Topic: Fever Dreams

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-02-22 03:17 EST
15 February 2015
0300

One hundred two point five. Hot. Comparable to Nosgoth in the dog days of Summer. There was no summer to be found, not even in the heat that cocooned her. Concrete weighed her down, Addie was sinking, sinking, sinking, far into the flames. It was like quicksand with how it leeched the motion from her limbs, futile struggle failing to free her from the sweltering embrace of her surroundings. It only got darker. Wetter. Sickening squelches that signified the violent separation of flesh and blood. Vitae and paint coated her frame, head to toe. This is what drowning felt like, huh? Absence of oxygen to the brain, hypoxia the doctors call it, results in a slow motion stop action sort of feel to the images that flashed before her eyes. Spasmodic jerks of her limbs did little save for sap her of her remaining energy as her heart hammered violently against her sternum. Every time she opened her mouth to breathe or to scream or to put up some sort of a fight, she found her parted lips flooded by the next gush of fluid. Iron and sugar, a sweet molten metal filling her gullet like some forgotten chalice left to overflow, unceremonious splashes and glugs signifying each and every burp and gurgle of expelled carbon dioxide from her throat. She continued to sink, so very far down. It was so? hot. It was hot and she couldn?t tell sweat from blood and blood from paint and? where was she again? Down. Yes, down. Too far to see the light and in her disoriented and stunned haze, she relaxed. There was no pain, no worry, no struggle left in her limbs. It was so much easier if she simply let herself fall. Until the hallucinations came. If this wasn?t one already, they tugged and tormented her with wicked little words whispered through the wisps of hair that clung to the shell of her ears, drenched strands filtering little of their murmurs. What have you done? What have you done?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! It was getting hot again, she thought her blood might boil. The wretched little urchins that dragged her further into the depths of despair tore at her limbs, pulling and yanking, twisting and contorting, all of it so very unnatural and for a moment, Addie thought her head might pop right off like a discarded Barbie doll, broken and abused, tossed aside like refuse. Still there was no pain. She had given up on crying out by now but the continuous tremble of her limbs betrayed the underlying fight for her life. Why was it so hard to breathe? My sweet girl, my dear sweet Adelaide? what brought you to this point? Addie didn?t know. She knew the voice even if she couldn?t see the face, her eyelids weighted down under the pressure of her overheated mind?s wicked manipulations. And so down, down, down she went, tongues of fire lapping at her limbs, blessing her with each lashing that left lengthy lesions along even lengthier limbs. The descent slowed and her shaking subsided, antici...pation for whatever came next. She couldn't move. She couldn't feel. She couldn't breathe. But she found herself at peace. Only at that point did she finally break the surface, an icy chill washing over her upon impact. It was both solid and liquid, her landing. Both up and down, her fall. In the dark she had no way of knowing, her bearings thrown right out the window, well, not literally. Her eyes were still heavy though, but they weren't weighted by liquid or the crushing weight of mortality, no, instead they were gently held closed by a press of a cold cloth that sent a minuscule trickle down her temple. The droplet tickled her ear as it wiggled into her canal, settling comfortably against an eardrum being gently tapped by the babbling of a soothing brook. A continuous mumble, soft, familiar. Not a brook, but steady like running water. Beep-beep-beep. Addie wasn't sure where her mind was, half in, half out as she was. Languishing somewhere in the haze of waking, the running litany of images before her eyes were projected as if from a film reel to an aging screen. The last thing she saw was the snowy white static of an analog tuned television left on a signal long lost. Excellent work, Doctor! Crackle-crackle. The voice cut out, replaced by the soothing rumble and a gentle caress of a rough thumb across her cheek, skimming the edge of the cool rag set across her eyes and forehead. Another hand settled on her shoulder, rounding the curvature of her anatomy until it had a gentle but firm grasp from clavicle to scapula. And with a light shake, she was at last yanked from the throes of the demons that plagued her in her sleep.

"Addie... Addie, wake up."

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-03-05 18:13 EST
]

22 February 2015
0300

Hot... it was always so hot.

?Freya? Freyaaaaaaaaaaaa silly girl, come here! Where are you?? The child wound through pebble lined paths around a pond full of colorful koi and lush water lilies. Summer was in full swing and even as the sun began to set beyond the mountains on the horizon, July?s heat hung around like an uninvited guest with a tendency to linger. The annoying sort. Muggy and stifling. It didn?t seem to bother the girl though, nonplussed in her steady search of Freya. Tall for a girl of her age, her face still held the cherubic innocence of youth, doe eyed and chubby cheeked to give away she wasn?t more than nine or ten years old. Her wide sapphire eyes were set with slitted pupils that were slowly dilating the further the sun sank and twilight took hold. She was barefoot, clad only in a one piece bathing suit in a shade of baby pink and patterned with white stars, covered up by a pair of too long shorts that were much too big in the waist to make up for the length her bone thin legs needed. Her lips puckered into a shrill whistle, beckoning but the sound only echoed around her. Not even the locusts were buzzing like they usually did this time of night. In fact, the little girl realized, she couldn?t hear any of the usual fauna that frequented the nearby woods. Rounding the corner of the dojo-turned-living-abode, the acrid scent hit her nose like dunking her head into a vat of molten metal. Forty feet away, a vibrant smear of scarlet slashed an unsteady diagonal path along the next corner of the house, disappearing around the edge. Rather than screaming or running, the little girl hurried toward it, worried creasing her expression. She turned the corner too quickly and find herself sliding through a puddle of red. The petite pre-adolescent tumbled to her hands and knees then blinked down at the sticky liquid that coated her hands. From there her gaze lifted to the gruesome scene that had played out in the back training area. Fifteen feet away, a mass of silver and white fur was marred by deep gashes that exposed butchered flesh to the bone. Shock kept her on her knees only for a few moments before she was crawling through the slippery bloodspill until she was beside her fallen friend.

?F-Freya?? Her tiny voice came, hands setting to the still direwolf?s chest. Ribs had been broken and splintered at impossible angles and deep gashes to the wolf?s abdomen had spilled her internal organs over browned grass. Freya was still warm though that was quickly fading. The hulking beast?s snout was covered in blood as well but it seemed there was no injury to her face. At ten, she couldn?t quite realize she should be proud that whoever had done this hadn?t done so without sustaining their own mauling, but the little girl was at least relieved the direwolf?s face had gone undamaged. Anger and sadness and grief overwhelmed her all at once and she burst into tears, burying her face against Freya?s neck. It was a wonder that she had even heard the quiet groan over her own sobs, but her ears picked up a pained sound and slowly she peeked up, half expecting that whatever beast had done this to Freya was back for her. Instead, her eyes tracked a more intermittent path of drying red. The sound had come from behind a trio of vinyl covered training dummies but her gaze didn?t quite make it up that high, stopping on a peak of flesh on the further dummy?s base. Mustering up a new fit of bravery, she carefully pushed herself up to her feet and hesitantly tip-toed toward the source of the sound, taking care to avoid the helter skelter splashes of coagulating blood that stained the grass. As if it couldn?t get any worse, it did.

?...Mama?!? The little girl cried out and nearly tripped over herself to get to the injured woman, sinking to her knees beside her and frantically covering the number of wounds that had shredded her clothing and the flesh beneath. Effectively eviscerated, it was a wonder how the woman was still clinging to life.

?My sweet girl, my dear sweet Adelaide?? the words were so soft that she nearly missed them, exhaled on a rattling breath accented by thick gurgles. If the child looked down, she could see a portion of the woman?s rib cage exposed to show between bloodied bone a trembling lung, deflated though it tried to fill. But it was like breathing air into a hole filled balloon, an exercise in futility.

?Mama, Mama, it?s okay, help is coming,? she shuffled through the grass and gently lifted the fallen woman?s head, sitting cross legged to settle her mother?s head in her lap. A wound at the base of the woman?s skull sent a spill of molasses like crimson down the girl?s legs, the warm liquid making her squirm uncomfortably. The raven haired child leaned down, pressing her lips to her mother?s forehead, tears splashing against the pallid cheeks of the dying woman.

?Hold on, Mama. Please,? she begged, eyes squeezing shut tightly as she tried to pass on every ounce of spare lifeforce she had. Something cool and sticky touched her cheek, a hand, her mom?s hand. The little twinkling motes of light danced around the little girl?s head but beyond that weren?t willed beyond their slow orbit. She was too weak, mother and daughter both. The hand slid down the child?s cheek and came to rest against the empty woman?s chest. Her breathing had slowed to a crawl, soft rattling gurgles dying down into nonexistence, drowned out by the quiet sobbing of the girl that held her. Head bowed, the child mourned her mother, fingers shifting to close open eyelids, a sickly spread of blood ordaining her final sleep. She looked almost peaceful.

?Sleep well?,? she murmured softly and kissed her forehead again, brushing her hair out of her face. The sun was but a sliver of gold outlining the mountain range and darkness had shrouded the bloodstained backyard by the time the little girl?s father had returned. Still holding her now cold mother, the child was hunched over, a soft song set to repeat from lips chapped from tears spilled.

?You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You?ll never know dear, how much I love you.
Please don?t take my sunshine away.?



?Addie? Addie, why?re you crying? Wake up, babe.?

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-03-06 13:25 EST
01 March 2015
0300

Sedation. Sedation and sweet heat that wrapped around her like a security blanket. It wasn?t stifling or choking. Warm, safe, peaceful.

?She won?t remember a thing.?

?None of it??

?None of it.?

?How do we explain it when she wakes up??

?It would be wrong not to tell her that Raven is gone. Freya too? but be vague.?

?I can?t lie to her??

?You have to. For her sake. I?ll be putting Lang?s boy on her protective detail.?

?Kane? Do you think he?s ready? He?s barely seventeen.?

Snort.

?Do you doubt me? The boy is ready for the responsibility. I trust him.?

?It?s not that I don?t trust him? it?s just? you have to understand, I?ve lost too much. I can?t lose her too.?

?My son, I know your pain. I know your loss. You have my word that this is the best course of action. All I ask for is a little faith.?

?I don?t know what I have faith in anymore??

?Have faith in me. I will not lead you astray.?

?Okay??

The voices faded and gave way to a gentle rocking of her shoulders. She had been talking in her sleep again.

?Shhhhh Addie, sleep. Shhhh.?

?Kane? I remember now.?

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-03-10 00:11 EST
08 March 2015
0300

Like clockwork, the heat rose and this time it sought to suffocate her. It wanted to smother her, to drown her with too thick air, with smoke, with licking flames. When she looked down at herself for the source of the fire, she found only herself and the endless void. A rainbow of colors danced over her skin with an elegant ferocity that sought to consume all she was. She was the only light in the dark and as far as she could tell, she was set adrift once more. There was nothing to anchor her down but at least she wasn?t falling. Falling was the worst. Or so she thought until the echoes came. Those may be the worst. Like the roar of a crashing wave, they all came at once, the rising din of voices and words and damnations rounding her so rapidly she was certain she was lost in a cyclone of sound.

You have to shut it behind you Addie. You never know who will be coming by.

Beep-beep-beep.

It?s looking good!

Beep-beep-beep.

You?re a foolish little girl.

Beep-beep-beep.

I can?t turn back time Addie as badly as I want to.

Beep-beep-beep.

Darlin?, ya bound ?im?

Beep-beep.

Don?t be a poof, Addie.

Beep-beep.

I need you to trust me. Please?

Beep.

Get us out, Aaddiee? please!

Beep.

I knew a man once who couldn?t die.

Beep.

Fierce Fire?

The heat? it was unbearable.

Fierce Fire?

She couldn?t take it anymore.

I hear we?ve got you ta t?ank fer Sandy comin? back.

I doubt you?d thank me.

I doubt you?d thank me.

I doubt you?d thank.

I doubt you.

Doubt.

Doubt.

Doubt.

The flatline pitched so loudly in her ears that she curled inwards, trying to block it out. Instead she found herself staring down at the gaping hole in her chest. Empty where her heart should have been, she looked down at it for an eternity before slowly looking up. Sandalio was there, he had joined her in the void, an ever present smile curving his lovely mouth. In his hand he grasped her heart, sticky blood running through his fingers and dripping down into the nothingness below them.

?S-Sandy? But? why?? She asked, disbelief contorting her features. The flames were fading, dancing a samba across her tingling black flesh as a pair of shadows swept up between her and her best friend. They loomed over her, too tall, too dark. She felt herself gasping for air as they neared and as they consumed her with their discomforting dark, Adelaide found herself sitting bolt upright in bed. Kane was on a job and Addie was alone, the sheets damp with sweat. Silhouetted against the window and backlit with Rhy?Din?s twin moonlight, Addie saw the woman standing there. Beautiful, classically so, with flowing raven locks and brilliantly bright eyes, a shade of deep sapphire that Addie had often seen reflected in the mirror.

?...Mom?? Another question left to be unanswered, the spectre descended on her with the most malicious of grins, lips split much too wide to be natural.

?It?s time to come home Adelaide.? Her voice wasn?t normal, as if played back from an old tape recorder. Addie couldn?t scream as the dark overtook her but she could fight, a flailing of limbs constricted by tight restraints. At last she felt even tighter arms wrap around her and just like that, the dark was no more.

?Adelaide Victoria, open your eyes. You?re having a nightmare again. Wake up. Look at me, you?re okay. Wake up.?

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-03-15 01:09 EST
15 March 2015
0300

?Learned your lesson yet??

?I didn?t do anything!? She couldn?t pull her arms up around her head quickly enough to hold off the rain of blows.

?Stop lying! Nobody likes you Adelaide. Why don?t you just go die in a fire or something. Nobody likes stupid boyfriend stealing sluts.?

?

Always the damn fire.

The voices melted into the heat like an auditory mirage, shimmering at the edges of her ears until she was left alone underneath a late afternoon sun, concrete burning her skinned hands and knees. Not a single cloud in the sky offered her reprieve from the feverish heat that surrounded her.

?What a little bitch.?
?Stupid skank.?
?Did you hear how mad she got when you made fun of her??
?That was pretty good? ?Wah wah, my mommy?s dead, nobody likes me because I?m a dumb whore?. Like get over it already.?
?Such a cry baby.?
?Ha, whatever. She?s nothing special anyways. Let her sit there and cry.?
?Should have hit her harder.?
?Haha, should have.?

The basketball court was empty now, save for the preteen sitting on her knees in the midst of it all. The desolation stretched endlessly in every direction, one neverending slab of cement. Hot, hot cement. As she cried softly to herself, her tears splashed against the front of her shirt and those that weren?t intercepted by the light cotton evaporated with a sizzle when they hit the ground. Her backpack felt like an anchor on her back, keeping her from getting up. Even if she got up, where would she go? For all she knew, that pack of rabid bitches was just out of sight, waiting for another chance to kick her while she was down. It?s not like she could go home either, not looking like this. Her bottom lip was split and puffy and the heavy, dark makeup she had layered over her eyelids and along her lash line was an utter disaster, smudged and smeared as if finger painted on by a drunken toddler. Her scuffed palms were dragged across her thighs, her shorts cleaning most of the dirt and blood before she turned her hands over and wiped her eyes with the backs, smoky eye makeup painting a dark picture of the sadness in which she wallowed.

?Hey kid, whatcha doin? sitting down there?? The masculine voice was familiar and she cringed, keeping her head bowed to avoid giving away the source of her ire.

?N-nothing. I?m fine.? She said through a sniffle, freezing slightly as the taller boy stooped and cupped a hand under her chin, tilting her face up until he could see it. With the way the sun framed him, he looked nearly angelic, gold highlighting his pure white hair and giving him a glowing aura. Squinting, she could just barely make out a frown on his mouth as his thumb ran just under her bottom lip.

?Again, really? C?mon, let?s get you cleaned up and home.? He said with a soft sigh, slipping a strong hand around her upper arm and hauling her to her feet. Kane bent to dust her knees off, calloused hands gentle across tender skin.

?It?s? it?s not a big deal?? The twelve-year-old mumbled sheepishly, sensing a bit of consternation or even anger in his tone. The last thing she wanted was for him to be mad at her. He was the closest thing she?d had to consistency over the past two years and the thought of upsetting that nearly had her in tears again.

?It is a big deal, Addie. You shouldn?t have to put up with those little brats. From now on, I?ll be here waiting before you get out of class and if they give you any trouble just call me, okay? No more of this ?it?s not a big deal? stuff. I?m always here for you.? He put a protective arm around her shoulder and steered her off in the opposite direction the quartet of Mean Girls in Training had gone. The endless slab of basketball court swallowed them up much like it had the girls, the sounds, and the scenery.

I?m always here for you.

Addie roused herself from the dream for once, peeking over at the man sleeping lightly beside her. He had stayed up late after she returned from the Arena a mess, drying her tears and handing her tissues while she swore to the heavens that she was never going back. It was good to see him sleeping finally. But feeling her shift woke him as well and he looked over at her, surprised to see her awake rather than caught in the midst of a nightmare. Kane was sure after all of her incoherent blubbering she would surely have a fitful night of sleep.

?Ad, are you okay?? He asked, shifting to sit up. She placed a hand to his bare chest to keep him from getting up and gave him a little smile and a nod, leaning to press her lips to his cheek.

?I?m okay. I am okay and thank you.? Addie mumbled, patting his chest and laying back down.

?For what?? Kane inquired with some amount of bleary eyed confusion. For that he got one more smile before she closed her eyes again.

?For being here.?

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-03-21 22:39 EST
22 March 2015
0300

?Now listen to me very carefully, Adelaide.? Her godmother?s calm voice held just enough of an edge to it that Addie herself couldn?t help but sweat. If someone could get her to squirm, it was definitely godmommy dearest. Dragging the back of her hand across her forehead, Addie tried to ward off the sheen of sweat that caught the shades of twilight and gave her a pallid glow. Arms of violet and navy and onyx served as the backdrop to their conversation, as vast and endless as the Unseen Realm her mind?s eye was trying to imitate.

?I am?? Addie whispered, her chin dipped to the point it nearly met her chest. The lecture had echoed in her ears for the better part of a week, it was no wonder it was coming back to haunt her in her sleep.

?Every action, and I mean every single one, that you make here has an impact on the life you knew. The life you will know. Every choice you make spawns forth infinite possibilities. Surely I?ve had this talk with you at some point? Before you came here maybe? The points at which things happen, these critical, important spots, they bump up against one another in other lines, like liquid rainbows left to flow into whatever they please. Every decision, Addie. Are you listening to me?? The perpetual dusk should have offered the young woman some sort of calming reprieve from the heat that weaseled its way along her spine like an inverse chill, but it didn?t. It was no use, she couldn?t rid herself of the slow burn that had seemingly worked its way into her soul. Alas, Addie nodded, still declining to meet aquamarines that were sure to be blazing down upon her.

?Good. Your footprints here must be minimal, your impact as small as possible. I? don?t know just yet why you?ve come here, to this point as you have, and I?m not sure you or Kane do either. But you both have a ton more information about the states of things and that information is dangerous. You can change lives? you have changed lives.? Her godmother continued, ramping up to her penultimate ?Come to Jesus? moment, if you will.

?Addie? have you ever thought that there was a reason you didn?t know Sandy where you came from?? She asked. Addie stared at the inky black sand that washed up over her bare feet, the Chaos soothing when it shouldn?t have been. The younger of the two frowned and shook her head.

?Perhaps he wasn?t meant to come back. And just like that, you brought him back. You changed his timeline. You changed your timeline. The timeline of those that know him, that knew him. Those that meet him in the future. Do you see the impact of a single decision? How far reaching those consequences are? Are you willing to accept responsibility for that?? The questions came and it took Adelaide a few moments to figure out if they were rhetorical or not. Her shoulders lofted like feathers and dropped like anchors, her hands dropping to dig into the sands of the beach.

?I will not apologize for saving my friend. Just as you?ve never apologized for saving my mother.? At last Addie looked up, defiance holding her gaze with the iron expression wielding deity. A moment. Two. Three. Four. Addie counted all the way to ten before the elder spoke once more.

?That. That is the woman you were raised to be. To protect. To hold near those who are dear. To use your talent for positive benefit, your mouth for good, your bravery for forward progress. Which brings me to my next point. Acting like a hoodrat, tearing others down, and breaking yourself in the process, most certainly is not. And I swear if I hear one more tale of your less than ladylike behavior, you will dine on an entire bar of soap if not two when your father hears of it as well.? Adelaide?s godmother finally graced the raven haired girl with a slight smile, kneeling to join her in the sand and slipping her arms around the girl?s narrow shoulders.

?So go forth without malice, speak not with poison, act not with ill will. Everything else will fall into place. An ounce of lenience, forgiveness even, paired with kindness in all that you do? that?ll go far. Remember that, Adelaide.? The hug was fleeting and the ephemeral goddess rose soon after to bestow a warmer smile upon Addie.

?And remember that we love you very much.? Parting words that relieved the uncomfortable warmth if only for a moment. The cool aura that radiated out from the woman became so blinding it swallowed her whole and left Addie alone once more. She looked down and though her heart wasn?t missing this time, it certainly felt as though it had be broken within her chest. The quiet sobs were enough to wake Kane and he pulled her close in hopes of rousing her with a gentle rock.

?Shh shh shhhhh. I?m here. I?m here.?

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-03-29 01:34 EST
29 March 2015
0900

Sleep.

Peaceful, restful sleep.

It had been hers. What was this witchcraft? Thin cracks of light had wiggled past the newly hung blackout curtains and Addie soon realized it wasn't three in the morning, she wasn't waking from another nightmare, and for once she finally felt like she had got some sleep.

Weird.

No choking heat, no fire, no smoke. No twisted distortions of reality threatening to try to her sanity and ability to decipher reality from dark fantasy. Sunday was here and she wasn't starting it off with a screaming fit that could wake the dead. She had to pinch herself.

"Ow."

It wasn't a dream. This was real. Really real! Maybe the nightmare was over.

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-04-05 00:54 EST
5 April 2015
0300

The scene before her was one of utter destruction. Nosgoth was in ruins from the highlands in the north to the low plains by the sea in the south. The cities, the villages, everything in between, it was one giant smoldering mess. She looked out between heavy steel bars, spaced just so to squeeze her sallow cheekbones between them but no further. The metal was hot, hotter than the air around her, but she didn?t withdraw, resigning herself to whatever would come. A blanket of ash covered land and sky both, staining crystalline blue a midnight black and emerald hills a muddied mess. Lightning crackled overhead but the bright light was dulled behind the perpetual clouds. The rumble that came could have easily been mistaken for the battle waged on the lands below. In another time it would have been cause for celebration, a cool shower in the heat of high summer. No rain came, no reprieve from the Hell that was home.

?See, now, how much easier would it have been to just cooperate?? The question came like gravel in a blender, enough to make her withdraw before the reaching hand could catch her chin. Another caught her by the hair instead, pulling her roughly up against the bars of the heavily warded cage. It was enough to force the air out of her lungs and she let out a pained grunt. Her hands pressed against the bars to try and leverage herself free to no avail.

?And now all of them, every single mutt you loved? they all get to die. Well, of course they all would have died anyways, but not until they had fulfilled their usefulness.? His growled monologue was punctuated by a weak whimper on her behalf, not daring to bring her eyes up to meet his.

?Though? it?s rather amusing to watch them do it themselves. Silly little insects, fighting amongst themselves for some perceived slight. Do you know how hard it is to start a race war in this day and age? Angels? demons? humans? and those damn dragons. They?re smarter than they used to be.? He paused to laugh. ?Oh who am I kidding, they?ll never be smart or else this wouldn?t have worked.?

?And what do you want with me?? Her broken voice finally lifted to ask, trepidation evident in her tone. She had long since been separated from her family, her friends, anyone she cared about. As far as she knew they were all dead. The war had waged for far too long, Nosgoth cut off from all that she had known; Rhy?Din, Valhalla, Lucis. It was all gone.

?Well, that?s simple. You were born for this.? He traced his thumb nail along her jawline as she bit back a visible shudder. His touch sent chills down her spine despite the heat. Her discomfort was obvious and brought a broad smile to his thin lips.

?N-no? I?m? I?m just Addie. I?m nobody.? She shook her head as best as she could, which wasn?t anything more than a few jerks of her head thanks to the tangled grip holding her hair.

?Nobody as you may be, you shall serve your purpose soon.? He affectionately stroked her hair before releasing her. She fell onto her butt, the uncomfortable bars making for a less than ideal landing. Thunder rolled overhead, lightning still dancing behind the cloud of ash until with one final crack! the clouds opened up to dump their bounty upon the lands, warm summer rain drowning out her quiet cries as he walked away.

The rain gave way to a trio of cold noses poking at her face and then a slurp of a tongue to her cheek, lapping tears as they trickled. It was enough to jolt her away and blearily she peered at the three headed puppy who sat back on its haunches when she awoke. Fred was clearly pleased with his-her handiwork and chuffed a tickle of harmless hellfire against her hand. Addie wiped away the last of her tears and gave Fred a grateful pat, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

?That was a weird one, Freddie. Remind me to tell Kane about it?? She mumbled, getting to her feet. At least she was awake now.

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-04-12 02:25 EST
12 April 2015
0300

As she drifted into the land of unconsciousness once more, she fell into the same stifling heat that had plagued Nosgoth upon her last visit. The rain had done little but thicken the air with humidity, like trying to breath underwater. Curled up in the further corner of her confines, she had tried to stay free from the muddy puddles just beneath the thick bars, having to balance in such a way that she couldn?t feel her butt anymore. The young woman had drifted in and out of sleep through the night, the distant sounds of destruction serving as an unsettling soundtrack to her slumber. Lights on the horizon reminded her not of the coming sunrise but rather of the raging inferno that had worked its way down from Dark Eden and through the Black Forest. How it had survived the depths of the swamp was beyond comprehension but the fiery destruction had laid waste to the lands and quickly approached the Great Southern Lake. The Pillars were in danger and even across the large body of water that separated her from the last bastion of hope, she could tell that time was running out. Her time was running out. Nosgoth?s time was running out. Resigned, she sat back and watched the flames? reflection dance upon the water?s far edge, the lake alive with the destruction of the further shore.

She slipped back into a state of blissful unconsciousness. The Void that had swallowed her whole and taken her away was familiar. A bit too familiar, in fact, and she found herself fighting for air as she sank into the dark, suffocating slowly as she faded into the realm of delusions and hallucinations.

What have you done? Foolish girl. Beep-beep-beep. I can?t turn back time, Addie. I can?t turn back time, Addie. Have faith in me. I will not lead you astray.

Just as quickly, she was yanked from the dark by a chorus of fresh violence. Jolting hard, she tried to push herself to her feet, slipping and sliding until she was ankle deep in mud. The shouts and explosions, both arcane and artillery, was a lot closer than it had been. Pressing to the cell?s bars, she tried her best to get a glimpse of anything other than blinding light. It was so bright she had to shield her eyes and when they finally adjusted to the light, she found herself blinking into the face of familiarity. The comforting sort.

?K-Kane?!? She cried, reaching out through the bars for him. He rushed forward, his own arms snaking through the bars to wrap around her.

?Addie? you?re still alive. By the gods, we need to get you out of there!? He released her in favor of prying at the bars. She hadn?t the strength in her to assist, but still she tried, a sudden burst of adrenaline filling her from head to toe. A last minute reprieve, it could be hers for the low, low price of getting out of this metal box. Suddenly, runes that had been inscribed in each of the bars flared to life and pulsed a burst of malevolent energy to discourage any prying. It knocked her into the far wall of the cage and Kane went skidding back half a dozen feet.

?Out of the way boy, I?ve got the key!? Came another familiar voice and as she got back up to her feet, she was relieved to find that Kane wasn?t alone in his fight. Her grandfather shoved the key into the lock and twisted. The runes died down and Darkmere yanked the door open. Addie shot forward and nearly jumped into his waiting grasp, finding herself swept off her feet as she was hauled out of the cage. He pressed a relieved kiss to her forehead and set her back down on her bare feet.

?We haven?t much time, we?ve got to go now.? And again with the safety of the voices of those she knew, she swiveled an anxious look to find her great uncle quickly hurrying past. Another look snapped left and then right, looking for anyone else that had been in their rescue party. She was disappointed to find it was only the trio that was quickly leading her away from the now burning camp site. But she was free, that?s what mattered. Kane caught her by the wrist to make sure she wouldn?t fall behind and soon they left the camp behind in favor of the woods to the south, the lowlands leading them away from the apex of the battle for Nosgoth?s future. At last they seemed to reach their destination, a well hidden glen carved from the deepest depths of the southern forest. Ghallon stopped the party and turned toward the two youngest, a grave look upon his face.

?What I am about to ask of you is no small task but I believe it to be the only shot we have at reversing this course?? He took a deep breath and set one hand to Kane?s shoulder and the other to Addie?s. The pair exchanged anxious looks and Kane?s grasp slid down her wrist to catch her hand instead. Palms cupped, she squeezed tightly, unsure of just what they needed to do.

?I must send you back to stop this. You must abide by this and only interfere when the time is right. The Nemesis must be stopped and the balance must be maintained. Tread lightly, children, you are Nosgoth?s future.? It was all he could offer of explanation and before they knew it, time itself had stopped then began to reverse, pulling them with it through the layers of space, slowly at first and then quicker and quicker, zipping through the years until nearly seventeen calendars? worth were behind them.

It was July and Rhy?Din was hot, so hot. Kane?s birthday was days away but that was the least of her worries as she found the pair of them outside of the Great Helm Tavern. Why were they here? Why Rhy?Din and more importantly, why now?

Everything was rocking, tempting the world into turning topsy turvy in conjunction with the warm breath along the shell of her ear. The Great Helm Tavern faded away and she found herself blinking blearily into the near pitch black of her bedroom. Their bedroom. Kane?s arms around her, he sought to carefully rouse her from her growing panic.

?What was it this time?? He mumbled through his fatigue, holding her as if she would disappear from their very bed.

?We have to fix it, Kane? I don?t know how much time we have?? She said, desperately trying to extract herself from both his grasp and the sheets that had tangled about her shins. He tightened his grip and shook his head.

?Shhhh, not tonight. We have time and you need rest. Please, Addie? just? sleep?? He dragged her back down to meet pillows almost imperceptibly damp with sweat, an arm kept around her to keep her from fleeing.

?B-but??

?Sleep.?

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-04-19 00:48 EST
19 April 2015
0300

Last call came and went and still Addie sat at the bar of the trendy New Haven nightspot. The bartender sat opposite of her, a concerned look on his face as he refilled their glasses with more scotch. The bottle had been mostly full when she had come in around midnight, sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the flashy clubwear of the well dressed patrons. Her hair and makeup were both a mess but couldn?t compare to the state of her sweatshirt, the grey hoodie stained with splotches of red like she?d just walked through a massacre. She had garnered plenty of dirty looks as she wandered through the masses and took a seat at the bar. It hadn?t taken long for Yuri to notice her, systematically working his way through the thirsty bar goers until he reached her. Adelaide hadn?t been keen on talking, not at first, at least and so he had obliged her emotional state with continued refills until the last of the partiers had stumbled their way out into the New Haven night. Once it was just the two of them, he got himself a glass and took up a lean.

?Marco running you into the ground now that I?m gone?? He plied gently, trying to get her to fess as to what was bothering her. Really, he wasn?t all that concerned with the ragged state of her hoodie, chalking the mess up to a night at the dueling venues. Addie shook her head, staring down into the tumbler full of scotch before lifting it and dumping it into her mouth.

?No. Work?s fine. Work?s good even. Busy, but good,? She mumbled, opening her mouth for the first time that night that didn?t involve drinking. Yuri was sure by this point in the evening that liquor had to outdo the blood in her veins, his suspicions confirmed by the unsteady sway of the girl before him.

?Then what?s up kid? No offense but you?re a hot mess,? Yuri was never one to mince words and it was at that moment that Addie remembered just why she liked him. A little giggle shook her shoulders, lifting higher and higher until a full on rumble of laughter freed itself from her lips. A trembling hand brought the glass up to her mouth and she drowned the mirth with a trio of gulps.

?I am, aren?t I. Hot, hot mess. It?s never ending, Yuri. Every time I think I?ve got it figured out, every time I think the sun?s finally coming out from behind the clouds, everything goes to shit,? Residual snickers reverberated through her and she pushed the empty tumbler toward her friend for another refill. Though he was reluctant to do so, he could sympathize with her troubles and tilted the bottle once more for a few fingers worth.

?That?s life, Ad-rock. Sorry to hear you?re learning that so young, but life sucks for everyone. Anything ya wanna talk about?? He brought his own glass up for a sip, taking his time with his own drink in comparison to the scotch guzzler across from him. Addie shook her head, frowning down into the amber liquid.

?No? I just can?t sleep anymore,? Hesitantly she spoke despite the shake of her head, unsure of just how much she wanted to divulge. How crazy would she sound if she tried to explain that ever since resurrecting her dead best friend that she had been plagued by hellish nightmares and an incessant fever? Just thinking about it made her wonder if she should be institutionalized.

?Ahh, I know how that goes. Wait here a sec, I might have something that?ll help,? He rapped his knuckles on the bar and pushed off from his lean, disappearing into a backroom briefly. In his absence, she took the time to empty another glass and refill it to the same level it had been before. Nothing to see here, Yuri, nothing to see. He emerged a few moments later, hand clutched tightly. Addie watched him curiously, her scotch forgotten for the time being.

?Take one of ?em about an hour before you wanna crash and you?ll sleep like a baby for ten. Just don?t take more than one, and if you have to be up sooner than ten hours, set a couple alarms or have someone else wake you up,? He held his hand out until she did the same and once she did, he deposited the handful of pills into her palm. She was quick to close her hand and tuck it away into her pocket, carefully protecting her bounty as she nodded to Yuri.

?What are they? Sleeping pills?? She asked, tugging over her drink into her opposite hand. A lift and a sip followed, her eyes on the the taller man. He was handsome in a roguish sort of way, a five o?clock shadow framing his cut jawline. It was no wonder he made as much in tips as he usually did, as evidenced by the pile of bills and silver he was counting and stacking. It seemed it was time to get going.

?No, something I got from a friend. Just take ?em like I told you and don?t go telling your boytoy about them. Don?t think he?d be too happy,? Yuri cut her a wry smile and scooped up the neat piles, folding bills to tuck into his wallet and shoving silver into his pockets. The life of a server, Addie knew it well.

?No, he probably wouldn?t,? Addie frowned, clumsily sliding off of her barstool. Yuri was quick to catch her arm, grateful for reflexes honed from years of dealing with drunks. She shot him a grateful smile and grabbed at the almost empty glass. ?Lemme just take one now, that way I can sleep when I get home.?

?Don?t you think it?s a little late? It?s going on four,? His concern was evident in both his tone and the way he leaned for the glass himself. She was quick to grab it, dumping its contents into her mouth. One pill pulled from her pocket, she pushed it past her lips and quickly swallowed. No way to argue now. The grin she gave him was met with a disapproving frown but soon he lead her for the doors so they could lock up.

?Guess not. Let?s get you home before it kicks in. I don?t really feel like carrying your ass all the way to the far side of Dragons Gate,? He muttered. Addie laughed, leaning against the door frame as Yuri twisted and secured the various locks and activated the building?s wards. Offering her an arm, she was quick to accept the support and soon they were on their way. Sleep. Peaceful sleep. It was all hers. Nevermind that it came halfway home, her drunken weave giving way to a sluggish falter and finally a complete collapse.

?Damnit kid?,? Yuri grumbled as he scooped her up to continue the rest of the trek in concerned silence. Hopefully the overwhelming stench of liquor would be enough to explain it to Kane.

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2015-04-26 17:41 EST
26 April 2015
0300

Michi and her art were safely back in her boxcar flat that she now called home and Addie was wandering back to New Haven later than should have been advisable. Kane was on a long job and she was determined to prove that she could make it just fine without him. Independence and all of that jazz. Between work and band practice, she really had little time for much else, bouncing from one activity to another in a constant stream of go-go-go to keep from settling long enough that she had time to dwell. So the relative quiet of the northern side of Dragons Gate district at three in the morning proved to be exactly what she didn?t need. Last call had come and gone at the club and the doorman had long since left. Jiggling the handle, she found it locked and sighed, shifting to one side of the door to lean against the wall. It was cold but not unbearable, so she slumped down until she was half sitting, half squatting.

?Passed out on the overpass, Sunday best and broken glass. Broken down from bikes and bars, something something over speeding cars.? She fumbled through the slow song as her hands went through her pockets, pulling out the repurposed Altoids tin. Popping it open, she discreetly used the contents within to roll a messily made joint. Once that was done, she tucked the tin away, continuing to hum as she pinned the joint between her lips and patted around for a lighter. Instead of locating it, she found herself scowling up at the shadow that blocked out the minimal light that illuminated her little huddle.

?And when I pass the bottle back to Pete, on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh.? Yuri wasn?t much of a singer either but it was a simple enough tune. He leaned down, Zippo already lit, to put the tip of the dancing flame to the tip of the poorly rolled stick. ?I?m gonna stay eighteen forever, so we can stay like this forever.?

?And we?ll never miss a party, ?cause we keep them going constantly.? Inhaling, she held her breath, the lungful of smoke making her head swim. Yuri?s hand offered down to her had her clasping it to let him pull her up to her feet. Addie coughed and exhaled all in one go, fading into light giggles as Yuri clapped her on the back a few times.

?Lightweight.? He teased, stealing the joint from her lips to take a quick drag before handing it back. ?Didn?t think you?d stop by.?

?I didn?t think I was gonna make it up here in time. Had to help Michi with something.? The next drag she took didn?t quite fill her lungs so it wouldn?t end in another coughing fit. The song stuck in her head stayed buzzing on her lips, hummed in little leaps and jumps as it bubbled to the forefront of her mind while other times it just played on repeat in her mind. We?re the coolest kids and we?ll take what we can get? the hell? out of the town. Find some conversation?

?Ah, that?s right. I?ve got something for her. Let?s swing by my place and I?ll have you take it to her.? Yuri nodded, changing their path out of New Haven. While they retraced the path she had taken to get there, they ended up diverting south and across the river that split the city in two.

?I was wondering if I could maybe get more of whatever it was that you gave me last week.? Addie asked, offering over the dwindling joint. The man took it gladly and sucked at it for a deep inhale then handed it back. Smoking all of the product. Michi would not approve. But it gave her a nice heady feeling to the point she didn?t have to think about anything except silly, trivial stuff. The low fuel light?s been on for days, it doesn?t mean anything. I?ve got another five hundred, ?nother five hundred miles before we shut this engine down. We shut it down.

?You go through it already? Hmm. Yeah, I can get you some. I?m not responsible for any lost productivity, blah blah blah.? He cracked a grin sidelong, taking her down a narrow cobblestone walkway and up a short set of steps. The narrow Old Temple brownstone had been converted into two separate apartments, the upper being Yuri?s. It was a little outdated but it was cozy and affordable according to the man. Once inside, the pair climbed the creaky staircase and disappeared into the single bedroom apartment.

?Yeah. It helped me sleep like I hadn?t in months.? She mumbled sheepishly, stopping just inside the doorway to await her next task. Kane had wondered just why she had acquired this new found ability to sleep like the dead but she had just chalked it up to exhaustion and a busy schedule. All that go, go, go, you know? Yuri stepped into the bedroom so while she waited, a little thrumming hum found its way to her lips again, the same tune from before. The man chuckled when he heard it, exiting his room to bring over the small parcel. And we?ll never have to listen, to anyone, ?bout anything, ?cause it?s all been done and it?s all been said. We?re the coolest kids and we take what we can get.

?Well, get this to your friend and let her know she should be able to get it out within two weeks. Then she can get me my cut. And for your troubles, I?ll give you these.? Once he passed the parcel over, he produced a sealed baggie full of colorful pills and dangled it in front of her, a proverbial carrot on a stick; the promise of restful nights and dreamless sleep. Instinctively, she grabbed for the bag, only for him to pull it up out of her reach, a grin splitting his lips as he looked down upon her.

?Please? I can take this stuff right over, it?s no trouble.? Addie said quickly, eyes on the baggie like it was her last lifeline. Between her motion and his, they ended up half an arm?s length away from one another. Close enough that she could feel his cool breath with each exhale. He smelled like weed with an undertone of copper and subtle cologne. He looked down at her, a hint of a smirk playing across his lips. The silence was awkward, uncomfortably stifling and so she broke it just as awkward of a fashion. In song. Complete with middle school dance-esque side to side sway. ?Just jealous ?cause we?re young and in love. You?re just jealous ?cause we?re young and in love.?

The smirk faded and something unreadable flashed momentarily past the windows of Yuri?s gaze. He thrust the bag at her and she fumbled to catch it before it dropped, quickly stuffing it into her jacket pocket. That was just as good as the turntable scratch that ended the song whenever she played it from the shiny compact disc she had been given. He stepped back, she stepped back, they all stepped back, and Addie turned for the door, quick to slip out with only a brief glance over her shoulder. Yuri still stood in the middle of the room, watching her with that same unreadable expression all the way until the door shut of its own accord behind her. She practically flew down the stairs and out the front door, spilling into Old Temple?s unbroken night. A glance over her shoulder to make sure she was alone, a second to verify, and then she was on her way.

What have you done?



*Lyrics by Brand New/Jesse Lacey

Addie MacKenzie

Date: 2016-07-30 00:45 EST
28 July 2016
0300

They were there. They were all there, just beyond the bars, ready to stand in judgment of all she had done. This was it. The end. In a battle of stubborn willpower versus the weight of the world, the world had at last won. The stationary background was Nosgoth in ruins, deathly still and as broken as she thought she was. Everyone she had hurt, everyone she had touched in her time in Rhydin stood before her, shoulder to shoulder in an endless wall of weighty stares and heavier silences.

?Please? please let me out,? she begged, curling her hands around the thick iron bars. A sizzling pop sent her reeling back with a gasp, her hands blistering from the flare of blood red runes meant to keep her confined. In the crowd of faces, she sought salvation.

?Kane? please??

Her plea was met by an impassive stare. It made her heart ache but she searched harder and tried again.

?Michi! Michi, help me. Get me out of here.?

Nothing. Not so much as a blink from the blue haired woman.

?Ro??

?Sandy...?

?Misery. . .?

?Someone? anyone? please.?

Sweat trickled into her eyes and burned when it mixed with the hot tears that threatened to spill over.

?I?m sorry. I never meant to? I never meant to hurt anyone. Please, just? give me another chance. I don?t want to go back, don?t let them take me. Please, don?t let them take me.? No matter where she turned, she found not a single ounce of empathy.

And then it hit her all at once.

?My sweet girl??

?She won?t remember a thing.?

?You?re a foolish little girl.?

?Get us out Aadiee? please!?

?Nobody likes stupid boyfriend stealing sluts.?

?I?m always here for you.?

?You can change lives? you have changed lives.?

?The Nemesis must be stopped and the balance must be maintained.?

?I think you?re worth any risk.?

?It?s a bandaid over a bullet hole.?

Addie sank to her knees, her hands clapping over her ears to try and drown out all of their voices.

?Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!? She screamed.

All at once it stopped. Reluctantly, she uncovered her ears and peeked up. Where the masses had stood before, they were instead sprawled across the ground. Each and every single one of them had a gaping hole in their chest where their heart should have been, empty and freshly ruined. Their eyes all stared at her, wide and lifeless but accusatory just the same.

Michi.

Misery.

Ro.

Scarlet.

Aric.

Sandalio.

Kane.

Jo.

Noah.

Raven.

Claire.

Dead.

?Oh gods? I? I?? Addie had no words. One hand came up to cover her mouth and she felt a sticky, warm smear come with the splaying of fingertips. When she looked at her hands, she was greeted with red.

So much red.

What have you done?

So much red and then it went dark.

One voice, a desperate whisper, stretched through the black to tug her back to the bright.

?Stay with me. Everything?s gonna be okay.?