Topic: Tableaux

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-10-28 01:44 EST
Beginnings

There was entirely too much going on in her mind for her to sleep, or even rest comfortably in bed. Sighing quietly, she pushed herself up, shoving covers aside and off of herself. They felt scratchy and itched her skin, and smelled old; almost like mildew. She didn't mind though, not really. At the Sacrosanct everything was kept so clean, so flawless- so pristine. Few things in there had a perceptible scent. That, accompanied with the deafening silence she was subjected to day after day there got to her at times, made her feel as though it was chipping away at her sanity. To simply be without feeling, without having any senses stimulated, to be so alone and feel in the middle of nothing? The scent of mildew was almost a joy.

Bare feet quietly rested against the floorboards as she leaned over the bed to feel around for her boots. Grabbing those, she was quick about slipping them on, trying not to make too much noise and taking care with securing the second boot- just a little bigger than the first, so a little big on her oh so small foot. After that, she stood up, wincing when a floorboard beneath her creaked. She really was hoping to make an exit without drawing any attention to herself... It wouldn't do to get caught. Breath held in, she crossed the room quietly as she could, fingertips trailing along a table to keep herself from bumping into it. Arriving at the door, she stopped to reach out and grasp for her staff where she had left it before, but only managed to grab air.

"You shouldn't be leavin' on your own ya know."

Wincing as her cousin's voice broke the silence, she frowned a little at her words. "I.. I wasn't going to wander off or anything. I just wanted to step outside to get a little air." She lowered her gaze as she wrang her hands together. "...that's all."

She heard her cousin sigh lightly, a moment of silence filling the gap between that and her next words. "That's not exactly safe to be doin'... if ya wanted to get out of here you could have told me. I can walk you somewhere." Feeling her staff brush against her fingertips, she took it and held it close to herself, lightly wringing her hands against it. "But there's not much around here worth se- There's just not much around here."

She gripped at her staff a little tighter, frown growing. She didn't want to be walked anywhere, she just wanted a few moments to herself in this new place, to breathe in the air, to experience something new. Women at the age of twenty two shouldn't need escorting everywhere, not even her. She wasn't an invalid, as much as people wanted to treat her as such. "I was just going to step out Katarina... just for a few minutes... Please?"

"I wouldn't be doin' my job if I just let you wander wherever."

That stung. Her cousin wasn't even doing this out of genuine concern or love. It was a job. Duty. She was nothing more than an assignment- a burden to her. She would have argued the point more if she thought she stood a chance of winning, but her cousin was the stubborn type, so she was quick to acquiesce, hoping for a compromise. "Well.. you said you'd walk me somewhere, right? We could, um, go out somewhere then? I was talking to someone who stayed here about another inn somewhere. They said it doubles as a tavern too.. I think they said it was called Red Dragon...? Something like that... It sounded interesting. Could we go there?"

"I dunno..." She could hear the irritation brewing in her cousin's voice. "Ya really wanna go there? I mean, if people are staying here rather than there, I imagine that place is a worse junk hole than this place. We only got another week or so to stay here... ya can't just wait it out a little longer?"

She was growing a little angry, and try as she might to not let it show in her voice or on her face, she most likely failed. "Either we both go somewhere or I just go alone... you can't stay awake all hours of every day." Frowning, she straightened in her posture a little. "I just.. I can't stay here. Not in one spot all the time like this... they always make me do that at the Sacrosanct Katarina... I want to get out while I have the chance. I have to sneak around when I'm there and.. and it's just not fair." Blind eyes rose a little, towards where she heard her cousin shuffling about. She thought that maybe she, of all people, would understand, given her own personal circumstances.

It was a long moment then, the silence shared between them. She bit her lip, wanting to say something else, but she had already said it all hadn't she? Finally, she heard another sigh escape her cousin, lighter than the last. "Fine. We can go. Just not for too long, okay?"

Well, that perked her right up! In a rare moment she smiled widely, nodding somewhat excitedly "Okay, that's fair. Thank you Katarina..." The smile was quick to fade however, before she reached out for the doorknob, and once she took hold of it she gave it a twist and was quick to step out of their room. She continued onwards, down some stairs, careful to use the railing as a guide, and mentally counted the steps she memorized for the door leading out. She heard her cousin behind her stepping quickly to keep up, so she wasn't too worried about leaving her behind.

Once outside, she paused, leaning on her staff as eyes closed and she inhaled deeply. The scent of Rhydin wasn't at all like the scent of Veian. This time of year in Veian she could sometimes smell gardenias in the air if the breeze caught the gardens right, but not here. Here the air was a little.. dirtier? Nothing floral caught in the air, she did catch the light scent of something baking somewhere. Perhaps from a vendor somewhere. Delicious as it smelled though, it was bittersweet, since she knew it was likely something she couldn't consume without getting sick.

"We should probably be hurryin'." Her cousin's irritated and impatient tone was low. "Where's this place at anyways?"

Eyes opening, she turned to face her cousin's general direction, corners of her lips almost reaching up in a smile. "I think it's this way.." Quiet words were offered before she turned to her left and started down the street, staff kept ahead of her.

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-10-28 04:40 EST
Lovers

The sound of a lute in the air drew her deeper into the woods, her pace quickening the further she walked. Her feet and staff kicked and knocked leaves on the ground about with faint whispers and rustles, and the occasional twig that caught in her hair or brushed against her face was pushed aside. Pausing, she tilted her head to one side, slowly, then the other side. A left turn was made to draw closer to the origin of the lute she heard. A bit too quickly though, so she nearly clunked her head on a large, low tree branch. Luckily, an outstretched hand had caught it first so she knew to duck beneath it.

"Gwydion?" Her voice quiet as she called out, brows furrowed as she turned one way and then another. When the sound of the lute faded and she heard the rustling of leaves where she once heard the former, a rare grin was worn and she turned that way.

"Hey babe. I was starting to think you weren't going to show up." She heard him moving her way and couldn't help but move towards him herself, her free hand held out. Unlike most others she had rare contact with, he was warm to the touch. Eyes fluttered shut then, as she relished that touch and warmth when his hands easily took hers in them.

"I'm sorry Gwydion... it was hard to get away this time. Noreen sometimes doesn't mind, but she had to stay back at the Sacrosanct to take care of some things for Mother... So it was Augustus who accompanied me here and he's..." She trailed off, shaking her head. He would know exactly how Augustus was about letting her wander off by herself. Much less to spend time with a human. She didn't dwell on those thoughts though. It had been too long... "I've missed you..."

"I've missed you too babe." She smiled when he squeezed her hand, lifting it so his lips lightly brushed against her knuckles. "..how long do we have this time?" His words came somewhat hesitantly.

She knew she should probably be getting back soon. Now probably. The consequences for this outing wouldn't be pleasant, but she felt as if enduring them would be worth it. "It's been a month since we've been able to be alone together like this.. hasn't it?" A rhetorical question, she sighed a little before he could respond, leaning into him, her forehead resting against his chest. "I don't plan on going back for a while..." It had taken her too long to be able to take a trip to Rhist. She didn't do that just for five minutes with him...

"You sure about that babe..?" Her head tilted to the side just a touch when his fingers sifted through her hair. Isolated most of the time, she craved the contact. "I mean, I don't want to get you in any sort of trouble." She caught the twinge of guilt in his tone, mirroring it with a faint frown. She would get in trouble for this, and it certainly wasn't the first time. She figured he knew that, but it was her choice.

"It's no trouble Gwydion..." She whispered it as she leaned back a little, enough to lift her eyes in his direction. "I'd rather be here. If I could just stay here with you.. in Rhist.. and never go back? I never would." She paused then, her next words coming somewhat tentatively. "Do you ever think it'll be like that Gwydion? One day life can be normal for us...? I'll just live here with you, and never have to go back." The thought brought a smile to her lips, even if it was something of a dream. "I'll be free, and we'd never have to spend so much time apart ever again..." She waited for a response from him. Any response. But it never did come. She laughed softly, bitterly, as her hands pulled from his and wrapped around him, drawing him closer as she forfeited her staff to the ground. "I should know better than that shouldn't I?"

"It's not-" His words ceased rather abruptly. Silence came as she felt him pull her closer. "Even if it's never.. quite like that, that's okay isn't it? It's rare for things to be perfect between people. What we have, even as is.. it's a whole hell of a lot better than what others have- or don't have. Even if this isn't normal, even if we never have that, we'll have each other. That's what counts, isn't it?" A rhetorical question of his own there, she didn't have time to respond before she felt his lips brush against hers, feather light and fleeting all too quick as he pulled away.

"..it is." Her words were uncertain at first, though she smiled, nodding as she spoke them once more. Confidently this time. "It is." It wasn't easy though, but she didn't need to voice that. It couldn't have been easy for him either. To see him so rarely, always in private, always on her own terms- there was always guilt eating away at her for it. Aside from her father, he was all she really had, genuinely and truly. But he had the opportunity to have so much more. He couldn't really have that with her though, could he? He deserved so much better than this life; than her.

"You okay babe?" Hearing the concern in his tone break through her thoughts, she gave him a reassuring smile, hoping to alleviate any worry he might have for her. "It'll work out. Things always have a funny way of doing that." A quick kiss was delivered to her forehead then, before she felt him pull away, hand sliding down her arm towards her hand to grasp it and give a gentle tug. "Come on. I wrote a new song I think you might like. It's easy to play too, so I thought I could teach you how to play it."

"Really?" She couldn't help but grin at that, on the verge of letting laughter bubble out, yet it never quite came to the surface. "I didn't think you'd ever let me touch your lute again after last time..."

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-11-01 02:13 EST
Choices

As soon as the words escaped her, she closed her eyes to fight back the forming tears and lowered her head. She regretted them already, and much as she wanted to take them back, it was too late for that. She said them. It was done. It was over. She had made her choice.

It was the hardest choice she ever had to make, and there was so much to take into consideration. Her own personal feelings in the matter; her own thoughts and desires. Her own dreams even. Then there was...him, and his feelings not only for her, but for her sister. Her sister's feelings for him... and for her. They were both two she loved more than anything or anyone, but she couldn't have both anymore. It wasn't anyone's fault, not really, just an... accident? The heart isn't such an easily controlled thing. If it was, things would be so much easier, all of this could have been prevented, but this wasn't a situation of 'if'. It just 'was'.

So when she had to make the choice- she chose her sister. How could she not? How could she be selfish and hold on to him? How could she even be happy with him, knowing it would bring heartache to her sister? Every moment with him would have been tainted with guilt. No. This way? They could be happy, and she'd not lose her sister. Even if... even if she lost him for herself.

The silence they shared then was rather unbearable; a bit more than unnerving. She couldn't even hear him breathing anymore in the dead quiet of the woods. Never had she felt so far away from him, even though he stood right in front of her.

Finally, she just couldn't take it. "Gwydion." It came out apologetic, not much more than a whisper. "I'm.. I'm so sorry..." Tentatively she reached out, lightly touching his shoulder. "But it-"

"Don't." He spoke up suddenly, cutting her off- voice low, firm, full of warning. She had never heard him sound like that before, and it caught her a bit off guard.

"I..." Her voice cracked a bit, and she finally opened her eyes to lift them up. "Please understand... this isn't what I wanted... but it's best for everyone... isn't it?" She swallowed a lump back in her throat, as tears finally fell. "I'm so sorry Gwydion..." Weak creature that she was, even now she craved the strength he always gave to her in her moments of weakness. Stepping closer, she leaned into him as she rested her head against his chest. "I'm so so sorry..."

There were no words from him, even as she felt him grip her upper arms a bit too tightly. She squeaked quietly, more in surprise than the actual physical pain as he pushed her back rather forcefully. Her foot caught something on the ground at just the wrong angle and she went plummeting down into the ground, wrist snapping lightly as she tried to catch herself. It didn't do much good, obviously, since she was a rather small and frail girl ... terribly stunned at the moment too, that he would use physical force of any kind against her. A part of her almost expected more, so she cowered right where she laid, not moving, not saying a thing- even ignoring the sharp pain in her hand and wrist- but nothing else came. Just silence, and even that was broken when she heard him move away, branches cracking and leaves crunching beneath his feet until she heard nothing else.

She made her choice.

Lydia Loran

Date: 2007-11-02 16:06 EST
Blue

Lips pursed, Lydia examined the items laid out on the various vendor's tables. Most, like the fine metals and jewelry set out were way beyond anything she could afford, but they were still pretty to look at. Part of her wanted a closer look at a pretty garnet necklace, but the gnome who manned that particular table was shooting her some nasty looks as she reached out for it. Some vendors were like that- Look but don't touch. Not if you weren't going to be buying anything at least, and looking at her? It was obvious she didn't have a lot of money to be buying jewelry. Offering a halfhearted smile to the little gnome in the pointy hat she withdrew her hand, moved around someone else looking over the jewelry and down the tables, to another vendor's area.

This particular table had fabric swatches laid out all over it, and was the reason she had come to the market today. Lydia had plans for a few things she wanted to make and try to sell at the market herself, she was just running out of fabric. She reached down, letting fingertips trail over the various swatches, head tilted curiously. She hadn't any idea what she wanted, but one fabric did catch her eye. It wasn't particularly fancy in texture or appearance, but she found herself particularly fond of the shade of blue. Smiling to herself as she picked up the sample, Lydia turned it over and back again, lips pursed in contemplation. Decision made, she turned to search out the one selling the fabrics, but the only thing she saw was a lone feather peeking out from behind the table, swaying to and fro.

"Ah, excuse me?" Lydia started to lean foward to get a look at whoever was down there but jumped back with a startled yelp when they suddenly popped up in a blur of blue. The one who popped up looked rather young to be peddling things at the market by herself, honestly, but she didn't seem to mind. Her smile was just so... beyond cheery. The smile never wavered as she regarded Lydia, particularly the green locks, as she reached up to flip the feather in her beret out of her face.

"Heya! I take it ya want a roll of that? Bouncing on toes, the little blonde elf reached out to snatch the fabric swatch from Lydia's hands, briefly looking it over with a light giggle. "That's a real good choice!" Beaming, she held it next to the fabric from her own clothing to show off the similarities between the two. Before Lydia had much of a chance to say anything, the little blonde and bouncy elf disappeared under her table. She could only hope it wouldn't be too expensive then, as it seemed she'd be buying a roll of that particular fabric...

Suppressing a sigh, Lydia's gaze wandered around momentarily, pausing on a man standing a couple feet from her, the one looking over jewelry. He was grumbling and mumbling in aggravation as he tried to get his lighter to work, presumably to light the unlit cigarette that hung loosely between his lips. Finally giving up, lighter was snapped closed and dropped into a pocket before he lifted his gaze, speaking up as he did so. "Someone got a light?"

She waited a couple moments before speaking up, pale blues a touch lighter in color. "Ah.. I can light it I suppose." Though smoking? A small part of her wanted to 'tsk tsk' at people for that. Grem may have been a werewolf and it wouldn't exactly cause him much harm, but she doubted every person she saw smoking, like Erin, could say the same. She was just about to reach up to try and light his cigarette, but winced as the gnome she saw earlier suddenly started yelling.

"What da hell ya doin'!?" The gnome glowered down beneath his table, shaking a fist indignantly. "Ya can't store things under my table! It's my space, get out from there!"

"Oh shut up David!!" Screeching at the gnome, the bouncy blonde elf popped up from beneath his table, holding a roll of blue fabric. "It's not like yer storin' anything of use down there and I needed more room for my stuff!" She pointed beneath the table with a free hand.

The gnomes plump and naturally rosy cheeks and nose turned a bright crimson as features twisted in anger. "What!?" He took a step forward, invading the personal space of the little elf.

Snickering in absolute delight at his reaction, the blonde elf beamed a grin down upon the gnome. "What? Ya can't hear me all the way down there?" She leaned down, grinning still, her own face mere inches from his.

Lydia and the man with the unlit cigarette watched, wordlessly, as the scene unfolded. It was like a wreck on the street where a carriage tipped over- you just couldn't look away. Lydia wasn't terribly thrilled about the prospect of a fight breaking out though, so eventually, she did speak up. "Ah, hey, there's no need to fight, yeah?" She did her best to offer the blonde a smile. "And the fabric looks great, I'll take that roll. I'm just in a hurry, so..." She trailed off, hoping she'd lay off the gnome.

"Huh?" The blonde looked towards Lydia, blinking, then waved her hand almost dismissively as she approached. "Oh, right, yeah yeah, I'm hurryin'."

Situation seemingly diffused, the man with the unlit cigarette cleared his throat lightly, causing Lydia to look back that way. Right! She had nearly forgotten. A sheepish look sent up his way, she was about to light his cigarette, however.. fate had other plans that day.

The little blonde elf had leaned against her table, jotting something down on paper when a light wind picked up, sending the feather in her beret wafting over towards the green haired elf. Lydia's nose wriggled as the feather lightly brushed against it, and there was just no fighting it. She had to sneeze. Which normally wasn't such an awful thing, but she was in the midst of lighting a cigarette, and her magic had been a bit... fritzy lately. Lucky for the cigarette man, she turned head and hand away as the sneeze, some sparks, and flakes of fire escaped her. However...

Unfortunately for the gnome, he had set to stalking towards the blonde from behind, with every intention of delivering a boot to her backside. That put him in the right, or is that wrong? spot for his hat to catch those sparks though. Gods, that had to be the most flammable hat too, because the tip erupted into flames almost immediately.

"Oh Gods!" Lydia was horrified and mortified, eyes wide on the gnome who seemed unaware. "Your hat! Take it off!" She pointed outwards towards it, almost frantically. And the cigarette guy? He had long made his retreat. A man with good sense, that.

The blonde had seen what Lydia had done and lips pulled back in a grin all too big for her face, her bright blue eyes forming little crescents as she regarded the green haired one. "That was awesome!" Forgetting about the gnome, she looked to be in absolute awe over Lydia. "How did ya do that anyways?"

The gnome sniffed at the air, and realizing what was up? He was in absolute state of panic, shouting and running around in circles as he flailed about. "Someone save me! I'm bein' burned alive!"

Lydia hadn't really heard the blonde elf, still being absolutely horrified over the fact she just accidentally set someone, or rather, their hat, on fire. But still! What if she had set him on fire!? Frowning, she was about to try to vault over the table to try to get closer to him and help out, before the fire moved from hat to gnome, but fortunately the blonde finally decided to act. With a sigh she reached over and knocked the hat off his head and to the ground where it continued to burn. The gnome was unscathed, but the shiny bald spot on his head was revealed to the world.

Laughing at the burning hat and then the bald spot the little blonde turned back to Lydia, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "That was a really neat trick Fire."

Lydia Loran

Date: 2008-04-12 22:16 EST
Thunder

She hated sudden or loud noises. She always had. Growing up without being able to see, it was her ears she relied on to let her know if something was coming, drawing close to her. But something sudden gave her no time to prepare and always caught her off guard. She always winced, cowered- withdrew from it. The best she could at least. A door slamming into a wall, a sudden shout or yell, something being dropped and shattering. She always felt foolish for it afterwards for it too. A slammed door, or shouting, or something breaking would do her no harm, but then again, neither would thunder. Nevertheless that was just a fear that she could never really overcome.

Over the years, her fear of thunder alleviated, certainly. But the fear never left completely, even now in her adult years. When thunder boomed and rang out throughout the sky she still winced and cowered, still had the fear show in her eyes. Much like anything else she found hard to deal with she wanted to run away from it, but one can't really run away from thunder can they? So much like anything else she found hard to deal with, she had to wait it out.

Tonight was hard though. The thunder had come, but it wasn't fading or dying out. She felt there was no moment of solace from the constant crashing in the skies outside. Attempts to keep busy and sew weren't working either, and ended in too many pricked fingers. Pacing certainly hadn't helped either, and simply encouraged her nervous energy.

Finally, she came to a pause in front of her closet door- even managed a touch of a smile at some memories of her childhood. When in the care of her father, whenever it stormed she would hide in a closet. Unlike her mother or the elves who would chastise her for such actions her father would huddle down in the closet with her and wrap his arms about her and hold her close as the storm passed.

Sighing wistfully she opened the door leading into her closet; decently sized and not too packed. Another crash of thunder outside send a shudder through her body and without another thought she slipped in, pushing clothing and boxes aside to make room. With just barely enough adequate space for her form she crouched down and took a seat, intending to wait out the storm as she had so often done as a child...

Lydia Loran

Date: 2008-09-06 15:09 EST
Parents

It was the warmth of sunlight that awoke the five year old. Turning in her bed, Lydia absently grasped for the stuffed animal by her side, smiling when her fingers sifted through the soft fur on its long, floppy ears. A rabbit, her father had called it. Sleepy eyes remained shut as she pulled her stuffed rabbit closer, hugging it close. She was never allowed such an item by her mother. Her room at The Sacrosanct was rather sparse, but her father kept things around her room at his castle for her to play with. It was rare her attention wandered away from the rabbit, however, as it was a favorite.

"Morning." Her voice was soft and singsong, if a little off key, as she addressed her rabbit. She gave it another hug before letting go, so that she could finally reach up and rub the sleep from her eyes. Her large yawn went uncovered as she sat up and opened up her eyes. It was quiet within the castle, but she could hear some activity, even through the doors and walls that currently separated her from it. Normally she would have hopped right out of bed to locate her father, but she wasn't feeling terribly good.

Lydia's small body still ached with a fever she had had for quite a few days now. The aches had settled back in as she sat up, causing her to moan quietly. Rather defeatedly, she laid back down, frown on her face as she reached out for her rabbit to snuggle to. She didn't like being sick, but most children didn't, though she was sick far more often than other children were. It didn't seem fair to her, but a lot of what she went through didn't. The positive of being sick, this time at least, was that she got to remain in her father's care for longer than usual. She didn't have to go back to The Sacrosanct since she was in no condition to travel.

She stirred a bit, when she heard her door slowly creak open, and a bright smile plastered itself upon her face when she heard heavy footfalls, in spite of the pains and aches she currently suffered through. At The Sacrosanct she'd know it to be one of the many elves responsible for her care, but never her own mother. Not even when she was ill. Here? Every morning, it was the same person who greeted her and took time to personally tend to her.

"Daddy." Lydia's voice was weak, but still carried an undertone of excitement to it. She was always happy to spend time with her father, as it was all too rare that she was able to.

"Good morning, little love." The bed shift a little beneath her father's weight as he sat. "Are you feeling any better this morning?" His hand felt cool to her, as he lightly touched her forehead.

"A little." Lydia nodded as she hugged her rabbit. "But I still don't feel that good... I don't have to go back yet, right?"

It took a moment before her father responded. "No, you don't." With a sigh he smoothed back some of her hair. "You still feel rather feverish. I think more bed rest is in order for you." She moaned in protest, hating to have to lay around so often. "I'm sure you'll be feeling much better after some rest, Lydia. When the time comes I'll take you outside to the gardens - you and your sister both."

Talk of her sister and the gardens had Lydia smiling rather gleefully up at her father. "Really? I'd like that daddy." The glee was short lived, before another ache wracked through her body. She groaned quietly as she laid back down and rolled to her side.

A long moment passed before her father spoke again, his words quiet. "Try to rest, little love. I'll bring you your breakfast shortly, okay?"

"Okay..." Lydia's eyes shut as she felt her father press a kiss to her head. It wasn't long after, that she drifted back to sleep.