Topic: Reminiscence and Recrudescence

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-06-14 21:29 EST
Rewind, dniweR.
Watch me turn around.
The Earth is spinning the wrong way
and the hourglass is working upside-down.

~Forever Until Tomorrow



Sitting alone, Lydia listened to those around her, pale blues cast down. One eye was nearly swollen shut from the impact she had received only hours before, and all too often she forgot her split lip, wincing in remembrance as she started worrying it with her teeth. A little sore to be sitting up under her own power, she leaned against her staff, hands nervously wringing it, causing skin to chafe a little.

"You may still save yourself yet human. Simply show your pentinence by giving us the names of the others who acted against the Holy Mother's child and tell us where we may locate them."

The silence was nearly deafening.

"Speak now human, it is the last act of mercy you will receive."

More silence. The one addressed would not talk.

"Very well then." Elys' voice, clear, light, and lacking emotion, cut in. "For your crimes against myself, The Sacrosanct and all it stands for, you shall be put to death tomorrow at dawn. I will make an example of you and show your people what happens when I am crossed."

"No!" Brows furrowed, Lydia supported her weight against her staff as she rose to her feet. "M-mother, you can't!"

"Child you will hold your tongue." Elys' voice was sharper now. "It is not your place to speak now, as I have already deemed judgment upon this man."

Brows furrowed, she shook her head. "I.. I.. it was me he attacked Mother! It is my place to speak..." Words were low, rather unsure. At sixteen, she was a rather meek thing. "Death is so harsh... Mother please..."

Elys' voice cut in, interrupting her. Her tone laced with disgust. "Don't beg me like that child. It is unseemly."

"But... he didn't succeed in.. I mean.. why does he have to die..?"

"I can see that I was wrong in thinking you were ready for this..." Elys grew quiet for a moment. "Lydia. Simply because he was not successful in his attempts, that does not nullify the attempt that he and his group made against you. I do not think you really fathom what happened, or what could have happened had your guardian not shown up when she did." There was a brief pause and silence, cut out by the quiet clicking of Elys's heels against the marble floor beneath her feet as she approached Lydia, words coming impassively. "Those men- this man- they would have beaten you even more than they already had. You would have ached, you would have cried, you wouldn't be able to move because your bones would have been broken and shattered. But are you truly naive enough to think they would have stopped there child?" Lydia felt Elys' cold hand grip her chin and jerk up so she was facing her, even if she could not see her. Lydia winced faintly at the gesture, as that was a spot on her face that had been hit. She winced at the words, apathetic from her mother's mouth. "You would beg for mercy, you would beg for them to simply kill you, but they wouldn't have listened. They would have ripped your clothes off, humiliated you, raped you, taken their turns with you until they were bored of you. And then?" Elys pulled Lydia closer, her face so close Lydia could feel her breath against her skin. "Then they might have been kind enough to kill you."

Frowning, Lydia tried pulling away from her mother, tried turning her head away from her, yet Elys' grip was firm, keeping her just where she was at. "Tell me, what were you doing sneaking away from Noreen?" A demand, not a question.

"I.. I.." Lydia was unable to find her words, and squeaked faintly when Elys' grip tightened, hands once again working on that staff. "I wanted to go to the gardens!"

"Hm." A noncommittal, near bored sound from Elys. Her hand drifted away from Lydia's face as she moved away. "And tell me Noreen, what is your excuse for not watching her properly and letting her get away from you?"

"I have none Holy Mother." The woman's voice was low, remorseful.

"I did not think so..." Heels clicked lightly as Elys moved around the room. "For your punishment you will be imprisoned in the dungeon for seven days and two meals shall be allotted to you every day. And for your punishment Lydia, you will be confined to your room for one month. Should you get any ideas to sneak out know this; I will make Noreen's punishment heavier, and I will punish those stationed outside your room. Perhaps if you become aware that the consequences of your rather selfish actions have an effect on others and not just yourself... Then you will learn."

Absolutely defeated, Lydia's eyes closed in an effort to fight back the tears forming as her head lowered. She offered her mother a very faint, very hesitant nod. She knew anything she had to say could only worsen the situation.

"You, escort Noreen and the prisoner to the dungeon. I will escort my daughter to her room personally."

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-06-15 01:30 EST
Be it a few minutes or a couple hours, Lydia wasn't exactly aware of how much time passed. She wasn't much aware of anything. Confined to quarters with little to do, she simply laid down to rest on her bed, careful of how she did even that though, considering wounds and bruises, neither of which had been tended to. She startled faintly to a light knock at her door, though made no move to answer it. Hearing the door handle turn and the door press open, she sighed and turned her head away from the door, not particularly in any mood for company.

Light clicks of heels against marble clued Lydia in that whoever was trespassing in her room was female. Her mother perhaps? No, that was a ridiculous thought. Hearing her bathroom door open and steps fade away into it, she furrowed her brow as she sat up in bed, turning that way. Head tilted curiously as running water was heard, then the sounds of steps returned, emerging from the bathroom to approach, and finally ceased as whoever it was, was standing right in front of her.

Lydia's lips parted as she was about to speak, but was silenced by the feel of a cold, damp rag against her wounded lip. Something else had been applied, more than likely a medicine of sorts, and caused the split in her lip to burn. She turned away from it to try and pull away, a reflexive gesture.

"Come now." Soft fingertips brushed against Lydia's cheek, gently trying to coax her closer. "You have to let me treat this the old fashioned way if you cannot handle a healing."

Pale blues grew wide, or at least one did, as they directed themselves towards Maria. "You don't have to look so surprised little sister." Rag brushed lips again, but Lydia resisted the urge to pull away at the burn this time. "I told you I would come by to see you, no? I'm making good on my promise, even if the timing seems to be poor." Maria paused, her fingertips running along Lydia's face as rag was moved to brush around that swollen eye. "You look something terrible... I had gathered something had happened, and the elves whisper amongst themselves even more than usual... They'd not share with me of course, but tell me?" A faint click and drag of heels indicated a shift and change of movement, before the bed sank in next to Lydia, supporting Maria's weight as well as she sat next to her. "What happened?"

Lydia's eyes closed, the cool rag upon the swollen one something of a comfort, as well as the presence of her sister. "It was.. it was nothing.. some people attacked me." A frown touched her lips then, next words coming quickly. "That's all.. nothing to get worked up about."

"That's all? How did these people get to you? Do you not have enough security around here? I'm sure if I were to tell father he could make arrangements and-"

"No!" Pale blues opened as Lydia shook her head, reaching out to grasp for her sister's arm. "Please don't tell daddy Maria? He'd only worry.. and.. and I've only myself to blame for this."

Rag was pulled away from her face as Maria brushed a hand over her head, smoothing out her hair. "Why do you say such a thing?"

"Because it's true.. and.. and now people will die because of me." A look of shame took over Lydia's features as she turned away from Maria, shaking her head. "One of the men in the group was caught.. and mother ordered him to die." Her voice was a whisper then. "Because of me..."

"Oh honey..." Maria's voice was sympathetic. She wrapped her arms around Lydia and pulled her close, still running a hand over her hair, petting. "It is not your fault. These people could have killed you, no? They have to be punished for such things..."

"Do you.. think something so drastic is necessary though?"

"I do." Maria's movements ceased and she grew quiet a moment. "It is about balance. You cannot be too lax, yet you cannot be too strict. If you are too lax people can see that they get away with anything, and they won't respect you, but if you are too strict then people will fear you, not respect you." Another pause, and her next words came low, at a whisper. "I adore Father, but you are like him.. too lax. And while I'm not... well, your mother certainly gets things done." There was faint bitterness and disdain in her voice. "When I rule Terone one day I'll have to rule with a certain amount of power, for if show levity or weakness, I will not be accepted as a ruler. Father is popular, but..." Maria trailed off, then leaned away from Lydia a touch. "Let's talk of something else, yes?"

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-06-15 01:44 EST
Brows furrowed, Lydia nodded, not a fan of the conversation. The idea of being a 'ruler' seemed a daunting thing. Decisions and judgments had to be made she felt she had no right to be making. She would be responsible for so many and yet she could barely take care of herself. She straightened and sighed a bit, rubbing nervously at her arms. "I.. I can braid your hair for you..?" A nervous habit, and Maria usually appreciated the results. It gave time for idle, light chit chat as well.

"That would be lovely little sister. You always do such a fantastic job with it." Maria's voice was light. One could hear the smile in it. She shifted a bit, and Lydia felt a crown being placed upon her head. "You would look lovely with one as well." Another shift. "Not with amethysts, rubies. Rubies would look best on you." Reaching out, Lydia's fingertips grazed the silk of Maria's dress before grasping gently at her hair. It always felt flawless, smooth. She took care running her fingers through it, pulling out jeweled combs and other assorted accessories to set aside.

"Rubies... they're red aren't they?" Hair was gathered from the top, just a little, as she started to braid. A more intricate braid than the norm, something akin to a French braid, but more complex in nature. She had plenty of practice.

"Yes. A brilliant shade of red usually. It's my second favorite color."

Lydia giggled to that. "Purple is your favorite though..." Another strand of hair gathered, pulled, looped, and twisted... "Maria... what's.. what's purple like?"

There was a moment of quiet, and a very faint sigh escaped Maria. "Purple is.. passion. I don't know how to explain it other than that." She paused a long moment then. "Red.. orange. They're warmth. Fire. Yellow is the sun on your skin. Blue is the feel of water against your flesh. Green is fresh grass. The scent, the feel. Purple is beyond all of that." Maria laughed, low and throaty. "Have you ever kissed a boy little sister?"

Hands ceased a moment as Lydia was caught off guard by the question. She could feel her cheeks burning. "N.. no." A moment's hesitation, and she resumed braiding.

"Should you ever kiss, you will know purple. It's the way your heart beats during it, that.. well, I don't think I can properly describe it for you. It's something you'll have to experience for yourself, yes?"

Lydia was silent as she continued to braid, faster now. She didn't speak again until she had finished, securing the end. "No boy would ever kiss me... I'm.. I'm repulsive."

Maria shifted once again, turning, and Lydia could feel her fingertips graze her cheek. "I'm not sure repulsive is the word for you little sister, but someday, I'm sure even you will find someone." Hand found hair again and toyed with it, wrapping it about fingers. "You are filling out a little bit. More than I thought you would."

Lydia wrapped arms about herself, a self conscious gesture. She was definitely what one would call a 'late bloomer'. "I'm.. I'm not.. I'm so skinny and.." She trailed off, frowning. Realization dawned upon her then, as something was remembered and a frown touched her lips. "The gala being held this month.. I can't make it.."

"Why ever not?" Maria pulled away from Lydia then. "You wouldn't disappoint father like that again would you?" There was annoyance in her voice as she spoke. "If you are worried about your face it'll be healed enough by then I can cover it with makeup, and father won't have to know you were attacked again."

Shaking her head, Lydia sighed. "No, it's.. it's nothing like that. Mother.. she's confined me to my room for the next month, so.. so I can't go."

"...what did you do this time?"

"I.. I snuck away from my guardian, that's when I was attacked.. and.."

"Oh Lydia..." Disappointment dripped from Maria's voice. "I can't begin to understand why you continue this rebellion of yours. Just as I have a duty to uphold with father and our people, you have a duty to uphold with your mother and your people. To continue on this path as you are now..." She trailed off, clicking her tongue softly.

"I.. I'm sorry.. I didn't think it.. I just.. I.." Brows furrowed as she struggled with her words, and tears that threatened her before had returned. "...I'm sorry Maria.. I don't mean to disappoint."

Lydia felt a stroke to her hair, and a bit of ease came at that. "Don't worry of it... It's not as if you can help it little sister." Hand drifted away once more. "Tell me.. did you ever recover the tome I asked for?"

Perking a bit, Lydia smiled and nodded before rising to her feet. Slow steps took her across her room and towards a bureau. She kneeled down and pulled the bottom drawer out completely to feel around inside. Hand brushed against rough leather before she gripped the book she was searching for and pulled it out. Drawer returned inside bureau, she then turned and returned to Maria, standing before her and holding the book out. "I.. I managed to get it without anyone noticing."

"Marvelous!" There was absolute delight in Maria's voice as the book was quickly pulled from Lydia's grasp. The sounds of pages being flipped through filled the air. "Oh.. I cannot believe you managed to acquire this. They don't have tomes like this in Terone's library.. or even in the castle." Heels clicked the ground quickly and the bed creaked with Maria's movement before Lydia felt a kiss pressed to her cheek, and the weight of the crown was removed from her head. "You are wonderful, dear little sister. Thank you, truly." Lydia was about to respond, but paused when she heard Maria's steps carrying her away, and towards the door. "I would stay longer, but I cannot keep the carriage driver waiting. Again, thank you, and do take care of yourself, hm? I'll not tell father a thing about the attack. I will just tell him you fell ill again. He'll worry, but not in the same way, as he's used to that by now."

Again, Lydia was about to respond but heels clicked quickly, and a door shut, leaving her very much alone once again.

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-06-15 15:59 EST
Water splashed as Lydia woke suddenly, having dozed off while soaking in a bath. The days of little to no sleep were catching up with her, and she could only fight for so long before losing. Lifting a hand, she absently grazed a cheek with fingertips and straightened, taking in her environment. It took a moment for things to process, and for her to realize what had happened. She took in a deep breath and sighed as her hand lowered and ran through the water. Not yet cold, but tepid, so she hadn't been asleep for that long. The desire to stay in the water was gone, as the temperature was too low for her comfort, so plug was pulled from the tub and set on the side.

As water drained she went through the motions of her regular routine. She stepped out of tub and onto the bathmat, dried herself off, combed hair, and exchanged towel for clothing. A simple outfit, short grey shorts and a white tank top. Bathroom exited, she crossed the hallway into the bedroom, letting her gaze roam a moment. The rather uninviting and empty bed was passed by as she wandered close to the window, peering out a moment before looking the actual window over, checking for any signs of attempted entry. A gesture fueled by paranoia.

Determined to stay up for the night, bedroom was abandoned for the kitchen where Lydia set to making herself a mug of tea, figuring it would help in keeping her awake, despite her fatigue. A strawberry flavor, as she was quite fond of strawberries. Mug in hand, she meandered out of the kitchen and into the living room to drop down onto the couch, sipping at the hot contents within.

Pale blues wandered over the coffee table. Occasionally something of a clutter bug, she had effectively taken over the table for the night, as various items of hers were strewn across it. The now dulling green notebook of hers that was starting to look a mess as many pages and letters stuck out of it's edges, the recorder she hadn't yet been able to use since his return, the Pride and Prejudice book Erin had brought her, some practice embroidery with the crooked purple flower on yellow fabric... it would all likely be cleaned tomorrow morning. Her messes were usually of the temporary variety, especially in a home that wasn't hers.

Noting the now empty mug in her hands, she sighed lightly and leaned over to set it aside on the table, adding to the array. Gaze settled upon the centerpiece of the table then, a small gardenia plant. One of two, as this one was split from the one she received months ago. A ghost of a smile touched her lips as she looked it over, making note of the various buds on it about to bloom. Not many at all though, two, perhaps three, though one had in fact already bloomed. Lydia grabbed the edge of the small pot and turned it over to see the flower better. A moment's consideration and temptation got the best of her and the lone flower was plucked from the plant, then lifted to her nose as she inhaled deeply, letting her eyes close as she sank back into the couch.

She missed flowers. She missed outside. It had only been a couple days, but confinement, self imposed or not, never settled well with her. She felt it necessary though, at least at this point. There was no way to be certain Fahl couldn't mask his magic, then she wouldn't be able to sense him. There was no way to be certain he couldn't even change scent, then Grem couldn't point him out either. At work, outside, in public, at the inn... she would have to be cautious of every new face, anyone she didn't recognize. It was a miserable feeling.

A frown touched her lips, and the scent of the gardenia was taken in again.

There was no way of knowing whether he would go after any of her friends again. He had already hurt Ivy, perhaps not really physically, but he hurt her nonetheless. What was to stop him from going after her other friends? There was the question that lingered.. whether to warn those she knew, or not? Consideration had her opting for the latter, as she felt the less involved, the better. Lydia already felt too many knew and were involved as it was. There was one, perhaps two she didn't mind knowing. There was guilt in that as well, but she knew very well she couldn't handle certain things alone, not even now.

Another inhalation, lighter this time, before hand holding the gardenia dropped some.

Keeping herself locked away from the outside world wasn't entirely practical either. She couldn't have people shouldering her life for an indeterminate amount of time. She would have to work again, start feeding her own cat again, leave the apartment again...

Perhaps tomorrow. Perhaps not.

Grip on the flower in her hand loosened, letting it fall from fingers to her lap. She slumped to the side, just a touch, sleep having finally won out.