Topic: Let It Burn

The Redneck

Date: 2012-10-09 10:18 EST
Simple words really. A total of four strung together in such a way as to indicate the closing of a door.

Odd as she was, the closing of that particular door did not mean the closing of all. Just those most important, and some of the most well guarded.

She'd admitted to someone recently that tenderness could destroy her as easily as intentional cruelty, and it could take twice as long to heal from. It hadn't been tenderness that put her back to the wall enough that she'd made this choice. Tenderness she could learn to trust; intentional cruelty she would not abide.

"You are not welcome." Four words spoken under her breath while standing in front of the steamed over mirror in her bathroom. Four words spoken on the back of air, with the cut of steel beneath to serve the lines. Four words spoken, and miles away, four talismans went dead.

The Redneck

Date: 2012-10-09 11:24 EST
Then, and only then, with water streaming from her hair and steaming from her skin, did she let herself truly feel it.

Feel the anger and hurt. The razor edged rage and cold emptiness of confused regret. Let herself react to the continued slaps and cuts. Let herself bow under to the final straw.

And with her arms wrapped around her belly to protect her core the redneck sat on the mat in her bathroom, too crushed to find her bed. Rocking herself for comfort, and accepted.

This step, the first in a line that could culminate in finality, had been her choice. Those things that had pushed her to this point, had been at the choosing of another. As much as she regretted the loss, she wouldn't fight to be where she wasn't wanted. Where she was, something underfoot.

Then and only then, did she let the whole of it crush her. Shove her down to the level someone else had apparently decided they wanted her at. For a little while, she let it break her.

When the leading edge softened, eased enough that she could get to her feet, Thorn gathered her pride around her once more. Scrubbed her face in cold water to at least disguise the obvious signs of tears. Got it as together as it was going to be for the night.

Dragged on clean clothes, and headed out.

That night's break was neither the last, nor the worst. But she'd be damned if they'd see her break or bleed.