Topic: Letting go and moving on

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-07-29 00:03 EST



After berries were delivered to a friend, a little chit chat, and other assorted putterings around to forget a few things she'd rather not think on, Lydia had found herself at the fountain. Thinking on things she didn't want to think about. She was seated on the cobbles, arms crossed over the edge as she peered into the water lazily at her own reflection, and the glittering coins beneath it. Gods, how many had she tossed in there today with her silly wishmaking? She lifted a hand to sweep fingers through the surface of the water, distorting the reflection there. Back and forth, back and forth.

Sighing, hand eventually lifted out of the water, and arms were folded atop each other as they settled on the edge, and chin lowered to rest on them. "..wonder what you'd tell me to do if you were still here." Murmuring to herself, her gaze fell back to the water.

Harry unties Seaton from the lamppost, then notices that green hair again and walks the horse over to Lydia, remembering to keep the critter behind him. "Lydia... have you ever heard of a Malcolm Astedes?"

It was almost August! August meant it was almost fall! And she was so behind! So Erin came out of the Stitch, hands full of bags, yarn, needles sticking here and there, and she hurried through the market. "Procrastination.. never a good idea, E, what were you thinking?" Her voice was a mutter under her breath as she huffed her way towards the fountain.

Startled from her thoughts Lydia sat up, looking aside. And there was Harry. And that damned horse again! But... she's figured out he's harmless by now. Really. "..Malcolm Astedes.." She murmured the name, mulling it over as she rose to her feet, brushing her skirt off absently. "I can't say that I have. Sorry."

"F***." He gives her a quick nod, then goes to walk away and sees Erin. And while he doesn't remember her name, he does remember who she... er, was, before he shot himself. "Sebastian's wife! D'you know anyone named Malcolm Astedes?" Doesn't have time, at this moment, to be terribly polite. Sorry!

Brows lift a touch at the colorful word, but she returned the nod nonetheless. Sitting back down, she glanced back to the water, but blinked when she heard 'Sebastian's wife!' shouted out. Another blink then as pale blues shifted towards him and Erin. Where'd she come from? Huh.

He's a sailor; sadly, that's one of his fairly used words. Though, he's usually more polite in public, but he can feel time passing and it's not a good feeling right now. At all.

"Sebastian's...huh?" And everything she was carrying fell to the floor in an eruption of yarn and needles and puffballs. A frown down at the mess, then eyes raised to the caller and she furrowed her brow. She had thought she heard that he was... nevermind that, best to think on it later. She spots Lydia then too, and looks between them. "Malcolm...? No...?" Blinkblink, and a push of one yarnball with her foot.

For a minute she's back to pounding on the keys. Hey, she has a deadline. Ah, to heck with it. Grumbling under her breath, Ada gives a sharp yell from her office. She's got one of those annoyingly piercing voices when she yells. "Git back in here, whippersnapper!" Rare humanitarian moment for her. With crotchety-curmudgeon as the frosting on the cake.

Lips twist faintly. Second time today Harold made a girl drop her stuff. Tsk. To her feet, Lydia moved that way, bending down to collect puffballs and needles.

Harry shakes his head, then decides that he might as well try the RDI, since it seems like everyone ends up there. He's just about ready to jump back on the horse when Ada's voice cuts through the air and he turns back. "What?!"

"Git in here! Just git in here." She's not that great at doing the humanitarian thing. She's got the wrong voice for it. But she's a touch paranoid about lawyer-threats and the one minutes ago still gives her a heebie.

Erin blinked, shaking her head as she wasn't even given the courtesy of an explanation. Shoving yarn back in bags, she twists her lips in a half smile to Lydia. "Thanks... Looks like I can even mess up the market, huh?"

She glanced over her shoulder briefly to the shouting woman, then started collecting more things, standing to offer them over to Erin, ghost of a smile on her lips, just for a moment though. "Seems that way."

"Unless you plan on telling me where I can find this Malcolm, I don't have the time to waste." Not yelling, but his voice carries well. Someday he'll have the time to be polite and sweet and funny again. Today just isn't that day.

She takes what is offered and everything is getting shoved in the huge shopping bag she was carrying. "What's going on?" brows lift faintly at the yelling.

"Then git in here. Damnable whippersnapper, I oughta' put'cha over m'knee. Answer me, I'll answer you. Deal?" Hands on hips now, she's already up and standing in her doorway. Yes, bony as a fish, she is. Looks like the spinster she is.

"I'm not entirely sure." She had guesses, and knew the little bit Harry had told her earlier sure, but that wasn't hers to divulge. Instead, a little shrug was given and she turned to move back to the fountain, taking a seat on the edge.

Erin hoisted the bag again and then nodded her head at the fountain. "Want company? Or should I go back to the salt mines?" There was a wry smile as she peered over the bag. A turn of her upper body and she checked quickly to see what was going on with the woman.

He really doesn't have the time to dick around, but he turns and walks the horse back, ties him up then goes inside. "Make it quick."

"It's up to you. I don't really mind either way." One hand rubbed the other arm as she glanced down into the water, thoughts returning. Mental debates plaguing her. What ifs and doubts... lovely.

"First, learn manners t'yer elders, Boy. Sec'nd, why ya wanna' know anyways?"

Erin pursed her lips and tilted her head. She was quiet for a moment while she watched her sister. "Y'okay, dude?" She lowered the bag to lean it against the bottom of the fountain, but didn't sit yet. She wasn't sure if she felt welcome to stay.

"Oh for the love of Christ!" He throws his hands up and walks right back out. Ultimately, he knows he's gonna have to go back to the Maritime. In the meantime, he wants to find out what he can about these killings, and this... this... woman is giving him lectures on manners and asking questions. So he doesn't bother any more and unties Seaton and hops into the saddle and heads for the RDI.

Okay, first thing was first. Lydia blinked, then raised her brows at Erin. "...'dude'?" Trying to recall the last time Erin ever said that. If ever...

She shrugged. "Sorry. Hanging around too many Americans, I guess." But her lips pursed a little. Did she really miss Jordan so much that she started talking like him?

Americans? What? "Oh." Just nodding and pretending she knows what's what. "But no, I'm fine. Just thinking about-" Pausing, looking to Erin. "-things."

"Ah... things." She nods, knowingly. "Pesky, those things." Sure, she's kidding a touch, but really it's a wry comment. "Things you wanna talk about, or other things?"

"I.. dunno." Like a clam with her emotions and feelings she was sometimes. Shrugging, Lydia sifted fingers through the water a bit, causing ripples to dance on the surface. "Should probably but.." She trailed off, shaking her head. "We've changed a lot since we first met." Quiet, that.

Eyes closed for a moment and then opened and she nodded a touch, letting herself look out over the market. "Yeah. Those things again." A quiet statement as she shook her head a little.

She looked to Erin, opening her mouth as if to say something but didn't. Of course not. Instead, she just turned back towards the water. Safer.

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-07-29 00:04 EST
Erin watched and then sighed audibly. She shook her head again and bent for the bag. Her shoulders were a little slumped, when she stood back up with the bag and she kicked one foot, and then the other.

Fingers tapped inaudibly against the side of the fountain a moment as lips pressed together. Gaze down on the cobbles, she frowned faintly. "Sometimes I don't feel like I know you any more. And sometimes I feel like you don't know me anymore." There was a quality in the comment that seemed ..distant. "More recently than anything, but it's been building over time I think..." Taptap. Taptap "Back then, when we decided to become.." She trailed off, fidgeting her feet a little. "I think.. I did it for the wrong reasons. Not intentionally. Didn't even realize it then, but now that.." Shuffle. "I guess things are most clear in hindsight." That statement was more to herself.

Erin hiked the bag up, so that the mountain of stuff there hid her face. Her weight shifted from one foot to the other and back again and then repeated for all the time she was standing there. "...Yeah..." It was quiet enough. Her waist twisted as if she were just going to walk away, but she turned back so that it just looked like she was rocking in an odd way.

Both hands at her sides then, they gripped the side of the fountain tightly, causing knuckles to whiten. "Little feels right anymore." She hadn't any idea what else to say, what her point was, or anything. She hadn't exactly thought everything all the way through.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Erin wasn't mad, but she wasn't particularly calm, either. The bag was hiked up higher still, her arms tightening around it. Yarn threatened to spill, but luckily everything stayed in place. "I can't force you to--" She shook her head behind the bag and it rustled. "And I don't want to just--" Her head shook the other way.

She shook her head, still not looking at Erin. "I don't expect you to say anything, or do anything. I don't even know why I'm saying this. I don't know what I want, or what I don't want, or what the best... I.. I just don't know." Lip chewed briefly, she gripped the fountain sides harder. "Relationships, any kind, romantic or not.. they cant be rushed or forced. And we didn't know each other then. Not really, yet we were so quick to call each other sister, and place each other on a
pedestal of sorts... and become attached and dependant.. I think we both used each other for crutches. And we didn't mean it I'm sure, it just.. it happens sometimes.. I guess." She paused, briefly. "I don't know.. I just.. it's like.." She shrugged, somewhat defeated looking.

"I know." All her words were a little forced, a little jilted. Her weight moved from one foot to the other and back yet again. "I've tried not to... I don't know. You're probably the most important person in my life. And I'm not stupid enough to think that's mutual... I try to be the best I can be, but... I'm just bad at relationships. Don't worry about it." She took a step back, her voice was bordering on cracking, and there was no way she was lowering the bag.

She frowned, sighing almost inaudibly. "This.. doesn't have to do with being bad or good at relationships. And it doesn't have to do with anything you did or didn't do. It... I just tried replacing something-" Pause. "-someone I lost. I guess maybe in a way I figured if I had a sister, it meant I never lost one? I dunno..." Head hung a little as hands ran through her hair, eyes closed. "I'm not at all saying I want you out of my life either. That's.. I know that's not what I want. Maybe a little distance.. for now.. to figure things out? You *are* important to me, it's just.. we can be friends, and won't that be enough? Because.." She shook her head, elbows on knees, head in hands. "I don't have a sister anymore. It's time I accept that. It's time I move on. From everything. It's time for so many things.."

"Okay." A choked out response and the woman that had traded her face for a bag stepped back. "You know where to find me." She tripped over her own feet, dropping yarn to the ground, and it rolled away. Erin ignored it, getting her footing back. "I got, uh, I got work to do. I'm late." Weak lies with a cracked voice.

She knew the importance of space, so she wouldn't bother Erin with questions, or try to stop her, or confront her about the lies. She just nodded. She wouldn't look back up either. Couldn't. Not yet.

When she turned, her ears were the only visible part of her face and they were bright red. Almost the color of a cherry. She shuffled at an almost run-- the best she could do with the bag she was carrying. It was a long walk home, and so she was headed to the inn, and the back entrance, and the comfort of her little room. No knowing when she would emerge, either.

She sat there, for several moments. Quiet. No words, no sighs, no tears, nothing. After a good ten minutes had passed, and she was certain Erin was gone, she finally stood up. There was sadness, of course. It wasn't an easy thing to do. Pain too. But there was also relief. Glancing around momentarily, the green haired elf finally emitted a sigh as she turned to move away from the fountain, and over towards WestEnd.