Topic: Snap

Devin Archon

Date: 2008-09-19 21:22 EST
The utter silence within an unfamiliar home brought Paola out of her restful slumber. Rubbing her eyes and yawning, her healed shoulder marveled at its regained ability to bend and move as it was created to be. The stretch was wondrous with the dreamy haze that clouded her consciousness. Soon her senses picked up the subtle differences - the silence, the vague rising heat somewhere near and the feel of an Elemental fully using their gift. Curiosity was always given priority, messily tucking in her tunic into pants to make herself barely presentable. Curls that were in every direction were irritably braided down her back as she was already moving to the room Devin had been sleeping in. Carefully keeping her emotions in check, she waited for a moment before knocking on his door. When no reply came, she creaked the door open to find that he was not there. Her face now covered with a frown, she followed the exploding gift with her own, finding herself bobbing out of the house with concealment, eyes quickly drawn to the Elemental near its truest form. Wanting to witness without disturb, she attempted a closer vantage point.

Lost in flames, Devin drove them swirling faster and faster, the motion enough to look entirely uncontrolled until it could be seen that for all the wildness the fire never lashed close to the house or surrounding vegetation. Upwards, into the sky in a display of showy white and gold, before red and orange curled and pummeled down and through his shell. But he couldn't help but feel the stirring of an Air nearby, and there was only one that it was likely to be. The flames vanished, abruptly, cut off into the night, leaving stillness and dark where moments before there had been light and heat and crackling sound. Still the flames lurked in his eyes when he turned to face the house. "Did I wake you?"

It wasn't until moments into her watching that Paola had recognized the owner of the vivid flames. Her discovery brought a deeper meaning in her visual recording, eyes pushing her pupils out and wide in her surprise. For months he closed himself up like a shell, and how ironic for him to nearly be completely out of his own physical one. She knew the moment she was caught, the bright and blinding flames abruptly turning into darkness. It took several blinks to readjust and focus her eyes again on his normal shell. "No, I.." she cleared her throat, finding her voice weaker than she had intended, "I had just woken up, and later sensed a gift in use. When you were not in your bed, I came to see what I could find." She subtly emphasized "his" bed, seeing if he would react.

"And did you find what you were looking for?" He didn't reply to her subtle needle about "his" bed, pulling back and damping down the remnants of Fire that lit his eyes until they were once again almost charcoal black. Only then did he start the short walk back to the house, bare feet almost noiseless on the ground. Shorts for sleeping in - he hadn't bothered to dress before he went outside. "Who else's bed should I be in?" The question came out curt - apparently the needle had stung more than was first apparent. For all the travelling across the Realms he had done lately, the only bed he had slept in had been his own. Flirtations reappeared under the mask of confidence, but had never ventured further.

Her pupils changed in the instant to near all black to now near all of her irises. She did not come out in search for an argument, but his words poked at her anger that had been just waiting for the moment, "No, I did not." She said flatly to his question about her search. She had been looking for Devin, but the man that stood in front of her, who had been her caretaker for the past few months, was someone she did not know. "It would not seem to matter; there are several women that would be offering. And apparently the woman that you do care for is nothing more than some.. *thing* that requires nursing back to health and nothing more." Her anger varied from flashing heat like his to the brittle cold of winter's air. She made no movement to head towards him home, but stood very firmly in place.

Brittle words froze him in place just a few steps past her, the line of his back stiff, rigid with tension. Pride and guilt and fear and self-doubt were an unholy mix to contend with when trying to bite back words not wholly meant. So when he did speak, tight control laced through the phrase. "I'd not take for the offering." When he started walking again, the words were spoken forward, away from Paola. "You're no thing." Palm hit the front door, slamming it open, before he finally half-turned to look back at her with white and orange searing across the coal-black background of his gaze. "I'll keep in mind that my bedspace doesn't matter to you." The words were bitten out, hard and harsh.

"How could it matter when my place is no longer there by your own judgement?" She tossed her hands in the air, exaggerating her frustrated feelings, "I have become nothing more than a responsibility to you. I'm fed, my body is well taken care of, but never have I felt so *empty.* You keep me under your wing and yet I am treated on the same level as every other person you speak with. I do not know what is the matter, when you speak nothing to me." Her hands went to her hips, hurt showing only in the dark centers of her eyes, "If you no longer want or desire me, then be out with it, instead of shunning me out. I have not been able to read your mind for months, anymore." Her voice showed weakness towards the end, a moment she regretted, but she quickly regained her composure. It was not much composure to begin with; her sleeping tunic hastily tucked into pants that were a touch too large, and her curls messily pulled away from her face.

It was almost involuntary, the short laugh pulled from him when she mentioned not wanting her. Cherry-red and gold surfaced to swirl through white-heat and drown black entirely. His words didn't reflect the livid colors of his eyes, but something in her response had burst the dam. "Sharing minds almost killed you. I almost killed you, with that senseless feud. Weeks before you were able to speak again; why would you want to share that again? What is there to say when seeing you almost die still gives me nightmares and I know that I don't have the strength to go through that again? By the Goddess, Paola, why would you want to have anything to do with me?!" His hand had fallen down from the door frame, and now both were fisted by his sides. Sparks crackled and danced before he ruthlessly cut them off.

She watched the colors of his eyes, almost perfecting the code of a language all of their own. Throwing up her own ice mask, his words downed down like an unexpected weight. This, this was the cause of everything? It created her own laugh. "Devin, I knew the consequences of our bonding, and bloody hell, I expected injuries. That you were attacked more so than me happened to be the turn of events. I have never, ever, felt or shown any blame towards you. Why the devil would you bring that upon yourself?" She scowled furiously then, and pointed a shameless finger at him, "You say that you cannot live through your nightmares, but you would rather live without me at all. Damnit, by you placing all the blame on yourself, you are destroying the both of us more than any wound could have done." Her cheeks were high and flushed now, her hand falling limply back to her side, "And do not assume what my feeling are for you without asking. I wouldn't be here if I did not want to be."

Paola

Date: 2008-09-20 10:56 EST
"I'd rather live without you than see you come so close to death again." His voice came low, making clear the source of his fear - nightmares were only a side effect. Black surfaced and fought against cherry-red only to fail and vanish. It took several moments before he held out a hand to her in a gesture that didn't come with words. Those came slower, softer. "Do you want to be? Still?"

She stared at his offering hand for a full minute. The ice mask was still overruling, and so her thoughts were carefully concealed behind it. Was this what she truly wanted? Or more so the question; what he wanted? How could she trust him to not repeat the shunning offense. "I will not keep playing this game, Devin. I want you to stick through my side always or do not be by it at all." There, her feelings were out, bare and on display for him to take or destroy. The sharp inhale was the only hint of her nervousness.

When she stared at his hand for so long without taking, he let it fall. Black swelled and drowned the red-orange light that had flared so briefly. Ice mask cut and froze him, and that inhale after the blunt words wasn't enough to betray to him the nerves that were the source of her mask. He took the words as rejection rather than offer, rejection that stung and burned against the raw uncertainty he had fought to reach out. Wordless, he nodded and turned back towards the house with back held straight and rigid with tension.

She hated to see the warm colors leave his eyes, but she needed to express her truth. She didn't want him to step back every time something was hard, or became difficult. However, she was not prepared at all for him to turn away. She was so certain that he would pour out his feelings for her, and instead he turned away inside without even looking back. It amazed her that a sob did not rip through her throat, though her entire facade crumbled and feel with anxiety. She wasn't worth it.

Obviously with that, she thought he wouldn't want her back in his house or under his care. Her heart wanted to run to the home she knew, but her mind left her in place, stunned, dumbfounded, and her heart crushed on his path.

Misunderstanding and pride are the banes of a fragile relationship. He paused again at the doorway, with forearms lifted and braced against either side of the frame and his hands knotted into fists. Such control he was using not to break, not to let his own mask slip and loose the raging fires. Sparks lit and fell to die half-way to the ground while he spoke without turning around, voice caught tight in his throat. "It's late for you to go home tonight. I'll help you move your things back in the morning."

"No," her words were quick, almost too quick for their meaning to only be to his suggestion, "if you.. you do not.." Her lack of words only added to her crestfallen expression and embarrassed her, "If you do not want me here, then it would be best if I just... leave, now." She thought why would I want to suffer more? and instead said, "I am not your burden any longer. I will come for my things in the morning." Her eyes filling with tears now, she cast her eyes to the ground just inches from her feet.

Voice caught and the sparks flared brighter before abruptly dampening entirely away. Finally he nodded again, jerky motion. Black hair spilled forward over his shoulders when he bent forward, not a slump, but held from it only by force of will. Fists tightened again, and then one slammed into the wood frame. Flames licked and flared, then once again vanished, pulled back into hard control. When he found words again, they came out barely audible. "You've never been a burden." Or unwanted. The last half of the thought flickered through his mind, but he wouldn't risk what pride he had left being spurned again

She watched his control slip on his anger, marveling the self control that he held so tightly. She said nothing, and did not put the ice mask back on. She had said that she was tired of his games, and so she would neither play hers. "Then what was I to you? If I am not worth standing next to... " she shrugged without looking back up to him. Needing to do something with her hands, she brought her braided hair forward and began to meticulously undo her sloppy work.

Paola

Date: 2008-09-21 01:22 EST
There were only so many kinds of control he could hold at once. To keep from loosing Fire entirely, he had to sacrifice the mask of smooth-speaking confidence. His voice came out raw, cut harshly. ?You shouldn?t ask if you don?t want the answer.? Devin couldn?t turn, couldn?t face her. Couldn?t watch while she walked away, wouldn?t risk the salted wounds if he looked she still had that cold look of disdain on her face. She was worth standing next to, but he wasn?t worth the standing.

She watched the way he seemed to avoid looking at her, and winced slightly. "I do not ask unwanted questions." Her voice went soft, her mind preparing itself for the worst. Surely it could not be anything good if he had no desire to even glance over to her. "I would like to know." Curly hair loose, she cupped her hands to brush all of her hair away from her face while she watched him. She would memorize every detail of his answer to avoid any misinterpretations.

Hands bruised by slamming the doorframe fell to his side, and he took a deep breath in. It took more courage to turn than it had to confront Xavier. Finally, slowly, he faced her. His expression was as bleak as his voice. ?You were someone I wanted to live up to and failed. You were someone I wanted to protect and failed.? Inhale was ragged when his voice caught in his throat before he could continue. ?You are someone I love, and failed. It?s not? You?re worth standing next to. I?m not worth being there.? He wasn?t looking at her, not exactly. Ravaged expression and black-pit eyes were focused inward, directed to one side.

Her lips parted in surprise; nothing he had said was expected. Her first reaction was to break down into tears, to know that his feelings were real and were never a false pretense. A second wave of emotions hit her, this one more prominent. "You failed at nothing!" Her eyes wide again, she approached him, walking towards the doorframe and coming very close to his form. "I am here and well before you. I-" She laughed then, a loud, incredible laugh, "Devin, I thought life was only about what I could know, what I could read, what I could discover. Don't you understand what you've done for me?" She even reached out, and gave him a gentle shake. "You twisted everything I knew, and shined light on my darkness. How dare you suggest that I would want to go back to a life with only books to comfort me. If I want you to be at my side, then that is where you deserve to be."

Eyes went wide and flicker-flared with gold and orange in sheer surprise at the combination of words and touch. From looking away, he looked at her directly with the shock plain on his face. He?d been bracing for further rejection, for dismissal and departure. ?I ? but ? .? Stammer that cut off, when he realized he had no words to answer. After long moments he lifted his hands, touched her cheek lightly, and a smile touched one side of his mouth. ?Truth?? He was asking for reassurance, not questioning her honesty, and there was something in his tone to make that plain.

Seeing the change in his eyes gave her relief before he spoke any words. She did not mind the wait for his words, every muscle and nerve anticipating something. His hand might as well have been silk against her cheeks with the way her body relaxed to the familiar comfort. "Always the truth." She was looking to his eyes now, her mind buzzing for a way to explain the complexity of her emotions. She found only one simple, whispered statement, "I love you."