trouble." Lifting her gaze up to his face. "Hard to top, but I got faith in you. And you've got another year to figure somethin' out."