Four Months Earlier / Fall of October.

?Terry? Terry. How long are you gonna stare at that thing? Don?t make me regret givin? it to you.?

In small country towns like this, there was only two things to do on a Saturday night. Either stay at home or trek your way to mainstreet and catch a show at the new theater. But when you?ve seen all the movies, there is only one option left to you. Throwing rocks at an old abandoned house. That?s exactly what Terry King did now -- and not only her.

Thirteen years old and fresh out of middle school. Entering her last four years of school life and making quick friends with a few of her upperclassmen. One of them being the pretty little number whose lap she had her head nestled against. Terry was a girl in love. She hadn?t felt so free since the moment she met this girl. Christina. Even her name felt fun to say. Her Mother called it a phase, her father didn?t say anything -- but Terry knew it was more than that. It was love, she loved this girl.

Christina was seventeen, curvy in all the right places and an attitude that only came with a body a girl knew could cause her trouble. A small mole above her right lip, straightened black hair, and green eyes that made Terry blush just looking into them. If there was one word to describe her - Terry would use badass. Badass and hers. Things might have started awkward, and at times Terry might have come off as a little too clingy or eager to fit in; but after those first few weeks she felt she was where she should be. Everything just felt right.

Terry?s fingers uncurled to release that heart-shaped pendent she wore about her neck. She had gotten it at the town carnival only a week prior. Gifted would be a better word. Terry tried her best at ring-toss and didn?t have the luck, but when Christina took her place -- it had to be a mix of skill and luck, but she had gotten enough ring?s in place to pick between three prizes. A teddy bear, a cheap looking watch, and finally the necklace that Terry had hanging about her neck.

?What? I can?t be admirin? the gift my girlfriend got me?? The way she said girlfriend, there was much feeling behind it. The feeling crept through Terry?s body and caused her to feel delighted by just mentioning it. Her tanned cheeks burned and her heart fluttered with excitement. Even more when Christina looked to her with a grin and pressed a kiss to her lips.

??till I find someone betta?.? Christina said. Adding a wink after her words. Terry flashed a smile at seeing it and reached out for Christina. Her fingers taking the back of her head to pull her back down so that they could kiss once more.

?What, you sayin? I ain?t the best? Don?t see anyone else linin? up to take you on.?

?You just ain?t lookin? hard enough. There?s tons.?

Terry wouldn?t respond with words. Instead pressing her lips back to Christina?s so that they could do the talking for her.

?You two goin? to keep that up or are we goin? to do somethin? fun?? Trevor. He was in the same grade as Christina and was her best friend. Not only him, but Aaron as well. They stood next to one another. After Trevor spoke, there was a sound of shattering glass. Terry looked their way just in time to see Aaron throwing another rock. It hit inches away from another window and instead scraped off some paint from the windowsill.

?And that?s why coach doesn?t want you pitching, dude.? Trevor laughed and reached out to punch Aaron?s shoulder. Aaron didn?t look happy about that, and Terry could spot a look of anger flash on his face. He did his best to cover it up when they caught each others eyes.

?It?s dark, you should cut ?em some slack..? Terry said.

?Yeah. I don?t see you doin? any better. How many did you need before you broke that window, huuuuh?? Christina's mouth parted wide when she lengthened that `huh`. Drawing it out in such a way to sound like she was mentally challenged. It caused a disgruntled looking Trevor to puff his cheeks before finally laughing out.

?Fine, fine.. Whateva?. Any of you got money? I?ll drive down to the gas station and pick up some beer.?

Christina didn?t seem to miss a beat and already began searching through her pockets. ?I think I gotta? few bucks on me.. An?, wait. I thought your brother got fired??

?Naaah. Uncle let ?em come back.? Trevor said as he stepped closer. His hand reaching out with the universal `gimme sign. Christina had pulled free some bills, and Terry also threw her own into the mix. It gained her another kiss from Cristina -- so she felt more than obligated to help the cause.

?Stop lookin? so pissed off over there, dude.? Trevor said to Aaron.

Aaron hadn?t spoken even a word since the other boy berated him. All he did now was stare up at the house. Terry couldn?t help but stare at him and think the whole thing was odd. She chalked it up to him being upset about being emasculated. Once Trevor left everything should be fine - that?s what she thought.

?I?ll be back in fifteen. Try and help ?em break that window.? Trevor walked past them. Another knocking punch to Aaron?s shoulders before he took the path to the cobblestone steps that lead to the driveway. The mood turned awkward and quiet with his leaving. Terry rose up from her resting against Christina and parted her lips to speak, but it was the other girl who spoke up before her.

?Hey, you shouldn?t let ?em f*ck with you like that.. Punch ?em next time.?

From what Terry could gather. Trevor was mostly a friend out of convenience. His brother worked at the gas station and they didn?t need any ID to score beer off him. He just looked the other way, took their money, and they?d be on their way. If he wasn?t there -- Christina probably wouldn?t of hung out with him. Aaron was her friend and seemed to go wherever she went, and Terry was her girlfriend. It was those circumstances that brought them to this.

?We should just burn this place down..? Aaron said. He didn?t look their way when he did. His focus seemed to be on that window he failed to break.

?It?s not the anyone?ll care or anything. No one?s lived here in years, the place is runned down to sh*t, and pops says they're plannin? on tearing it down anyway.?

Terry?s brow furrowed at the thought. ?I dunno.. couldn?t we get in trouble??

?We?d be doing them a favor.? Christina said after. A bright grin on her lips. ?I wanna do it.?

Terry sat up fully then. She looked from Christina, to Aaron, then back to the older girl with a curious expression. In all honesty - it did sound fun. She?d like to see the place lit up. She had never seen a building on fire up close before. There was television and movies, but this was different. Even though she wanted to -- there was a nagging feeling inside her head. A little voice that told her maybe she shouldn?t. It sounded alot like her mother. The voice reminded Terry that she should of called her a good thirty minutes ago. She was probably worried.

?Terry, you don?t have to if you don?t wanna.. but it?d be cool if you did.? Christina said, having noticed Terry?s silent thought.

Terry shook her head and cleared her thoughts. She pressed a palm to the grass and forced herself to stand up. ?What, I was just tryin? to think how badass it?ll look all up in flames ?n sh*t.? She grinned a mighty grin and hoped that her words of attempted acceptance worked.

Christina?s smile gave her the answer she needed.

It was easy enough to get the gas. Aaron?s truck had a few cans from his lawn mowing business he did on the weekends. Terry lingered by the entrance to the house as she watched the two older teens go about their business of splashing the floor with gasoline. Aaron seemed to be focusing more on his side of the work, but Christina seemed to be having a fun time splashing gas about here and there. On the walls, on the stairs, even on the old window drapes that caused Terry to cough out violently after patting them.

?C?mon, get your hands dirty.. Don?t wanna be a chicken, right?? Christina urged in a voice that Terry found almost hypnotic. The last thing she wanted to seen as by the girl she felt such attracted to - was a chicken. But the youngest of the group paused for a few seconds and swallowed back before finding the will to step forward.

?Ayo.. who you callin? a chicken?? A nervous smirk on Terry?s face.

One that she forced herself into creating. This was wrong, her mind was telling her that -- but at the same time, it just seemed fun. Christina was having a blast, Aaron looked to be in better spirits, and it was just an old house. It was like he said, who would miss it? It was going to be torn down anyway, so why not just give it a head start?

There was only so much left in the can after she took it. Terry stood there like a lost little puppy for a moment, but Aaron?s voice caught her attention and drew her in to look his way.

?Make a path or somethin? with it.? He up-nodded then. ?To the door.?

Terry looked from him and to the door. It might have taken her another pause to realize what he meant, but she caught on in the end. With a self-assuring nod, she went to work. Moving backwards, step by step, toward the door while frugally making a trail of gasoline before her. A trail that Christina was now stepping about, left to right side, as the younger girl worked.

?You gotta? admit. This is gonna be a blast..?

A blast, she said.

?So who?s lightin? this thing up?? Aaron looked between the two.

In his hand was a yellow plastic lighter. He held it out toward Christina then. She leaned back a little from it and raised an eyebrow. All Terry did was stare at it. The thought of lighting the fire herself was a little scary. Too much pressure. When he had looked to her after saying that, she could of swore her heart raced ten times faster. It knocked against her chest like knuckles rasping on a door. When he held it to Christina though, she felt a little better. Would she be the one to do it? For some odd reason -- Terry thought it would be cool.

?What? Wasn?t this your idea? You should be the one to light the fire.? Christina looked so happy splashing that gas around earlier. But Terry could note that right now she seemed a little scared. This was the final nail that would soon be hammered in, and it looked like none of them wanted to be the one to do it.

?Terry?? He said next. Aaron looked Terry?s way, which caught the younger girl by surprise once more. She even jumped some when her name was called.

?What?? The only word Terry could mutter past her lips.

?Yanno.. it?ll be kinda? hot if you did it.? There was that smile again. A lusty one -- one that caused Terry?s mind to be fogged. She couldn?t quite think of the bad in this situation anymore. Much like when she was urged to do her part with spreading the gasoline, she felt that seductive pull to do this as well. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be someone Christina could rely on. She wanted to have her back because Christina had hers.

Christina wasn?t the only one watching. Aaron stood silent during this, but the lighter had been already held out toward Terry. The younger girl swallowed back roughly and reached out to take it with an unsteady hand. All she needed to do was make that flame and light everything up. An easy task, it almost took no thought at all. Just a roll of her thumb and..

She couldn?t do it. Terry stood in front of those wooden stairs that led to the entrance and was as frozen as a statue. Her chest felt tight, yet her heart was beating so fast that she didn?t quite know what was going on. The two behind her waited in silence to see what she?d do, but after a good minute passed -- it was Aaron who swiped the lighter from her hand and did what they set out to.

Terry stepped back and looked to Christina, who was already looking to her. There wasn?t a word, but she could see in the older girls eyes. She was disappointed in her. She even looked away and let out a soft click of her tongue. King looked down to her feet and grit her teeth. I couldn?t do it.. She thought. But what she really wanted to do was open her lips and speak words of apology. Sorry for being such a coward. Sorry for not being the girl -- no, woman -- she wanted to be.

The news called it arson. Of course it was, it was exactly that. But not only that -- they called it murder. A vagrant no one knew had been squatting at the house. How he didn't hear the window break, how he didn't sense the fire. Terry had no idea. It was rumored that he might of been drunk at the time, it sounded like a good enough conclusion for the girl.. but it wasn't what she worried about. She stood there and watched that fire burn without knowing that there was someone suffering, being burnt to death on the inside. It made her sick to her stomach even thinking about it. Prior to the arrest and after hearing about it on the news.. she could hardly sleep, barely eat, she wanted so much to tell her mother what happened.

A person's a person no matter how small.

A quote that she remembered from her childhood -- a childhood she was still living in. She had wanted to grow up so fast, yet this is what happened when she flew too close to the sun. Christina told her not to tell anyone. No one needed to know it was them, they weren't there. Terry hadn't seen or heard from Aaron since the news came out, but Christina told her that he was scared like the rest of them and that King needed to do her part. Keep quiet, don't tell anyone, they weren't there. It was those words that repeated in the young teens mind over and over. But the guilt was still there and it at at Terry from the inside.

You're my girl, right? Do this for me, baby..

Terry King was arrested three weeks later.

?You?ve gotten bigger too, haven?t you? I see some muscle.?

They walked side by side. Hand in hand. The marketplace was so full with many people, yet none of them mattered to Terry. The only thing that did matter was the hand she now squeezed her curled fingers against. Why am I doing this..? This is crazy. Terry?s mind tried desperately to talk her out of what she was doing. This woman was the reason she was shipped to this city in the first place.

?.. A lil?.. I started swimmin?, some basketball too.? Terry looked Christina?s way when she heard the woman chuckle after her words.

?You? Swim? I could never get you jump off the high dive. ?

That memory caused Terry?s cheeks to burn red hot. She looked away and drew her lower lip between teeth. A nibble of a bite came to it as she tried her best to think of something to say. Nothing came at first, at least until Terry drew in a breath, held it, then let it loose as she shrugged.

"Real swimmin?.. you know, the kind they do on TV ?n sh*t..?

?So, no high dives??

?No high dives.?

They looked to one another. Christina?s smile got Terry to do the same. Laughter followed. A share laughed between the two of them.

God dammit..

Room 118.

How did it come to this? Terry told herself she wouldn?t go. Told herself to just throw away that piece of paper and forget about the meeting, to forget about Christina. But she couldn?t. It wasn?t even 2 PM and she just couldn?t stay away. When the older woman opened the door, it was all Terry needed to grasp at her. They shared no words at first. It was the sounds of lust that filled the room. No, was it really lust? Terry felt something in her heart when she laid in bed with Christina. It felt like a void was filled.. something she hadn?t been able to fill in such a long time. Not with drugs, not with other women.. Not with.. No, that isn?t true.

Gabby?s image filled her thoughts. Why was it her that came to mind?

Terry would rest there on that bed. A thin sheet of fabric covering her nude form. It wasn?t her who put it there, it was Christina who did before she left the bed to visit the restroom. The door was cracked enough, allowing Terry a glimpse of Christina moving about inside that small room. .. Why? She bit down on her bottom lip. Hard enough to cause a sharp pinch of pain to spread over her form. She began to curl. Grasping at those sheets and hugging them close to herself.

This is so f**ked up..

?I have a meeting.? The bathroom door opened even more as Christina spoke. Terry looked her way with a confused expression written all over her features. Christina was at the sink, already dressed and touching up her makeup. ?It shouldn?t take long.. You can stay if you want.? Terry watched as that lipstick was applied.. and - for some strange reason - it made her stomach turn. Maybe it wasn?t that, maybe it was the nonchalant way the other woman spoke.

This was a mistake.. a f**ked up mistake.

?When I get back.. let?s go out. There?s a nice little greek restaurant around the corner.?

Terry kept quiet. The only sounds that came from her would be the sounds of shifting sheets. She turned to rest against her other side. Her back now to the bathroom and the woman within.

?It?s your girlfriend, isn?t it? You?re worried she might see us??

?.. I don?t have a girlfriend.?

God dammit..

Christina laughed. The sound alone caused Terry to tense up even more than she had already been. Stop it.. She found herself wanting to say, but the words wouldn?t come. Terry would just lay there and listen as the older woman continued to laugh.

?I find that hard to believe.. But if you say so.?

Why was she acting so normal? It was like four years ago never happened. Terry hated that. She hated how normal this woman was being. It annoyed her, but it also saddened her. She hadn?t even apologized for what she did. The subject was dropped the second they left the tea shop, and neither of them brought it up again. Why can?t you just say sorry..? Just say somethin?.. Maybe that would make it easier to explain just why she was here. If she could somehow, someway, force herself to think that she somehow forgave Christina and everything was fine again.. but it wasn?t.

She still hated her.. but at the same time - she loved her.

?.. What happened? To Aaron..? She found herself saying. There was a soft click that came from the bathroom. The sound of something touching down against the sink. Terry wouldn?t look to see what it was. No, she kept her back to that door -- even though she truly wanted to turn and just watch Christina like she did those few years ago. She always liked watching her.

Why the question? Why'd she have to ask that? Did she really want to know what happened to the guy that got her into this whole situation in the first place? The reason the house was even lit on fire.. the reason why she was in RhyDin.. the reason Christina lied. She lied because of him, she said, he was going to tell her mother about them. But why did that seem so odd to her? It sounded wrong, she couldn't believe it - not because it didn't sound like something Aaron would do.. but because she couldn't believe Christina had been hiding the fact that she liked women.

?We got married.. We have a son.?

That?s not what Terry wanted to hear.

The silence between them during that moment, and the few before after their first meeting within the marketplace, was becoming some sort of trend. Terry could hear the older girl busy herself within the bathroom. If she didn?t want to speak, neither would she. While words wouldn?t dare leave the teens lips -- it was her mind that was on fire. Christina was married.. she had a son. But she hadn?t even batted an eyelash when they laid together in the very same bed she was still resting upon. Did he force her into the marriage? Both of them were liars -- accessories to the fire and the end result of it. Terry was as well, but..

She couldn?t believe her. It was hard. She really wanted to believe, truly. The same part of her that did. The same part that led her to this hotel was the same that wanted to do nothing but grasp hold of the woman and ask for her to stay. .. I?m so stupid.. A child. You?re still a child. That?s what Christina said. Maybe this whole thing was childish. This whole stupid situation. She shouldn?t be here. She should be studying.. she promised Gabby that she would try her hardest and study for an upcoming math test. But, no.. here she was.

Why was she thinking about Gabby?

?I?m leaving.. ? Was all Christina had to say. Interrupting Terry from her thoughts and inner questions. She rose and looked to the door, but it was already closing behind Christina's calm form. How can she act that way.. Terry closed her eyes. Her face pressed roughly against a pillow and was held there.

She?ll be back..

She said so. After all. But Christina said a lot of things. Not just now, but back then as well. Many things that never came true.. and things that, in the end, hurt Terry. It made her stomach churn and forced her body to curl. She pressed a hand to her upset stomach and closed her eyes tightly.

?I hate you..? she found herself saying. At last. But it fell upon her ears only.. and hers weren?t the ears that the words were meant for.