Topic: Butterflies and blood

Ewan Corinsson

Date: 2012-03-24 13:55 EST
And then it was not like Kellan's birth at all. Ewan saw the look on the midwife's face change as she felt along the side of Storm's swollen belly. As customary as he was to being around blood, he knew without any doubt or questioning that it was too much.

Still he was helpless as he had been the duration of the labor. It was not his world's custom to have the husband present during a birth. Backward some may have thought, but how many souls want to stand there and see someone they love in agony with no remedy to hand? Still, Storm had wanted him there, as she had wanted him there before, and he was.

Until that moment. "I need to call in aid, and it would be best if you left the room now."

Room for them to move and act without constantly going around him or dealing with his anxious looks as Storm went ashen. There was nothing to be said. The people caring for his wife and child knew their role and the importance of the two people to him. No threats or promises need to be spoken. Ewan simply nodded and gave Storm's limp hand one more squeeze before stepping swiftly out of the room as he sensed more than saw the arrival of other Elementals.

The wait outside was a maze of tolerable and intolerable. Whichever way his mind turned in thoughts his emotions followed in a torrent. Of course it would take, he considered, but he would hear things were well soon. At the next moment, he was convinced it was taking too long. The boards of their hallway were holding up rather well for his constant striding.

Then the door opened and the midwife exited holding a still bundle wrapped snug in its blanket.

"The baby did not cry." It was all Ewan could think to say as the woman crossed those few steps to him.

"Nay, she did not," she seemed as puzzled by that as Ewan, and yet the frown turned to a smile, "but she's a well and contented little thing with the sweetest dimples ever seen."

A girl. Their little girl. Ewan collected the little snoozing bundle close to his chest, his arms as safe and sure for the treasure as a tree.

"I need to return." The midwife was smiling even if abrupt in her turn. Her step through the doors showed a hurried scene and soft words as the others worked on Storm.

Ewan would not let him get trapped in the maze of doubt and uncertainty again though it swept and swirled in the back of his mind. He looked down at the wrinkled forehead and blue-lidded, closed eyes of his daughter and smiled. "Mama will hold you soon, little love." A promise to himself and to her. "Welcome home."

Storm Divine

Date: 2012-03-26 13:50 EST
They had assured him that a short visitation would not only cause no harm, but would do some good. For Storm, for the small, mildly discontented girl swaddled in his arms, and for himself. Perhaps it had been in his eyes -- the anxiety. He knew that their daughter was feeling some of it, no matter how he tried to play the role of at ease and certain of a good outcome. It had not been certain until they came out of the room with smiles and nods. Now, Ewan carried the little girl in to meet her mother on the outside. "Storm," he whispered as he approached the bed.

It was the gentleness of his voice that roused her from blank, groggy half-slumber. Pain and confusion where bundled within a dense wall of cotton in her consciousness. "Ewan," the next thought pushed her to open her eyes and blink a few times, "Little One?"

Cradling the baby in one arm, he hand reached to brush the edge of his thumb along Storm's brow. He sat on the edge of the bed and released the baby to rest at her mother's side with him as the guard rail in case Storm was still too weak to actually hold. "She is happy to finally meet you." So he interpreted the infant's sigh. "How are you?" It was a question tucked into the knowledge of her recent physical trial.

?Tired, weak." One hand came up to rub her face, but attention to herself was difficult with her new daughter at her side. "The past hours are a bit hazy for my memory." She reached out and picked up the little girl with reserved strength to rest in her arms and on her chest.

"As well they should be. They had to give you something. Did they tell you what happened?" His fingers trailed down the baby's back and across Storm's arm until it returned to rest in his lap.

"I am sure they did." She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, trying to remember, "Something was wrong, and I remember voicing my concern." She studied the baby's face, and felt some of that reserved angst relax. The relief brought on a deep sigh, "And things are better now?" She looked up to Ewan, shifting the baby slightly to free a hand to place it on his leg.

He nodded with more confidence than he felt. There were a few unpleasant words spoken in his mind for the physicians. "There was a problem. A tear and to keep the baby and you safe, they had to cut her free. You are mending and will mend, and we have our family." It was backwards, he realized. A maze of information, but he wanted her to focus on the being well and the birth of their child and not face the rest -- not yet.

"Yes, we do." She smiled then, and squeezed his leg gently, "I am sorry we gave you worry." His brief retelling started to bring the feelings from the memory to surface, and she recognized her own worry. When the little girl made quiet noises however, her attention deviated.
"A little girl, then." Her smile went crooked, "A perfect balance. Have we named her, yet?" It was possible she had said something, but her mind was still blank as she looked down at their new daughter.

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I believe you had settled upon Willow, and I find she fits the name very well. Bends to challenges but does not break. Still fond of the name?"

"Yes. Little Willow Ewansdottir. More quiet than your brothers, hmm?" Though that could have been the difference from her first hours, and Storm's heart ached a little with missing those moments. She adjusted the swaddling just to get a peek of her hair, and she started to chuckle, "Oh." The humor hurt, and she tried to calm her reaction, "She has your hair, beloved."

"Hmm, I will throttle the first that calls her redbird." He teased even if the fierce need to protect her was already seizing him. It was so very different having a little girl, but he realized how at peace he felt now as if she had been a missing piece to his puzzled soul. "Hopefully she will not have the temperament to go with the hair."

She raised a brow and looked over to him, "Oh, and is there something the matter with your temperament?" She gently reached into the swaddling to produce Willow's fingers, taking the time to study each digit.

"I think Gaerwyn would say so after each time he's called me that nickname." A low, soft laugh that left a lingering smile. He watched Storm discover Willow and then whispered. "I should probably check on the boys while Willow dines. She will probably be quite hungry soon."

It was extremely difficult to keep her own laughter at bay. Despite the cloudiness in her mind, she could picture just what Ewan was portraying with clarity. She tucked Willow's limbs gently into the swaddling once more before reaching out for Ewan's hand.

His hand enveloped hers and he lifted it to kiss the back, looking at her. Something needed to be said, but he could see she was fighting the remnants of the medicine to grasp it. "What is it, beloved?"

"I know that when the haze lifts, I may still feel that worry from before. I just want you to be here, when I do." She gave him a soft smile.

He leaned over to brush a kiss to her lips and then the top of the baby's head. "I will be," he promised.

She kissed him gently in return, and it did much to settle to anxiety over the memory she couldn't retain yet. She took a moment to study him while he was near, "How are you feeling?" While he certainly did not have the pains of her body, he had been awake just as long as she, and went through near all the same things.

"I am well. Naught for you to worry. The boys are well, too. Much grinning over Willow. I did not say all that happened, only that you were overtired and would need time. Avery, I suspect, understood more than I said, but Kellan only hoped you would be able to play soon."

"Oh, I think it will take longer than I anticipated to play." She grimaced for a moment before bringing Willow close to her face and brushing the new cheek with her own, "I have had my share of bed rest for a long time."

"And some bed rest yet to come, but not too much longer. Now then, is there something I can get for you?"

She tried to think of her own needs, and met the cloud of haze once more, "I am not sure I could tell you even if I had the need to." She felt Willow begin to wiggle and placed her back in the comfort of her arms, "Perhaps some sleep," she grinned faintly with the thought of steady sleep with a newborn, "will help to clear my mind."

"Mmm, yes, well not to be cruel to you who so surely need it, but a little food for the little one, and I will be back to collect her so you can rest."

"Of course." She glanced around for a moment, wanting to move and knowing she shouldn't. At least on her own, "May I sit up just a little more?"

With one hand to her back, he lifted her slowly up just enough to readjust pillows and help sit her up enough. "There or a little higher?"

It was hard to hide the wince as she felt the new stitches pull, even if it was just a little, "No, no, that is better, thank you." She heard the beginnings of fussing sounds from Willow, "Maybe after Willow is done eating, you can bring the boys in? Even if it is just for a minute?"

"Of course." He agreed and then with another reassuring brush to her shoulder, he stepped to the door to let them mother and daughter have their time. He would prepare a little broth, safe for him to do that, and some tea to bring in with the boys later.

Storm Divine

Date: 2012-04-03 16:46 EST
Ewan had wrestled the boys into bed, almost literally, and Kellan was still giggling some from the shadows of his room. But there was one thing of which he was certain, Kellan would not get out of bed unless it was an emergency. A few nights of stern looks and ignoring his pleading had taught the boy that getting out to play did not win him any points on the happy-daddy side. Giggling was fine, as long as he was still in bed. The sounds of sleep would be following soon enough. Ewan was laughing a little himself as he walked to the bedroom and peaked in on wife and daughter. "Need anything from the pantry, beloved?"

"I am fine for now, thank you." She smiled up at him before looking back down at Willow as she tried to urge her daughter to sleep. It wasn't taking much, after being fed and kept tight and warm. There were subtle differences in Willow's first few days of life compared to Kellan. However, she was thankful that Willow seemed easy to calm when she became fussy or started to cry. For now, Storm hummed just enough for Willow to hear, and rocked her gently in her arms.

A nod and he continued walking inside and over to the start his own simple ritual of preparing for bed. He was tired. More tired than he would like to allude, and so he kept his silence while he finished and sat on the edge of his side of the bed. "Need any pain medication?"

A quick shake of her head, though a pang touched her heart with the whispers of confusion and pain, "No, not yet." She offered him a tired but satisfied smile. It was easy for her to spot the tired lines on his face, but she knew that she had them too, and that it would be some weeks more for them to truly go away. "At least she is easy to put to slumber. Finally, a child that does not try to defeat bedtime."

"Hm," his smile held the richness of a brief laugh. He inhaled slow and deep. "There is a kindness, and good of her to be so accommodating. She is already trying to prove herself as the embodiment that the best is saved for last."

There was a twitch to her brow at his statement. It had taken some time for her mind to remember the news; that there would be no more children. "Yes, I suppose so." Without knowing how she felt on the matter yet, she tucked the baby in close next to her side and between them, "Of course, she will just have to learn that there is no 'best' here."

"But she is the last. Two older brothers. I do wonder," he mused as he stretched out on the bed, lacing fingers behind his head, "as I cannot help but wonder, will she be all ribbons and curls or a tomboy, or something of both? Time will tell."

"Well, I am afraid to say there is not a lot of ribbons and curls here." She surprised herself when her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat when she found that tears were easily welled in her eyes. "I am sorry." She sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

Ewan moved to wrap his arms around her. He said nothing. Anything would be contrite. There is no way he could empathize with her. He had no frame of reference of such a profound and fundamental change. So, for the moment he simply held her as she held Willow.

His swift reaction only urged for more tears to appear, and they started to come down faster than she could wipe them away. Gently, she set Willow down as far as she could reach on the other side of the bed so that she could try to be enveloped fully in Ewan's arms. "It is not that.. she is our last. I was not thinking.. with how difficult things were this time around, that we would have another. It is just.. no choice anymore." She was hoping that talking would keep the crying from turning into sobbing.

He caressed her hair and nodded. "I think we both realized that it would be foolish to try for another, but not having the choice is a loss, a transformation from one part of your life to another for which you were not prepared." And he just kept holding her and stroking her hair. It was right she should grieve, and he was rather sure she would grieve for some days yet.

His attentions helped to relax her moment by moment. She was at least able to reduce the streaming tears to sniffles, "It was worth it. They all are, and I am so relieved that Willow is okay."

"I am glad both of you are well, and that the physicians were able to tend to you. It is a good thing we did not decide to travel to Yransea." That tragedy was a guilt he was glad he did not have to bear. "It will take time, beloved. Do not hide your loss or your grief. You will have joy in these days as well, particularly when our daughter sleeps so prettily with her little rosebud mouth."

"I know." She took a deep breath and wiped her face dry again, "I am not trying to hide it. I just do not want to miss the more joyful moments with any sadness." One hand reached out so a finger could trail on Willow's cheek, "A little girl and a child with your hair. I do not think my heart could have conjured anything better." She looked up at him and tugged on a lock of hair, "Well done."

He kissed her forehead and chuckled. "I did try my best to do my part well." He snuggled up close, and rested the tips of his free hand on Willow's belly, feeling the slight rise and fall of the fragile breaths. "And you have done well and more than, that terribly long confinement has given us a treasure. We have a full chest of treasures."

"So we do." She sighed as he snuggled closer, enjoying his nearness. "The most perfect treasures for us." She rested her head against him, "Each unique in their own way. I am thinking that will just be our trademark."

A nod and soft smile. "Now then, let me get our newest treasure into her bed here," the bassinet was not far at all, but safely next to the bed. He set her gently into the confines of the bassinet next to Storm and then settled down next to his wife again. "You need rest, and I will not pretend I do not."

She chuckled, "Rest. I thought parents were not allowed rest." She gave him a gentle kiss, "But I at least can sleep when Willow does. You need it more than me. Are you sure that you want to sleep in here with us?" She asked the question as she snuggled closer to him.

"Yes, for when it is in my power to do so, I will not be apart from you." And with that, he settled in with a definite air of not budging.

It brought back the feeling of tears again, but instead of crying, she gave a soft sigh. "I always sleep best when you are near." She turned just to kiss the tip of his nose, "Now, time for sleep for you."