Today I went to the market place and found this journal, bound in dark leather with the tree inlaid upon the front. Makes me think of home. Of Kegan,Thoren,Kyna,Ellya ,Alderon,Karnil,Ty, Hera and Sekara. Some my family others my enemies. I told Drake after all this time I told him that I was bound to another man. He wants to be the one that has spoken for me, I did not foresee falling in love with another human man. After all Thoren put me through...

I fell in love with Kegan, and to him was I bound, to him did I let my self go. To him I would have born a child if not for Kyna's attack and the fall off the falls. I lost that child I lost Kegan as well. I know he is alive I can sense him. I close my eyes and I see his face his icy blue gaze I feel his kiss. The passion that rose between us, when he and I laid together at the night of the hunt and many nights after ward. I do love Drake, I care for him so deeply. that it kills me that I am not sure of what I want, if Kegan lives I am bound to him.. if he is dead or thinks I am and has moved on then what? Do I wish to stay with Drake? The man who loves me so deeply he would risk his very life for me.

I am lost in this city, I have met many here, interesting people. People, patrons of all kinds. I have made friends with a dragon, and a few elves, I have gotten to know some of the local tenders, those who tend to the bar at the Red Dragon Inn. This place is so new to me, Drake does not come here often. I suppose time will tell if I stay here or try to go home.

For now I sleep.

I have been out about Rhydin and at last the map of the city is done, and while I sat on the outskirts I drew a map of home. I needed not to see it to remember it. I close my eyes and see it. I gaze in tot he fire and remember how the woods smelt. I still hope to find Arda. Last eve may have been my last back at the inn for some time, I need to stop finding such comfort there. Tis hard. I have been looking all about for Arda with little luck.

I hope to find her today, I will head out and see if I can find her, she is the only horse I have ever had and it will take less time to map my way between here and the village in which Drake and I stayed for so long. Then from there homeward I shall try and go. Mapping the way as I ride, and rest. Once I find the border of the Nisse I should be able to find my way back home. I can feel it calling me back, the more I close my eyes the more I feel as if Kegan is coming closer.

I will not know what to do when or if I see him alive. I am a woman torn.. I love Kegan and I love Drake, but they are very different sorts of love. And if Kegan is dead, do I really wish to spend the rest of my days with Drake? I do not know if I trust in men enough to allow myself to do as such.

He is an honorable man, he is very sweet and caring. I know he cares for me deeply, I had known for some time before we kissed. But my dreams are filled with home, the trees of Tel Mandu Taure, Kegan's face. The face of the child that is now long gone. Perhaps in time I shall understand why I was washed away from everything I knew. I have at last remembered what happened, every detail of the day.

Rhydin has been this great escape, here no one knows who I am, or where I hail from. I can be from anywhere I could wish to be from. But I am sure all know that I am not from Rhydin. But I have felt as if I can easily blend in here, for all types come and go from the inn. Many a patron. I thought I saw Kegan yesterday from afar, a silver haired drow it turned out to be. I miss him. I often wonder if he thinks I am dead has he moved on? Or as I feel is he looking for me?

So much I do not know...

::The moon light shown upon the the page berfore her.::


It is now the second night away. I was almost spotted. I do not know what they would have done to me if I had been found. It has been two days and now this is the second night. Arda rests beside me, the light fire before me to keep us warm. It is not suitable to cook over, the flames are far too low. I can not risk being seen . The wild plains strech on for miles and miles and I head to the South. I do not know how long I will be away for. Leaving Rhydin was no easy task . I have made friends their connections, the city pulses with a magic I can not describe.

But my heart wishes to go home, to find if Kegan lives or looks for me. To know what happened of the alliance between the clans. What if Kegan is dead? what if I was the only one to survive the Nisse's cold waers and that fall off the world I knew. If Kegan is dead, I do not know what i will do. If I go back will they shun me?

I miss my friends, I miss Ellya. If Kegan is alive- what if he thinks I died and has moved on? Tis a thoguht that I have had. But I feel him, as if hes right here next to me. Tis a odd feeling.

My heart also desires to find Kyna and kill her. But she is a mother now, and I would not for the world put her children- her and Thoren's children through that. But the desire is very strong.

My only company has been Arda. But today I swore in thsoe moments that trained hunter whos name was Gabe, or at least thats what the heavily armored captain called him. I swore he saw me. Hidding in that tree. Itw as but a flicker of a moment but I still look over my shoulder to make sure I have not been followed.


Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully by the thri eve of this joruney I shall see the Nisse and be able to follow it to the west to find that place well I fell off the world. I hope then to make camp at the base of the falls and continue at dawn the next day. But we shall see how far I get. I have not slept. I have rested in the saddle but I shall not sleep, too much is at stake.

Rhydin is a day or so away now.The smell of blood rushes to my senses. That air of Rhydin. Old blood,new blood. Innocent and evil alike. It seems odd to me now as I sit out side looking in towards the great city that I felt such comfort there.But dispite all its faults I enjoy Rhydin. It is different from home,an escape.

I went there to escape Drake and my feelings for him but he followed me there. I left to find Kegan, and now wonder if the man I am bound to lies in Rhydin. There are dangers in Rhydin that do not sleep. Things Kegan would have never seen before. Myths and legends alike.

Dragons,deamons,vampires,zombies,humans,dark elves, gods it would seem sometimes. Karnil and I head back towards Rhydin on Kegans trail.. I ran in to Gabe again today. In the woods, he could have shot me, he could ahve taken me in to gain the bounty that lies upon my head. But he did not, he is elven at least in part,perhaps he feels some connection.
I do not deny that it is odd ,this sense I have aout him. I knew he had seen me the day long ago in the woods, but he did not give me up then. Karnil doesnt trust him, but it was soemthing in Gabes eyes. They seemed familar.

More so than just the fact that I have seen him before, it went deeper than that. Rhydin awaits me I have long wished to see those I know there again.

Kanril says he will not enter the city, I am to check aroun d the city and he will check around it for signs of Kegan. Karnil is a elf of the wild I can understand how the city can be forboding I recall what it was like when I first came there. But after all the darkness is brushed away and you sit at the bar or hearth in the inn you feel the warmth, of the people.

Not all are good and pure, but the lot that I have met have been nothing but kind to me. It is like another home for me.

Another wound, to add to all those that I have been delt over my few years.

My heart may be the one thing that can not take the torment any more, wounds of flesh and bone heal. But I do not know if thsoe wounds delt by Thoren,Kegan or even Drake though he delt far fewer than the rest can ever truly heal. I suppose it has made me stronger. This new wound upon my arm delt by a ceature not of human kind,one of thsoe gnarled things some of Rhydin would call a werewolf.

Gaur. I have seen many thing sin Rhydin heard many tales, and knwo that this city is not like Baris. While Baris ahd its share of bad people this city had those who would do more harm than good, creatures like Kyna that do not think.Nor od they care for anything but the hunt,the kill. And while I do understand the thrill that comes with the hunt,I can not udnersatnd the hunting of innocent lives.People will die,that is assured.

It just doesnt make sense to me any longer.I fight yes.For I would have no one be as clsoe as I was to becoming a salve in this dark city nor any where else. But perhaps some wish that life.

Kegan and I had our last fight. By now hes on his way home and perhaps Kanril ,Olvana and Gabe tried to stop him.But one thing I learned long ago was when Kegan sets his mind to something he will not stop.

::an idle glance was given to her right shoudler where that cricle of roses lied, those three roses and their dark circle. The hunt, the one thing that bound her to Tel Mandu Taure. But not the only thing that bound her to home. That tattoo on her low back would always remind ehr of where she came from, the fine blood line and all that was to be upheld.::

Ered Lithui has no meaning here. Nor does Eldamar Ennorath. No ones ever heard of those palces so far off now. Beyond the rush of the wild Nisse.But I could never forget them, they fill my dreams and my nightmares.Kyna and Thoren fill my nightmares, this new wound so much like the one Kyna delt to me,now it seems so long ago and no scar was left from that. No scar that anyone could see witht heir eyes at the very least.

Though my arm may not heal without a scar,scars tell much about the person who bares them.I made a chioce to stay ehre while my arm heals, Kegan will go home and soon Kanril will join him.But Gabe and Olvana will stay in Rhydin.Gabe and I have much to elarn about being a brother and sister and I would like to know more about Olvana.

I can not be upset about Kegan. He makes his choses and I make mine. I just wonder will I be able to part ways with the ring that he gave me, though tis nothing more than metal againt my chest now it once had more weight than that.


Some scars go too deep.

The morning is still new and I have been awake since before the dawn. I have been siting ehre just beyond the camp sight looking in tot hese woods as the light gathers within them.

I think of home. Of Ered Lithui and Eldamar Ennorath. Of my home where I was born and the lands in which that spine of ashen rocks lay.

I think og Gabe and Olvana, at home ther at last welcomed perhaps with open arms by Karnil and the Tel Eldalie of Tel Mandu Taure.

I think of Ellya, Karmil,Ty and Alderon I think of Kegan and Drake as well.

Perhpas I am doomed to end all my relationships badly.

Perhaps I did not take the risks I should have then, nor do I take them now. I dare not tell him how I have begun to feel. I twould eb to risky a venture to tell him now.

We follow the winds back home, back towards the Nisse and oddly closer to danger than we were on the road. Baris is along that Nisse , there below the fall of water in which I fell that led me here.

Yet he has not turned me in for the bounty upon my head. He had protected me.. and I still find that odd.

I see him stirring now,starting to wake. I am just beyond his view here behind this mighty willow tree. These woods ehre are old, and dark still even as the sun light fliters through...

what dangers lie within.. soon we shall see.