01-08

Went back home today. Things seem to be truly back in order again. Father asked to me check over the training fields, and that the magic was still balanced. I was surprised to see a handful of Airs training as they should. Not for battling purposes, but simply for the knowledge to fend for themselves. The magic was a bit off, all elements were not equal as they should, which was a bit surprising. Fire was the one with the advantage. Huh, that doesn't happen.. ever. So I had to fix that, which was much more difficult than expected.

Stopped by the Inn later this evening. It wasn't very crowded, and the only ones I knew were Lydia and Grem, and they were a bit busy. But it was nice to enjoy a glass of wine in my own silence. I do not always have to be around people in order to enjoy myself. Though it does concern me a bit how little I know about majority of the people in Rhy'Din. That is something that I need to be working on.

Just when I was about to leave, Ryn came into the Inn, looking extremely tired. It was very awkward, I've never seen him tired before. He said that because the rebellion is almost under control, that his presence wasn't needed anymore, and that he was going back to sleep. I vowed that I would find a way to wake him up, it isn't fair. He is the only family I have here in Rhy'Din, and now he's going to be sleeping for who knows how long. And Adrienne.. she doesn't know yet. He said something about a bell over and over before he fell asleep. I have to take his sleeping body home... I hope I find Adrienne before she finds him like that...

01-15

A few days ago, I ran into Vanar again. I didn't get a chance to tell him much, because shortly following him was Adrienne. I was glad to finally run into her, but then I had to tell her the grave news. Vanar helped me calm her down as I explained that Ryn had fallen back asleep, and we were not sure if we should wake him or not. She was extremely upset and heartbroken, demanding that we needed to do whatever it takes in order to awaken him.

Vanar explained that he had the right equipment to wake him up, but again, he warned against it. Adrienne, really made the ultimate decision to wake him up, though I doubt anything could have changed her mind. So Vanar gave us the bells and left. Adrienne was the one to rang them, and not a few moments later Ryn appeared. Adrienne ran to him, and before I could get a word in, the Nexus took them 'in bliss' as Ewan thought. I am very glad to have him back, though I haven't been able to say a word to him.

Janet has returned from the Outlands, and is seeking my help from me. Her brother and his family has been kidnapped, and she wants me to meet a friend of hers who can warp time, and for me to overhear whatever happened. I do not know how I feel about this. I have no problem helping Janet, she has been a good friend of mine for a very long time, but I'm not too sure about the 'going back in time' business. Somethings should not be messed around with.

01-19

Tonight, there was a ball hosted inside of the Inn. Posters were shown the day of, one just in front of the cottage. I was glad that there was one that I could find, otherwise I would have attending without even knowing. I decided to wear the purple dress that Lydia made me. I think that it was the first time that I have worn a dress since the Halloween Ball. Dresses are never acceptable for an Air to wear, I am glad to have a few days of the year to wear one.

I came, perhaps a bit early to catch Erin, Des and Wyh just finishing the decorations. It really was quite lovely. I sat with Erin and Bastian for a while, enjoying my spiced wine, since I hardly ever indulge in such things.

It wasn't long before Ewan stopped in.. the uninformed Ewan. He came by, commented on my dress, and that it should be red. Wished us all a good evening and left. While that was a bit odd for him, my attention was turned towards the ever-so-excited Erin. But soon she went behind the bar, and Gideon came by. He still bothers her so, I couldn't help but keep an eye out for her.

Then Ewan came again, this time more appropriately dress. Though my attention wasn't completely on him, I'll admit to keeping an ear open for him. He tossed remarks between Kitty, which wasn't unusual, and then became interested in a woman I have never seen before. During this I moved to a table and sat away from the noise of the bar. Sometimes... I miss living in the Temple. Not only was there people everywhere, but they were friends and family, never was someone alone. When she first came to Rhy'Din, she craved her time alone at the Inn, simply to watch. Now... it didn't have the same affect. Especially at a ball. But I guess I was planning to be the, image of a lone woman at a ball, in a dress with a glass of wine. Perhaps I wasn't going to stay very long, but it is the point that I don't need people.

And then Ewan took a seat at an empty table. I wondered why he wouldn't join me, I always join him, but... perhaps he is getting sick of my company. But, not wanting to be alone at a ball, I stood up, and as always, went to join him. He smiled as always, and allowed me to join him. We started discussing Evening Balls back at home, and how is it custom to have music and dancing, though neither of those were going on at the time. So then this type of music was beginning to play, and neither Ewan nor I had really heard of it, much less danced to it.

He then made a comment of that he hoped that music that I could dance would come up, it would be a shame to just sit in my dress. I retorted with saying that I wouldn't have a dance partner anyways, and he asked that if I would dance with him if the music was appropriate. After more random discussion of Balls back at home, Ewan decides that we needed to dance before he left. Since we do not have names for dances back at home, I suggested something upbeat, and that I would catch along quick. A country dance it was, and it was one of the best dances I have ever participated in. He was light, and quick on his feet, attention complete to what his body was doing, very similar to how an Air dances. There were twirls and lifts everywhere, and very much like home. Just at the end, I gave him a taste of our dances, and I lifted us up into the air. Regretfully, he had to change before he attended his duties.

All in all, it was near perfect - the solitude away from home, and a great dance with a great man. There should be more of him.

01-29

Went to a Conference the past couple of days, things went really well. We are finally going to start working together, the way the Goddess created us to do.

Ran into Ewan and Kitty in the Inn, had our usual random conversations. I love the company of each. From pickles.. to trying jalapenos. They really were quite good, though it seemed as though Ewan was trying to play a joke on me.

I think it is a sign of a good friendship.

Janet hasn't come back yet. It is just a matter of time before she approaches me.

02-06

He was in the Inn today. I saw him.

I wanted to do nothing more than to run and hide, and by the expression on his face; he wanted to do the same thing. We exchanged many words, some hurtful in anger.. and some hurtful because of past relationships. He clearly came back for me... but... is that what I really want?

I ignored my upbringing... gave him much more of me than I should have. So much for guarding my heart, right? My father did know... my community of Airs didn't know... it was my own little secret. I was so swept away with what it felt like to be loved again, to have someone have eyes for only you...

We have agreed to start from the beginning again. Starting this time with honestly. I promised him nothing, and I can't. Right now, I have nothing but a gut feeling that we are too different for this to work again. I have... 'rules' as Janet loves to say. I will not ignore them this time around.

Erin was there for me when we parted. I was so thankful for her presence, and the tea. The small things she does. Even when my words were thoughtless and foolish, she still smiled and offered support. I will do something in gratitude.. she even offered to stay with me. I am so grateful for her, dispite our differences. I think, that's why she is such a good friend to me.

I was able to speak to Ewan as well. It was wonderful, to have friends to be there for me. It was almost like home... my real home. He was a wonderful set of ears as we discussed.. well, I told him the major portions of the story. The shame and all. He seemed quite understanding of it all, and offered wonderful advice. I cannot be afraid to hurt him, if what I offer is honesty. He is right of course... but I do not want to hurt Juri. Even though he did it to me... it isn't right.

I didn't have the heart to offer other explinations of why the timing is poor. There are some things.. that the heart betrays us in. I think it is time to hold onto it for now, regardless of whatever I might feel for anyone. It is nothing but trouble.

02-10

Things have been good. I haven't seen Juri the past few days.. and perhaps it is for the best. Ewan has remained to be great company. I have let him in briefly on Vanion.. and the Keys.. some one has to know if I do not remain safe.

It's almost time.. I can feel it.. whatever it is.. it will not be good.

03-07

Things are... better?

Talked to Ewan more about the Event.. and wounds.. and... other things. At least it's out there.. the rest well, we'll have to wait and see, won't we?

The meeting with the Earths... did not go according to plan. It was only Jeremiah, of all of them, it had to be him. There is a situation in Lladrana, and Lukas volunteered for me to go. I could not back down.. but I certainly do not want to go. I have no choice, if I need to continue to be the Guardian I was asked to be.

And Assadar.. I need to.. speak with him when I return..

And rebuild my home....

And go back to the Old Temple District...

I cannot let myself become weak like last time.. I will not.... so much at risk already.. can I honestly risk it all?

Have to wait and see.

03-12

He got away again. I was so close.. if only I was healed. Stronger. If only I was not so foolish, none of this nonsense would have started. He left a box... an empty one. I do not know what to do with it yet.

I gave the Stone of Light to Ewan. Without going into great detail, I told him the stone's purpose. I trust him with it, and... it's not like he can really use if for his own needs.

He taught me how to bring someone unconscious, and possibly kill them with cutting the blood flow to their brain. Fascinating really, as I have always been told to go for the windpipe. This is more for efficient and less effort.

He has so many things that worry him, I wish I could make them all go away just to see him smile.

03-18

He leaves in two days, and I have no idea when he'll return. He said to trust that he is well... and I can do nothing otherwise. I might worry over it with each passing breath, but is that really going to help? Nothing will help until he comes off that boat successful in whatever this 'mission' of his is.

It aches me, that there will be no update for me. What if... I wait so long and... I never knew?

No, I cannot let my thoughts go down that path.

I am going to move in with Erin this week. Perhaps having her around will ease my mind. Perhaps she will say something that will make the difference.


.... I hope.

As Lydia said, do not worry of the future, but enjoy the times of now. At least I hope I can give him two happy days to take with him.

03-20

He has left by now. I could not wait at the docks, to see him sail away. Though, I am more than grateful that I was able to find him, be near him, before he left.

I wish I knew how long this wait is going to be. I already pine for him.

I'm living in Erin's cabin now. I think she just walked up the stairs... someone knocked earlier, but I did not hear any exchange of voices. Odd, isn't it? I think our time here together will be good. We have each other to lean on.

03-27

Jeremiah and Adrienne came today... I'm assuming Kiara showed up eventually... at least I don't have to deal with them in town. Adrienne should be able to explain things to them... I hope...

Going to Katmai tomorrow.. have to see about this letter business...

04-09

I have just spent a week away. With Ewan. Out of Rhy'Din, a week with only one letter. I left everything.. I just.. went.

No matter what, I will always remember dancing under the stairs.

It is ink now, I suppose, that we are courting. Father approved, though requested to meet him. An understandable request for certain.

It is so new, and we have many differences... some things will just take time.

There is some news on the cargo crew. Something about meeting at a certain place of 'entertainment' Kiara has the notion to well... I do not know what to think of that.

At least I have a week to think on and cherish in the harder times.

04-12

I do not know how much longer I can do this.

I think I am just going to.. avoid the city entirely for a few days. I cannot let what happens there.. well, I have had enough for one night.

Maybe I'll watch the puppy Lydia found. Give me something to do rather than be in the commons this weekend.

Someone stopped me with a letter. Even here I will not say from who or what.

I do not know what to do about it. I do not know what to do with almost anything anymore.

Feels like it's all slipping through my hands.

04-23

It's official today; I am Avery's guardian. It did not take very long, since there is so little that we know of him.

A step in the right direction.

He's still going to attend Phen's school, and stay there whenever needed. Which I fear might be more than it should be.

He's learning to read and write, and waited for me to come home last night. He read to me, a story of a dog. It was short and sweet, and he was thrilled. He's so bright and smart, I learn something new from him almost everyday.

Tomorrow we'll be in the manor, and he cannot wait. I'm going to take him to the marketplace tomorrow, to get him some things for his room. He said he had never had his own room before.

I found Ewan tonight in the marketplace. I think that we are learning to be in each other's company, and are more open to what we say.

Am I ready for the change that he mentioned?

05-04

Jodie lost her wings..

Whatever let humans survive in our realm is gone now. There are so many in need of someone to transport them elsewhere.. so many families split apart.. we have an emergency meeting on the morrow..

On a different note..

I think I.. hmm... can't even bring myself to write it.

Or say it out loud. Much less to him... just a thought for now..

05-07

This Ghost person... I do not know if he is ready to be.. tamed. I think he is looking for someone to help him through difficult times..

That cannot be me, nor do I want it to... I can only do what is appropriate...

.. I could spend every morning like this..

5-13

It's morning.. I wonder if Erin is going to ask where I have been the past two nights.. but then again, this manor is so big for just the two of us and Avery...

Father's visit went well, I think. He got along just fine with Ewan and Avery, in fact, he spent more time staying with Avery than me. Not that I mind, I am glad that he is happy to include him in our small family. I could not imagine it without him anymore.

We have been able to track Korigan's next return. Another night to the tavern should confirm that.. sometime next week..

But for now, I am going to enjoy having restful nights with another.

5-19

Went to Erin's surprise party for a while, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Seems that everyone is doing much better, on a whole.

Everett seems to be sick.. have not seen the poet in quite some time now..

Tomorrow I'm going to take Avery to spend the day in the Marketplace, should be a fun filled day for him.

...

Weather seems nice, I think that his sailings should be smooth.

Storm ran her hands ildy down the inked parchment, reading her own words from before. She was tempted to rip it to shreds, to never record a thing again; but she knew the value of written words should they ever be needed, and so with a fresh page, she kept her thoughts brief. Some ideas never had a place outside of the mind.

06-04

Another war is coming.