This book is bound in hard leather, colored a vibrant green, with a darker imprint design, that is both intricate and beautiful. This book, as long as it is wide, had a variety of other papers being used as book marks, others cut and pasted onto the pages, while other pages are just that, pages that have been written or drawn on.

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The contents within are quite wide and varied, ranging from spells she had copied out of her adoptive mother's own book, spells she had come across during her time in Rhy'din, journaling about things that she felt were key points in her life. There were notes on plants, shadow magic, blue magic, several various other magics, demons, memory loss, all the recipes for potions that Mach had given her, and a few of her own, along with many many other things.

Slowly, over the past few years, she had been building a book that she hoped to use and reference through the rest of her existence... no matter how long or... brief it may be. There was no doubt either way, that she planned to continue and expand the book.

The following posts are pages, notes, and excerpts, all recent and old, are from Zynn's book of shadows.

September 14th, 2015

I am truly exhausted.

There is no other way to put it, after everything that transpired this weekend. For some reason, my brother went back to New York, and Beleth managed to snag him, and posses his body. Which means he has complete control of my baby brother to do what ever he wishes to do with. I can't.... I don't want him to have to watch his hands do the things that Terry had to watch and endure his hands do. As much of a dick my brother can be sometimes, that is too cruel of a thing for him to endure. But my brother, when he's back to himself, is in for the ass kicking of a lifetime.

And why should he suffer because of something that is my fault? At least that's what Beleth says. That this is my fault. That I am to blame because I did not, would not play to his whims and come up with a ritual that would release him from My adoptive mother's bonds. And as always, my mind runs away with the 'What if's' and could have beens. Perhaps neither Rinn or I would be in this predicament. Perhaps things would still be bad, if not worse. It is all hypotheticals, or perhaps breaking points for different dimensions of yourself, if you believe in that kind of weird stuff. But thinking about all of that is null and useless. It does nothing to change the present day and the situation I find myself in at the moment.

Terry, the face of my nightmares for some time now, is currently inhabiting my living room, and does nothing but sit there all day. Sullen and uncaring. It worries me, especially since he asked me to kill him shortly after I woke him in his bed. I don't wish to come home and find him dead in my living room. There is something more broken in him then there is in me. You can see it in his eyes. They're dull and listless. His spirit is gone, and he's wallowing in self pity, letting it swallow him up. I know, because that was me, nearly two and a half years ago. I feel it in sympathy, the will to live, the urge to simply give up and end it all. Guilt so heavy it suffocates you to where it's hard to breath, and your vision is so narrow you feel like you're in a tunnel.

I know I have felt that before. So I am going to help him. He deserves a chance I think, to have a life of his own. I just have to convince him that he deserves it.

The demon that has been terrorizing my family since way before I could even remember (ha) is currently making a home out of my brother and wearing him around as a meat suit. I wish I knew where he was. I wish I could physically remove him from my brother, and destroy him in a way that he'll never recover from. I wish I had that ability and that it was just that simple. But it's not.

I've come to realize, as much as I've denied it, in fear of someone getting hurt while trying to fight my battles with me, that I can't... I can't do this alone. I can't stop Beleth from continuing on what ever psycho destructive path he's trying to make through my life, by myself. So I asked Cane and Mach for help.... I just hope that I do not come to regret it, as I won't be able to forgive myself if something bad happens to either one of them. And I worry. But that is just because of who I am.

I have to catch a break here somewhere. Soon. I'm not sure how much more I can handle before I start to lose a little sanity.