Lydia had been relieved to find out Erin didn't hold anger or resentment towards her regarding her departure from the city. In fact, after her letter to Erin, she received not only a letter in return but presents for Christmas as well; cookies and a journal. Though this second journal was nothing like the first she had received from the englishwoman. Purple leather and trimmed in gold, this journal was only one of two, magicked to the other half of itself that Erin held. What was written in one, showed in the other, what happened to one, happened to the other. It really was a sweet gesture, but Lydia hadn't planned on using the thing any time soon.

That was, until she heard from Erin again.

The news that Jake had nearly died was certainly a shock to the green haired elf. Of all people, she hadn't expected anything to happen to Jake. He was so.. peaceful, stayed out of trouble, kept to himself and worked to better things for people. So to nearly be taken away in an accident? It snapped her out of her own current despair, at least for the present, and forced her to focus on him. On Erin. Gods, the fact she was so far away now caused her to curse herself. She needed, wanted, to be there for Erin. And that is exactly what she intended to do. Preparations made, Lydia wanted to send word to Erin quickly, but a letter wouldn't be quick enough. There was no guarantee Erin would look in her own journal, but it wouldn't stop Lydia from trying to pen a message to her friend.


1-03

Erin,

I got your letter about Jake this evening. Gods, I'm so sorry that I'm not there with you right now. Or able to see Jake. I hope he's recovering okay, I know how much he means to you- to a lot of people. I'll be there tomorrow though. It's too late for me to depart tonight, but I've already made my preparations and packed up, so I'm going to set out first thing in the morning. I should be back in Rhydin sometime in the evening, and I'll make my way to Jake's as soon as I get there. Whatever you want or need of me now, it's yours. I'm sure it's all going to be okay though, he'll pull through. He's a really tough guy, and you being there for him will help him I'm sure.

Don't forget to take care of yourself too, Erin.

~Lydia

1-21

I sat down to write in my journal, but I couldn't really get the words to flow there. I shouldn't be surprised though, I'm terrible with words and thoughts. You'd be mad, I have a bed and yet I don't use it, even now when The Stitch is set to open in a couple hours. I tried to sleep earlier and I couldn't so I occupied myself in other ways. Found a letter from Glenn, actually. I suppose it was delivered when we were busy and it got misplaced, doesn't really matter. I had honestly thought our friendship was over, like mine and Carley's. I'm sure she's pretty set with how she feels about me now. She's never been this angry for so long at me.. That's just another thing to accept. Not only have I lost Grem, but I'm losing friends as well. At least I think me and Glenn will be okay. I nearly had a meltdown at the inn the other night. I guess I didn't take too well to the fact he is, or was, angry at me for leaving. It made me feel like things like love and friendship were conditional. I do something wrong and it gets held over my head and used against me, like nothing else matters - If I've ever done anything to make you feel that way... I'm really sorry. Rena was there though, kept me together.

This house is beautiful now, and it still doesn't feel like home to me. It's no fault of yours, and I appreciate everything you've done in regards to making it more livable, but I'm having a hard time feeling any fondness for this place. I guess things are just feeling more finalized, and more set in stone. I really did have hope before, even if it was small, that things would somehow work out, but it's not going to. I'm going to move everything from my room at the inn here, and that's going to be it. I'm going to live here in this big empty house, and sleep in an empty bed every night. It's still hard for me to accept that, the way things are now.

I'm not sure why I'm writing all of this here. Maybe I'm going crazy or something, I dunno. It's nights like these I want to go and try to 'fix' it all, but there's no way for me to do that is there? It's maddening, sometimes feeling like there's something I can say or write to him to make things the way they were before, but knowing there's not.

I hate feeling lost like this. It makes me wish there was a way to shut off my emotions and be done with it. That's got to be so much easier..